Smugglers Cove (Love2write and Silence)

The older man took a breath. "He needs what? Star this is going to turn into a bloodbath. How do you think stealing an entire flight of ships will look? What about the crews and those slaves that are supposed to manage the ships? You know as well as I do that he killed the entire crew to get his first ship and you want him to encourage that for an entire flight?" Part of Mike was afraid that they would succeed and the other part that they would fail. "You don't have to say it. I will. If he does this and we allow him to do all the planning he will turn into a monster."
 
Star looked down at her feet and nods. "I know..." She murmurs. "What do you want me to do though? Talk him out of it? I can't imagine how. I already agreed to back him up."
 
A grin came to Mike's face. "That's fine. He already thinks that you're on his side. What we need to do is go up there and plan with him. We'll help modify the radical side." Hopefully they could anyway. There was always the concern that Killian may improvise in between. Then he had another thought. If Star were to become Killian's focus again it might change things. It was almost like he'd turned off some of his emotional connections. Getting Star back had been a driving factor and then being separated from her still had been difficult. Now he saw that just a very short time of being in that same company had Killian raging to get at something.

Heading up the stairs he came to Killian's room and walked in. Knocking wouldn't do any good cause he knew that the man would refuse him entrance to the room. "How's the leg?"

"You know darn well, you...you piss pot." Killian looked over at Mike. "What is it? Here to tell me that you're going to abandon the crew."

Mike shook his head. "No, quite frankly you don't have a crew. She's hurt." That appeared to get Killian's attention and his friend got a shocked expression. "You hurt her. Star wants you not whatever your plans are for the future." Letting out a long breath he peered at Killian from under his brow. "I'm a little concerned you'll get yourself killed if you go too early." As tempting as it was to address the larger issues he needed to get something else straight first. "If you take Star in there what will happen to her? What if something happens to you? I don't think she could take that." For the time that was all he had to say and he was about to leave when he heard Killian ask him to stay for a moment longer.

"What do I do to help her? You've always been able to talk to people. I need her."

Surprised and pleased the man sat down on the chair near the bed. Lightly tapping one foot he thought for a long moment. It was good to see that Killian was still very soft hearted when it came to Star. "She needs you to love her right now. Going off and starting a fight won't prove that you love her. Try doing something romantic. Get her flowers, a card, draw her a picture, take her out for a walk where all you focus on is her and not the damn wars you want to start." Even though he was feeling somewhat relieved the older engineer couldn't help some of his frustration. "She's trying and if you lose her it wouldn't be Star this time. It would be your own damn fault."

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Killian sat in his room for a long time after Mike left. He was stuck in his thoughts almost like a trance. It wasn't about the Killing Fields. This was about Star. He was terrified of losing her. What if she really didn't want to go back and see the masters killed like that? Finally he got himself off the bed and with a far more meek attitude sought out Star. She had to be somewhere in the house.

Quietly he came to stand next to her in the living room and stared at the gardens with her for several minutes. After what felt like forever he spoke. "Star....Walk with me." Pausing he realized that it sounded more like a demand. "Please."
 
Star stood an arm around her wait and her finger pulling at her hair. She loved Killian...and she was scared of losing him, especially so soon after getting him back. What if going after these guys really did make him snap? But what if he wasn't able too? Things between them felt so fragile. One wrong word or move and the bridge between them would collapse and he'd give it all up.

His prescence appears beside her and he stands silently. She wanted to speak, but no words would come. For several minutes they stood silently. What was he thinking? Was he going to tell her his plan for how they were going to do this. Was he trying to figure out how to tell her he wanted her to stay and go alone himself. What if he didn't come back? Finally he speaks and she looks up at him.

"Ok." Star follows him outside into the garden, trying to keep the stress and concern from showing on her face. "Whats...what's going on?"
 
(Hahaha the one thing he doesn't know how to answer.)


Killian stepped into the garden with Star. Almost cautiously he would look at her every now and then. He still couldn't believe that he'd hurt her. How could he have been so stupid? Of course she wasn't ready to go back. It was obvious just the way that she was reacting now. They barely got started on the walk and she spoke at last. Stopping, he gazed at her. "Uh...I uh...." Sometimes he couldn't help it and this was one of those times. He was lost. Desperately he started to look around. What was he going to say? Then he saw Mike from the window making some sort of gesture. Frowning a little, Killian wasn't entirely sure what the other man wanted him to do. Finally he gave up and turned his gaze back to Star.

"Nothing." It was pathetic and even he knew that. "So...." Taking a deep breath he thought for a moment. "What if we go out to the docks and look at ships? Not to steal...just look." Sounded like a romantic outing. "I'll make the sandwiches so we can have lunch out there."

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Inside the house Killian made the sandwiches and Mike walked into the kitchen to see how it went. "So you ask her to go for a picnic?" That sounded pretty good and then Killian told him what they were going to do. The engineer almost dropped his jaw. "That's not what I meant. You're supposed to take her to something she likes. Maybe a...What does she like? I know you like ships but, that doesn't mean the love of aircraft and travel is universal." By the time he finished with his half scolding the older man wandered out of the kitchen shaking his head.

Wandering into the boiler room he decided to see if he could fix the hot water heater for Anna. It sounded like there were bubbles in the pipes and while she hadn't said anything he figured it was due the fact that she didn't know about it. Shaking his head he laughed to himself. "Good lord, he's about as dense as they come. Taking a woman to go stare at docked ships."
 
A lunch on the docks. She knew Killian loved the ships, loved space. This was his way of taking her on a date, she knew. Just like the first time he'd taken her somewhere "romantic". That old cargo bay after drinks. She chuckles lightly and grabs some blankets for them to sit on. She meets Killian at the door. "Ready?" She questions, blankets in hand. It wasn't super normal for him to initiate a date...and the fact that it was coming mere hours after his determined plan to go after the masters worried her. He hadn't been honest with her in the garden. He was holding back from saying something...she couldn't help but wonder if this was going to be a breakup date.
 
Going on a date was a little concerning for him. Killian hadn't ever done this officially. Last time was on board the ship and he was very familiar with that setting. In fact now that he thought about it ships were about the only places he ever thought of taking a girl. Something about big old greasy engines and massive metal vessels. It was comfortable and a lovely view. The next best thing would have been to get off the planet and in the air again. Since Star had the blankets he let her carry those. Whatever they needed blankets for he didn't know. It wasn't cold outside and...."Why do you look so worried?" Killian glanced at her when he stopped at the docks.

Since she wasn't answering right away he pointed to a spot on the ground. "We could set up right there. Got the best view of the prettiest machine." Finally it occurred to Killian that this was why she had the blankets. Taking a seat next to Star he peered up at the machine. Perhaps there was a glint of desire. He wanted a ship and he wanted to go flying again. Then he remembered that he'd asked her what she was worried about. "Aren't you going to answer."
 
"You lied to me. In the garden. When I asked what was going on. You said nothing...but I know you were trying to say something." She'd folded her arms around her knees, looking down at her feet. "Are you breaking up with me, Killian?"
 
"What?!" Killian stared at her dumbfounded. "You accuse me of lying to you and then ending this?" A deep frown came to his face. "Why would you think something like that? If I wanted to be done with you I would have said so."
 
Star glanced up at him only to look away again. He looked and sounded angry by the accusation. She wasn't trying to be accusing..."I..." How did she put her feelings, her fears, her insecurities into words. "I know you said you loved me...but...I feel like there's this huge gap between us and I'm only hanging onto you by a thread. I'm terrified that, that if I have another episode or something...this will just break apart." She looked up at him.
 
The explanation made some sense. Killian swallowed and nodded. "I don't like it when you have episodes but, its not enough to make me leave you." It was strangely quiet after they had both said what they needed to. In part. There was still a lot more to say for himself. "Maybe it doesn't feel like it, but I'm trying. This is my best." More than likely it wasn't good enough. He would have to ask Mike more about this later on. What did you do when a girl didn't feel like you were close? Then again he could always ask Star. "Why does it feel like there's a gap?"
 
"You haven't really talked with me, for one. I don't know anything about how you're feeling. What's happened to you, what's really changed. I'm not even sure why you suddenly want to go after the Masters. Like I kinda get it, but...I get the feeling there is something more." Star scoots a little closer to him. "I don't want to have to guess what is going on in your mind. I don't expect you to share everything thought with me. But I need to know when you are upset and why and what I can do to help. I need to know when I make you happy or upset. Sometimes it is really hard to read you." She chuckles lightly.
 
"Its not hard to read me." Killian felt a little miffed at the idea that he was that difficult. "I make it very clear what I'm thinking." At least from his perspective. There was an entire private world of his own that he never thought of counting as part of his life or something that others should know about. "Since you don't know what I'm thinking I'll tell you." A smirk came to his face and he leaned a little closer to her. "I don't need any other woman, just you." Since he still wasn't sure where they stood on certain kinds of physical contact he kissed her cheek. "There now you know."
 
She chuckles lightly. "You missed my lips by a mile." Star leans in planting one where it was supposed to go, her hand coming to rest on his chest. "I don't think you realize just how often a girl needs to be told they're wanted and loved and needed. Especially after all we've been through, its really nice having that reassurance." She stares into his eyes only inches from his face, then sits back in her earlier spot. "How are you doing? Really? Where'd this stealing a fleet idea come from?"
 
"That's cause I haven't had practice." Killian smirked and almost leaned away from her when she suddenly got close to his face. It was a little unexpected but he relaxed after a moment. Her hand on his chest was nice. What Mike said had to be true. Star was obviously needing more attention than what he'd been accustomed to giving a woman. Searching her eyes with his own he tried to read what she was doing. She didn't usually stare into his eyes like that without a reason. Of course that reason came out soon as she sat back. Killian could feel her hand drop from his chest and he tried to avoid looking at her. Lying was never his best suit and it was going to come out eventually. "I can't sleep." Turning his eyes away from Star he looked out over the docks again. "Star, I want to kill those people that stand in the stadium and watch men kill each other for sport. It's sick what they do. The men that run the cages should be strung up and skinned alive. If they think keeping those men cooped up to kill each other is sport then we may as well make sport of killing them."
 
"And if you did that...what would make you better than them?" She asks solemnly. "I understand your pain...I feel the same about Kafus...about what he did to me. But treating them the same way we were...that just makes you as bad as them. If you do this...get a fleet to rescue the fighters...you'd better damn well do it right. I can't sit and watch you murder a bunch of people, but I can support you rescuing their victims...and if need be...killing those who get in the way." She pulls out the sandwiches and hands one to him. "Sides, don't you think they'll suffer more if we steal their slaves and wealth and leave them destitute?"
 
Killian met her gaze and he growled. "I don't care if they suffer or not. It's not about suffering this is about putting them out of the way. Someone will come to rescue them from the planet and they'll return home to their estates and start the process over again. If we let them live they will find a way to hunt us down and you know they don't kill their slaves or servants. Instead they make us live in hell for days, months, or years until we die from abuse or simply give up." His heart rate had gone up and his eyes began to flame with rage. Staring at the blanket intently he narrowed his eyes slightly. "I can't promise you I won't kill any of those people. I hate them."
 
Star put her hand on his hand, staring at him sadly, not certain what to say in response to that. She understood...but she also knew he'd lose himself if he started. "I don't want to lose you. If you start down that path, there's a good chance you'll lose every last shred of humanity that you have. I told you before didn't I...there has to be lines...we don't cross...no matter what. Mass murder is one of them. We can find other ways to shut them down."
 
Killian looked up at her. "Because I'm already close enough to being a beast?" He found her way of putting it irritating to say the least. "If you think there's another way to stop people like that then you didn't learn much from your captivity." Pulling his hand away he rubbed at it. It was itching and he could have sworn it felt like he had something on his hand. Maybe it was just having her palm on his hand and there was sweat. His entire head was screaming for him to just go away and find someplace quiet. Still he sat there and continued to frown while rubbing at his hand. "We're not leaving for a while anyway."

The frown on his face intensified. "Star, we'll work on a plan together. I just need time." Letting out a long breath he quit rubbing his hand momentarily and then it started tingling again. "Ugh..."
 
The sandwiches were left untouched and the rest of their short stay there was awkward to say the least. Star pushed through the door of the house tired and verge of tears. He looked up from his seat in the kitchen expectantly but she gave him a slight shake of her head. He was still determined as ever. She felt like he was losing him, even if he insisted she wasn't. He was so angry and refused to let it go. Mike was right...if they let him go full blown on this rampage...he'd lose himself, but no matter what she said, he found something to get angry at. It was exhausting. She dropped onto the bed, curling up in the covers for a nap.
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Kato sat on the edge of the bed slowly lifting his arms, bending down, standing, stretching and sitting again. While he felt like his body was covered in extremely painful weights he knew if he didn't move, his muscles would never have a chance to grow and accommodate his new bones. Andy had been a devoted nurse. Tending to him everyday, every hour without fail. He looked forward to returning the favor. He smiles at her as she enters the room yet again. "And how is my beautiful flower today?"
 
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