Fanfiction Letters from a Time Traveler

Neko Shogun

Neko Shogun

A floofy kitteh
The Convergence Series GM
Letters from a Time Traveler

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Premise

During her time in confinement by the ODMA, Ilona writes several letters to her friends and family. She never sends them, tearing most of them up save for a few she intended to send to Shiki and could not bear herself to part with. She uses them as a tool to help herself cope with the long stay. These letters were written after the end of Murder Game XV: Civil War and before the start of the side-story Time Squad. They can also be found listed here on my blog.

Table of Contents
1. Dear Mother
2. Dear Father
3. Dear Little Brother
4. Dear Sir Minato
5. Dear Master
6. Dear Sir Mason
7. Dear Miss Ruby
8. Dear Sir Shiki
9. Odd Day
10. Dear Journal​
 
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Dear Mother,

It's been so long since we've last spoken. How are you? I hope you are doing well, and that Arendelle is thriving. I just want you to know I'm doing fine, and that I'm sorry I haven't been home in so long. It pains me to admit it, but I've had control of my powers for quite some time, yet I'm embarrassed to return home regardless. I've let you down. I haven't become the princess, nor the young woman you hoped I would be. I do hope you forgive me for failing you as a daughter.

Admittedly, I did come home once. It was about a year ago on a cold, snowy night. I broke into the castle and wandered about, searching through some of the old rooms. They brought back a lot of memories and made me yearn to see you. I almost came to find you, but I stopped myself when I found my old room and saw a new child was staying in it. It was childish behavior on my part, feeling jealous of this new sibling I didn't know. I now regret having felt that way.

What's his name? This new brother of mine? I bet father is excited to have a boy. Perhaps this son will be a child that makes you proud, a prince worthy of someday ruling Arendelle. So long as he takes after you, I'm certain this will be so. Maybe someday I'll get to meet him if I can ever bring myself to come home. Until then, I hope he makes you smile and treats you the way a mother deserves to be treated.

I bet you're wondering when I may return home next. Well, I'm afraid it won't be for some time. Although I've learned to control my teleportation abilities, I have another problem to take care of. My powers run deeper, and are far darker than I had feared. I'm staying somewhere right now. Hopefully, in due time, I will learn to control these dark abilities so that they may not heart anyone and I can feel comfortable traveling once more. I love you, mother. I hope you continue to stay well.

--Ilona
 
Dear Father,

I hope that you are well, and that the Sun's blessings shine upon you! ...I'll admit it was difficult for me to write that first sentence to you. My faith in the Sun has always been strong, yet lately I find myself wavering. I question its existence. Is the Sun even there? If the Sun truly does exist, perhaps it just doesn't care for me. I've been faithful all my life. I prayed ever since I was a small child, I told others of my savior the Sun, and behaved in a jolly manner to spread hope and smiles to others. I've done all this, yet I've never received any blessings.

I feel that if I were truly blessed, I would've been allowed a stable childhood, friends, the love of you and mother, and a peaceful life. However, I've always been... alone. Even now, surrounded by others who intend to help me learn how to control more of my powers, I don't truly feel at home. They try their best to make me comfortable here, but I can't help feeling like an obligation, a burden to them. But, then again, I've never truly felt at home anywhere, have I? Forgive me for sounding so grim, father. It just feels nice to write these letters and to admit how I feel.

That being said, I've decided not to send any of these letters. Not to you, mother, or anyone. You'll never read these words, and I feel it's for the best. I'll never have an ordinary life, a life where I can be a true daughter to you and mother or a true friend to others. I'm different, and I've accepted that. So, I feel it's best I stay disconnected from those who are unlike me. I will still cherish people like you, old friends, and new friends, but I fear I will never stay in their lives for very long. I'll always be moving through the multiverse alone, never resting. When I've finished with my training, that's what I intend to do.

Fear not, however! I may sound grim, but I am not always sad. I've learned to cope with the situation life has given me, and the small empty space I feel in my heart. I only hope that I can once again feel strong faith for the Sun like I did when I was a child, and that one day I will never again waver. I love you, my dear father, and will never forget the times you carried me upon your shoulders when I was a small child. You carried me to your Sun alter and we prayed together. I hope that you're still praying, father, and that you will one day teach my little brother the same things you taught me.

--Ilona
 
Dear Little Brother,

I'm uncertain how one goes about writing a letter to a person you've never met before, a person who's name you don't even know, yet nevertheless I've decided to do so for your sake. You aren't just anyone, after all, you're my younger brother! I'd like to start by introducing myself. I'm Ilona, your older sister! You'll probably be far too young to understand this letter right now, but I suppose this won't be a problem anyhow. After all, I'm not exactly sending these letters to anyone, am I?

Like you, I come from Arendelle. I was born with a power like magic that took me away from home. But, fear not! I'm not sad, I've got to have many adventures because of this power. I'll be sure to write all about them in these letters. In fact, perhaps I may even send you presents from the other worlds I visit! To do this, however, I may need to know more about you. What are some of your favorite colors? What are your favorite foods? Do you fancy the cold like mother does or the warmth of the sun like father? I look forward to learning more about you someday!

Perhaps, while I'm at it, I'll tell you a bit about myself! Like father, I enjoy the warmth. I have blue eyes, blonde hair, and the elegance of mother. However, I am told my behavior is a bit like our Aunt Anna. I've never met Aunt Anna myself, her spirit went to live with the Sun before I was even born. I hear she was energetic, excited, and perhaps a bit gullible too. So, I suppose I'm like that. My favorite colors are yellow and orange, a soft orange like the sunset. And my favorite foods are... fruits like apples and grapes... I do hope you eat those yourself! They'll aide you in growing to be a healthy, fine young man!

I have a lot more I could tell you about myself, yet I've decided to wait for another time. Right now, I'm busy training to learn how to use my powers at a special place. I'll have a lot of time on my hands to write you things, so I'll be sure to come up with a lot more interesting things to tell you! I have stories about worlds with red skies, magical creatures, pirates, witches, and many special friends I've met along the way. I'm certain mother and father will tell you the same stories they told me of their own heroic friends, but I'd be happy to share mine too. I wish you well, young one.

Your Big Sis,

Ilona
 
Dear Sir Minato,

A part of me wanted to put off this letter, but a part of me was itching so badly to write it I figured you should be the next person I write too. Greetings, Sir Minato! I most certainly hope life is treating you well. By this point, I have to wonder if you and Lady Ciel have married or have even had a child together. Whether that's the case or not, I most certainly could picture you as a father! You did so well comforting and inspiring me as a child when we were both involved in the Fiamma Incident. It's part of the reason I'm so fond of you, even to this day.

Admittedly, you were my childhood crush. It feels strange to write it, but it's much easier to do so knowing I won't send you this letter. I wonder if you ever even realized it? Whether you did or not, it's true. As I mentioned before, I still think fondly of you, so perhaps not much has changed. The only thing that's changed is... I'm older now. Sometimes I wonder if you were to see me now, would I have had more of a chance to gain your attention. While it's silly to admit, sometimes I daydream about traveling back in time, to a time before you knew Lady Ciel, so maybe I could--

It's within my power to do so. I could wave a hand and instantly be in your world, creating a situation for us to meet. While I'm not the best with romance, it'd be fun to at least try and gain your attention. But I won't do it. Surely it would mess up the timeline, yet that's not my main reason. You're an ordinary person, and I'm not. With me, you could never have children or a stable home. The malevolence inside me will forever prevent me from having an ordinary life, a life you could enjoy. My staying away from you is the only worthwhile gift I can give you, so I intend to do just that.

But whether I ever see you again or not, I just hope somewhere deep down you remember me... and know that once upon a time you made a lost little girl very happy and full of hope. You were probably my first love, maybe my last too. If I can help it, it's probably best I refrain from ever falling in love. About the closest I've come in a while is to the point of... admiring someone, a person you know, in fact. However, now isn't the time to be talking about such things! I'll probably never see him again anyhow! So, my friend, I bid thee farewell. Keep your swordsman skills up in case we do ever meet again. I've been practicing over the years, so perhaps now I'll be a more worthy opponent.

--Ilona
 
Dear Master,

While it has been many years since we've spoken, you've never left my thoughts, dear Master. It is I, Ilona, your student and friend. I've failed to come back and visit you after all these years, and for that I am sorry. After you helped me learn how to control my powers of teleportation I found it difficult to stay in one place. There are so many worlds across the multiverse, so many discoveries to be made, that I can hardly keep myself from holding still. A part of me wishes I would've taken you up on your offer, to capture you in a pokéball and take you with me, but as I said before I feel you are a free spirit and my friend. I could never carry a friend around in any manner of device resembling a small cage.

Lately, Master, I feel myself to be struggling. I miss you so very much, and I can't find a way to fill the hole of loneliness I feel in my heart. I've made friends through my travels, but I've chosen to disconnect from them. It was the right decision for them, but I'm only rewarded for my good deed with pangs of longing. How does one learn to be happy on their own? You've taught me so many things, but I feel this is one thing you never taught me because... there may be no answer.

Right now, I'm in a place called the ODMA. I'm being held here because of the malevolent power inside me. They intend to have me master it before I'm allowed to leave. I feel none of these people understand my power enough, however, to truly know what they should teach me. I'd much rather leave this place and go to you for help again. You're wise, and even if you couldn't teach me yourself I feel you'd know someone who could. Anyhow, regardless of how difficult this is, I'm going to keep working my hardest to learn this power of mine. I'll stay here as long as it takes.

Before I go, I want to leave you by saying... you are my very best friend and I think of you always. I'll never forget how we met, when you rescued me from that Hypno. We've come a long way since then, haven't we? Sometimes I wonder if you've ever met another child like me, a child who needed your help. If that's truly the case, they are one of the luckiest children in the multiverse. I would know, because I also feel myself to be one of the lucky ones. Take care, my friend. I will most certainly visit you again someday.

--Ilona
 
Dear Sir Mason,

Admittedly, I'm not in the best of moods today as I write you this letter. I had hoped the first time I would be writing a letter to you, I could muster up enough positivity to seem like the cheerful girl you met before the start of the Civil War incident. But today, I've honestly had a rough day. I feel as if you are someone I can trust, so even if you will never see this letter maybe it'll make me feel better pretending as if I really am writing this to you. I do hope you wont mind, good sir!

This morning, my day started off rather lonely. I had a dream last night where I could see friends from my past, such as Miss Ruby, Sir Shiki, Miss Sakuya, you and others you don't know such as my master, Miss Sora, Miss Ryan, and Sir Minato. They were at a party, and I was trapped in a glass box, watching them. I pounded on the walls of the glass box, yet I couldn't escape. They couldn't see me, nor could they hear me. But they walked about, having fun with one another, fun I couldn't touch. When I woke up, I realized that's how I feel right now. I feel... trapped here. While Miss Lalonde is kind to me, I don't really feel at home yet with the others. Perhaps I'm not trying hard enough... but still, I feel lonely...

I know my stay at the ODMA isn't about me though. I need to learn how to control my powers. Yet, when I make little progress I only feel more frustrated. Today, while training, I made an error. It was an explosion that went off, surrounding myself with flames. I ruined my clothing and ended up with burns over a good portion of my body. Perhaps this was my own fault. It seems whenever I'm emotionally stressed it's only harder for me to have control, and I did start off the day feeling rather unhappy.

Forgive me for rambling. I should at least try to be a bit more positive, yes? On the bright side, I had been meaning to change my clothes for some time now. I've decided to go with a red coat; admittedly, because it reminds me of the pretty red cloak Miss Ruby wears. The coat has cogs designs on it, which I suppose is fitting for a girl with the ability to travel through time. I've also chosen to adorn a pair of sonic goggles given to me by a time lord--an alien from a planet known as Gallifrey--not too long ago. They might be rather useful. They'll help protect my eyes when training, and they're even able to change shape to various other forms of eyewear and headwear. Time lords make some interesting devices.

Anyhow, I spent so much time talking about me that I've failed to ask how you're doing. Sir Mason, I most certainly hope you're doing well, wherever you are. I'm sad that you aren't here with me, but I most certainly hope your life is full of happiness. Perhaps someday we'll meet again. I hope so.

--Ilona
 
Dear Miss Ruby,

Greetings, my friend! I most certainly hope you are doing well! I believe last time we spoke you said you would be heading home to return to your studies. While I don't know much about those things, I wish you well with them. Truthfully, when it comes to education, I've learned little in my life. I know how to read, write, and a bit about the history of my kingdom. I suppose I've learned more through my travels than I ever have at home. I've learned bits and pieces of different languages, suffixes, and how to survive on my own. They've been helpful enough skills.

By the way, Miss Ruby, I'm in a wonderful mood today! It's an odd thing to admit after having felt dreadful the other day, but I have good reasoning. It's because your friend, Miss Sophie, has come to stay here with me at the ODMA. I was able to meet her today and I'm so very excited! Praise the Sun!!! I cannot begin to tell you how happy I am that she's here. Meeting her reminds me of how I felt when I met Sir Shiki Tohno for the first time. Like Sir Shiki, Miss Sophie was a friend of my mother's! She was another precious individual my mother used to speak of in her stories.

Meeting Miss Sophie is like a dream come true, and she's been very kind to me. I do hope the two of us can become friends. In fact, wouldn't it be most pleasant if the three of us could all spend some time together someday? Once I am free of the ODMA, perhaps we could all go on a vacation together, just like we talked about after the Civil War Incident. It would be most wonderful to spend time with the both of you together.

Another thing I wanted to address, how has Lady Weiss been? I hope she's also settled back in at home. I'm considering whether or not I should write to her. Would she even read a letter if she saw it was from me? I do not feel as if she hates me, more that she feels guilty for not having treated me kindly during the Civil War Incident. I hope someday she will realize I don't hold grudges, and that I was being honest with her when I said I wanted to be friends.

That is all I have to say for now. I do hope you take care, Miss Ruby!

--Ilona
 
Dear Sir Shiki,

It's difficult finding the words to write you, even knowing I don't intend to send this to you. Perhaps I should start by saying I hope both you and Miss Len are doing well. I hope that somehow you've come to find the ordinary, peaceful life you've always dreamed of, and that you are enjoying your days no matter how many you may have left. Although, I probably shouldn't wish these things for you. I'm more than certain you've found them. You seemed determined to do so.

I sort of... miss you. Ah, well, nobody will ever see this so I see no harm in admitting it... I do miss you. I may not have been around you for long, but I miss hearing your words of encouragement and the feeling of knowing someone who understood me was on my side. I regret we had little time together, that we were unable to chat more. It would've been interesting to hear more about your life from your own lips, rather than through the reports I read at the Coalition. And it most certainly would've been interesting to hear more about the old murder games. It's a shame I'll probably never see you again. You were a good friend to me, one like no other.

But were we friends? At times, I wonder if you looked at me and ever really saw... me. When you looked at me, did you see Ilona, or did you only see the daughter of Elsa and Solaire? Did you look at me as a child who needed protecting, or as a young woman your age, an equal? I suppose either way I wouldn't blame you, but it would make me happier knowing you did actually see me. I suppose that's another one of life's mysteries I'll never know.

I'll give you a status update on how I'm doing here at the ODMA. I'm happy now that Miss Sophie is here! Have you ever met her? She was another friend of my mother's, just as you were. As for learning to control my abilities, it's a work in progress...

But honestly, Sir Shiki, it's a great struggle. I feel like the others get frustrated with me. They try to be patient, but I don't really feel as if they know what I'm going through. At times, it's as if I'm trapped in my own body with no control over my own actions. You understand, don't you? Of course you do. I wish you were here... if you were, perhaps I would then hear words of genuine understanding. My ODMA companions mean well, but they truly don't know... so I try my best to be patient with them.

Also, I-- Oh never mind. This letter is getting far too long. I'll write you again soon. Until then, have a most pleasant day, my dear friend.

--Ilona
 
Odd Day

Dear Sir Shiki,

You'd probably think me to be very silly if you could only see me now. Remember the day I broke down crying? The day I admitted how lonely I was? It was true, and yet here I am tearing up every letter I write just to try and disconnect myself from everyone. As much as I cherish all of the people I've written to, they aren't like me and they're better off moving on as I fade into the back of their minds as a distant memory.

But here I am contradicting myself. I couldn't tear up my last letter to you. It sits in my journal, untouched. Most often, I leave my written letters alone for a day or two before I crumble them up, but my last letter to you is now a week old and my heart sinks at the thought of tearing it up. What makes it any different than the others? What makes you any different?

Perhaps it's because you're a bit like me, or maybe it's just because I don't want you to forget me. But what even is the point? Whether I tear it or not, you'll still never see it. You'll never see me. I feel so frustrated right now I could just--
Dear Mother,

So, today has been a very odd day for me. Remember how I told you that I'm presently at a location where I'm learning how to use my powers? Well, something peculiar happened with them today. My bed exploded. I wasn't even in training and I blew my room to bits. I was just sitting at my desk in the room I'm staying at within the ODMA writing a letter when it happened.

I wasn't in any emotional distress I don't think... I was only writing a letter to Sir Shiki Tohno, a letter I didn't even have time to finish on account of the explosion I had to run away from. Have I ever told you that I met him? Yes, I met him. He's a different sort of fellow, but charming. He has the same aura about him as you and father have. He's special, and though I will never see him again, I'll always treasure having met him.

Speaking of individuals from your past, I've also met your friend Sophie. She seems very fond of you, and it was exciting to see her. She's actually staying here with me at the ODMA right now. But, ah, anyhow enough writing for me today. Perhaps I'll write again tomorrow, this time to someone I haven't addressed yet. I'm a bit wore out after the panic of destroying my room. I'll probably sleep with Sophie in her room tonight... until they've cleaned up mine.

--Ilona
 
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Dear Journal,

It's been a while since I've written a personal vignette. I won't tear up journal entries as I do letters... or some of my letters at least. I will tear up the rest at some point. Maybe. It's just hard for me. Tearing up my letters is symbolic of me detaching from everyone as if I'm saying goodbye. Yet, deep down I don't want to say goodbye to the only person I've met who can understand me. But I digress, today I'm not writing this entry to speak of my struggle over the letters. I'm writing this to get something off my chest. I can't tell anyone about this yet... not even in fake letters I won't send.

I always felt as if I would live a long time. My powers have teleported me away from danger countless times and have even healed my body. I've always been confident that nothing will kill me. Nothing will hurt me, because nothing can hurt me. Those feelings of confidence all but faded after I began having a strange, recurring dream. It's a nightmare in which I find myself standing in a castle make of black ice. I walk forward and find a blond man with sinister blue eyes staring at me. He speaks to me, but I can never remember what he says. All I know is that I'm afraid. He reaches out and grabs me by my throat, lifting me off the ground. He strangles me, but that's not all. I begin to feel weaker, as if he's draining my very life out of my body. Afterwards, everything goes black and I wake up.

I want to tell myself that this is just a dream. I want to believe that with all my heart. Yet, the castle of black ice makes uncomfortable. It looks like one of my mother's creations. l have this horrible feeling like she's been kidnapped, her powers corrupted by the man in my dream. In my heart I know I need to return to Arendelle to confirm this, but I'm afraid. If I return, will I die like in my dream? Regardless, I should go home at some point. Perhaps after I finish my training. Whether I want to or not, I know this dream is something I have to face. I only wish I didn't have to do it alone...

--Ilona
 
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