Part 2 of 3.
#1 (Suggestion): Werewolf form has no weight, unless he weighs the same in that form as he does in his human form.
Not a whole lot else to change here. This would grow over play.
Referring to line: "A month after hearing the rumor he decided it was time that he brought great honor to his tribe and people."
#1 (Error): Timeline-wise, Amora would only be recruiting for maybe a month, tops, at the most. Probably closer to two weeks. It'd be better to have him have some sort of reason to be interested in the princess to hear about it early on.
#2 (Error): Overloading a bit. Pure magic is described as a discipline that takes years to master, enough time so as to basically ensure that mastery of non-related combat skills (eg: martial arts) would fall far behind one's peers. Maybe he is reasonably competent with a spear, but if he truly focused himself on magic, he wouldn't have had the time to become as good at spear combat as his peers are, or others beyond his peers. Switching to Hybrid may alleviate this, but only if he then focused all of his magic's expression through his spear.
#3 (Informational): His pheromones are similar in nature to some Free Holder slaver mages, and may elicit a highly revolting or even somewhat hostile response from those around him. He can keep it, and use it, but the consequences may be severe for doing so.
Final Recommendation: This sheet is fine, actually. Just polish it.
#1 (Suggestion): Add weight to your appearance description.
#2: (Informational): The favourite weapon of most Liverian Witch Hunters is the Crossbow, as a relatively silent long ranged weapon capable of penetrating armour. The bolts themselves can be modified with various properties to combat different types of creatures. (Eg: Silver.) You don't need to do this for your character, I just figured you might like to know.
#3 (Error): Minor correction, but most of the Liveria-Renalta civil war were indeterminate skirmishes. Liveria wasn't truly brought to its knees until near the end of the war, when the response to the Archduke of Renalta's son's death was to besiege Liveria's capital and kill its Crown-Prince and his daughter at the time.
Final Recommendation: Make a few small edits and this will be just fine!
NAME: Rahim, wanderer of the Longfang tribe
RACE: Human, mostly.
AGE: 19
SEX: Male
APPEARANCE: Rahim is a tall man, standing at 6'4 and weighing in at around 280 lbs. His build is like that of a brick shithouse, with the musculature and strength that can only be bred through a life of rigorous war and activity. His hair is a messy unkempt mane of shaggy brown, cut just below neck, and he sports a mess of similarly wild facial hair. His skin is tanned, with darker splotches that almost give off the appearance of being burnt. His eyes are green and deep, and his body is littered with the odd nick, burn, or scar. A ritualistic tattoo covers his back, shoulders, and neck; a warning to Amazonians that Rahim is a monster.
Rahim's transformed state is as one would expect of a Werewolf. His height becomes even more impressive, standing somewhere around 9-and-a-half feet and his bulk expands to the point of being terrifying. His brown hair becomes brown fur, which matts his entire body and his teeth and claws grow to become like small swords.
EQUIPMENT:
BLOODLINE: The Amazonians don't really value bloodlines. His grandmother served as a Chieftain once, which is nice. His blood is however tainted with a monstrous curse, that of Lycanthropy
- Rahim wears armours of leather-and-fur for the most part. It is light, and easy to replace, but only offers minimal protection from glancing blows.
- Rahim's weapon of choice is a large two-handed maul. Rahim's training in other weapon types is moderate-at-best, and he uses the maul to exemplify his outstanding strength; his only real redeeming quality as a 'fair' warrior.
- Rahim carries a very important artefact, an enchanted band that he ties around his arm. It is a sealing item, that stops him from transforming involuntarily. Taking it off is the first sign that Rahim intends to kill.
- Since leaving the clan, Rahim has learned some of the more 'normal' traditions of society; specifically some of Rheinfeld and Renaltan custom. He wears simple garbs when out travelling; the sort of thing a peasant or labourer would wear.
BIOGRAPHY: Rahim was born to a pair of Amazonians in the forest of his clan. His early existence was a simple enough affair, with nothing of particular note for the first decade of his life. He'd learned to fight young, and he'd killed his first Free Holder by the time he was eleven. It was a strange sensation for the over-young boy, but desperate wars inspire desperate acts.
His life was uneventful, until he was sixteen. By this point, the young Rahim had all but fully matured into the man he is today. He was tall, strong, and quick; even amongst his kin, and he'd earned many notches on his maul at that point in his skirmishes against the Free Holds. It was on a routine hunt for predators that he gained his cursed blood. A criminal from the Free Holds, already sick with the curse of Lycanthropy was atop one of his pack mates; an older girl that Rahim admitted once to having feelings for. The beast was feasting on the meat of her torn-out gut at this point, and Rahim was suddenly caught in the unusual grasp of fear that came so rarely to the Amazonians. When he was reeling backwards, caught in indecision, the beast heard the snapping of a twig and turned to face him. Rahim knew he could not outrun the beast, and so raised his maul to fight and to die. It would be an empty death, but he would try and make it a good one.
Of course, he did not die that day. He was a strong fighter, even then, and he won with the help of a distraction. The dead girl was perhaps not yet so dead, as she threw a javalin into the beast's back as it clamped its jaws around Rahim's shoulder. The surge of adrenaline had him throw the creature off of him, and he caved in the beast's skull with half-a-dozen blows of his maul. When the red mist died down, and when the burning pain in his shoulder started up, he collapsed. He awoke amongst his tribe, in the tent of the Longtooth's shaman.
His tribe saw what he had become, and they saw that he had fought to honour a fellow clansman. They willingly accepted him, curse and all, but the now-cursed Rahim insisted on a mark. He asked the Shaman to craft him a way to control the monster, and he asked an elf to tattoo him, a brand that would warn others of the monster he could be.
Years went by, and the story of the beast that hunted Freeholders in the forests circulated around the harsh Slavemasters. Stories of an Amazonian-leashed monster, like the stories from before the fall, had Slavers whisper twice about the profit of seeking their foes in the Longtooth clan's forest home. Still, even as he led a life of perpetual hunting, Rahim knew that the war was not a war they could win. To the Amazons, this was all-consuming life, but to the Free Holds this was just a petty, uncontrolled rebellion. They needed a way to break the inevitable cycle of non-success, and so Rahim left the forest, intending to find a solution. It was on this journey, outside of the forest, that he heard of the stories surrounding Amora Mann, and the legends of the Mage-Princess who wounded an Angel. If any people could find a way to turn the war in the tide of his people, it would be people found in this group.
SKILLS/TALENTS: Rahim is a monster, in both a literal sense and as a melee combatant. His role is to hit things, and occasionally he can track things. If things get more dangerous, he can unleash the literal beast, but with that comes certain risk.
STRENGTHS:
WEAKNESSES:
- Might makes Right - Rahim is not the most skillful fighter, nor is he the most talented fighter. He is, however, probably the strongest fighter. When it comes to hitting things, he hits them very hard. His maul is heavy, and his hit is heavier; caving in bone, brick, or metal if he gets a solid hit.
- Beast Mode, Activate! - In dangerous situations, Rahim is willing to remove the limiting magical armlet that stops him from becoming the Werebeast. On the occasion he does this, he can transform into a Werewolf; a very real and very potent monster. Doing so presents severe problems however, and is not his first port of call.
- Cursed Blood - Rahim's monstrous curse has some implications outside of his ability to become a giant murder-puppy. He shrugs off wounds that others might be stopped by, and can regenerate in minutes what would take others hours. His stamina is also more impressive than most, which is nice considering the curse's other 'gifts'.
- Uneducated, Uncivilised, Unusual - Rahim's not exactly a smart man. His formal education includes how to stab people who are bad, how to hunt things that are tasty, and what plants can't be eaten. Ask him to do math, or construct a plan, or read a book, and he'll just look at you with confusion. Add to that his hulking size and his unusual appearance and he probably isn't passing for a Rheinfelder peasant either.
- Beast Mode, deactivate!...Please? - Rahim's monstrous side is not easily controlled. He can control it to a certain extent, but then if he takes excessive damage or if he is extremely angry then he might give in to the animalistic rage that hungers for the blood of everything and anything. Certain emotive links have been shown to reduce the likelihood of a full-on meltdown. With moments of passion, or friendship, or even love, he might be able to curb the curse's hunger...might.
- The Curse of the Blood - Even if the curse offers some strange additional benefits to Rahim, it offers a myriad of negative effects as well. He is allergic to silver, certain plants and poisons are extra effective on him, and he can only eat meat.
SECTION THREE - CLOSING POINTS
MOTIVATION: Rahim is a motivated by his desire to end the stalemate of his homeland. He wants to crush the Free Holds hand that chokes out his people's freedom, and he sees the Princess and, to a lesser extent, Amora as a chance to forge an alliance that might end the Amazonian isolation.
GOALS: Rahim seeks the power to unify his people and end the Free Holds. He is a simple man otherwise, and the stories he's heard of the Renaltan land that would accept his people's beliefs and even him are enough to encourage him to help out the cause to find and rescue the Angel-wounding Mage-Princess.
VALUES: Rahim values strength, honour, and freedom above most anything. He respects his people's views on authority and spiritualism, and doesn't really understand a lot of the hatred people have for mages. They are convenient. Convenient is good.
ANATHEMAS: Rahim's anathemas are those of his people. He hates limitations of freedom, and he hates the idea of limiting someone's ability to be themselves. This obviously puts him in contention with Liverians to a certain extent, but more importantly it puts him diametrically - and murderously - opposed to the Free Holder perspective.
SIGNATURE: I, Limeypanda, being of sound body and mind do declare that I've signed more of these 'signatures' than I've probably signed other legal documents at this point.
SECTION FOUR - EXTRAS [tbc]
OPENING OPINIONS - A section for forming opening thoughts on characters; mostly NPCs at this early stage.
Amora Mann - Ex-Liverian Noble
"You lead such a mixed group, but you seem so cold and unreachable. How odd." (Confused, Respectful. Does not understand how Amora functions on any level except that he does.)Marcus Luke Crawford - Renaltan Ex-Royal guard
"Your sword arm looks strong, even compared to mine! I would like to fight you some time." (Excited, Respectful. Sees Marcus as an excellent test of his own strength and sees the lack of judgement in his eyes.)Emilia Lang Lehmann - Rheinfelder Assassin-and-Postergirl
"You move very quietly, like a large Cat at work. What do you look at me so much for?" (Confused, interested. Sees Emilia as an unusual contrast between his homeland's women and the women he normally sees outside of the Free-Hold/Amazonian War.)Noelle Touchard - Mage Collective's walking magical Bulwark
"Teach me about how your magic works. I would like to understand it more." (Respectful, Interested. Appreciates Noelle's obvious strength and femininity. It offers him reminders of home.)Anthony Bulgarelli - Free Holds' Dwarven Gunsmith
"Δώσε μου ένα λόγο... Θα σας δείξω ένα τέρας (Give me a reason... and I will show you a monster)" (Obvious Distrust and loathing. He sees Anthony as a liability and as a threat, and only resists the urge to murder him on the basis of the mission.)
Coming Soon...ish
Minor note - I've no confirmation that having a second character would work, nor do I even have any idea as to whether I'll be playing Rahim if multiple characters are allowed. This is mostly a thought-experiment and a bit of personal fan-service.[/spoiler]
#1 (Suggestion): Werewolf form has no weight, unless he weighs the same in that form as he does in his human form.
Not a whole lot else to change here. This would grow over play.
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-----PERSONAL-----
NAME: Bakar Ibaiguren
RACE: Lizardman
AGE: 37
SEX: Monogendered
APPEARANCE: If Nilum loved calling Lizardmen the frankenstein monster than Bakar is the perfect specimen of his kind. Standing 8’6 feet tall and weighing around 352 of mostly muscle, he stands tall and proud with his rough, pointy, green scales. His shoulders and tail shows several scars from where limbs had to be repaired after a long time’s worth of resting and eating. His tail is quite long in comparison to many others of his race, going out around 7 feet long at this point with long, bright red colored spines. On the back of his head are two long red fins that go from the sides of his forehead, down to end at his neck. Several small, dull spikes surround his eyebrows and jaw and between the two ‘fins’ they go down his back and tail.
EQUIPMENT:
- Weapons: Bakar utilizes his leaf-headed spear as his main weapon for battle with a simple curved, thick-bladed dagger as his side weapon.
- Armor: For his armor he wears leather armor. Not the leather armor like what you’d see in roleplay games, but rather small plates of leather tied together with small metal studs. Finally On the back of his leather armor are long, tall ‘wings’ with large black feathers upon them. Going up and curving backwards over his head, appearing like Polish hussar armors.
- Other: A small bag of warmstones, a whetstone, a watterskin, a large bag full of at least a month’s worth of Jerky should he ration properly, a shiney (shiny?) silver amulet with a purple gem on it, 3 gold coins, a pet beetle that likely fell in his simple leather satchel.
BLOODLINE: Tribal Lizardman…
BIOGRAPHY:
Like many stories of lizardmen, there once was a noble-man who was traveling with a small guard through the freeholds for one reason or another. And like many, many people before him he traveled on the wrong road at the wrong time, being overwhelmed by a band of marauders, led by an infamous lizardman that was taking advantage of all the chaos within the world at the moment. As the man’s guards fought valiantly and dutifully against the mixed group, he’s try (he tried?) to run, hoping that he’d be able to reach a point of safety. That is not how his story would end as Bakar’s father followed, trapping the man before taking his prize with a loud, bloodcurdling scream. While the two were alone in their ‘intimacy’.he was taken by the lizardman, forced to be Bakar’s mother.
A month later Bakar was born, born out of the blood of his male-mother who died as ‘she’ was in the process of transforming and birth. Bakar and 9 others would grow within their new family, a band of raiders and murderers. A largely diverse group. When his magical talent was discovered by another lizardman, a mage outcast of the swamp-tribe’s ancient art of poison magics.By the age of 4 he’d start his lessons in the magical arts with one of his brothers. By the age of 11 he’d start going on raids with the others, being used to hide and poison the towns or villages raided by them or to go through small areas to find hidden treasures for the marauders like the others. When he hit the age of maturity he got his first ‘prize’ and manages to spread his parasites, enjoying every moment as he ruthlessly and for a couple years that’s how his life was spent, in the countless raids or attacks he’d always try to capture at least one victim that he can breed with, forcing them to be his and lay his next of kin, in which he’d leave his victims to wander until they release his next of kin, not caring for the consequences of his actions. In time he’d receive a nice amulet from his father as a gift, being his ‘mother’s’ as a reminder of the noble his father captured and kept for his amusement.
Throughout his life he could say that he traveled around the lands of the freeholds, sometimes they’d go out but overall they stayed within the lawless lands, enjoying their life as they had some from the other races trade supplies within the cities. For the first time of his life he saw what a lizardman tribe looked like, amazed by the way they lived and that his own kind lived in such a community, having only ever knew the life of a traveling raider. And as they left he’d keep in mind exactly where the tribe was, wanting to see it again some-time.
Not even a few months passed as the Marauders decided to be daring, a highly risky operation that would grant them all the highest pay-out yet. With the help of 4 of the other most successful marauders in the land, they would attack a city for the first time, and topple down one of the black council, in which they’d replace with their own stronger leader. With an army of 15k (15,000) they traveled far, only to be met with 2 of the 5 groups of raiders to spontaneously turn, attacking the other 3 groups in an ambush. Feeling overwhelmed and confused by such a battle of great size, In the middle of poisoning someone he was hit on the head from behind by someone of his own tribe and fall into a mud filled ditch. He was out, cold, hidden in the mud his body rolled in. When he finally woke it was all over. His ‘tribe’ was gone, many dead in the grand battle but some bodies were missing like some of his siblings, and many of the other raider groups had major losses as well. A trap for power and there was no signs of a clear winner, only blood covered the ground. He was truly alone for the first time in his life.
So he traveled, making it to Rheinfeld. Alone and confused there he reached lands he never touched before, only to learn that the life outside of the freeholds was far more harsh for his kind. For 5 years eyes of distrust was always set upon him and soon he’d learn that he was a monster of society, detested, hated and treated like an outcast for simply being what he is. When trying to gather supplies he was met with a cold shoulder or to be told to go away, when he tried to ask for help he was simply ignored or had guards called onto him without reason. It didn’t take him long as to why they feared him so much, he was a rapist and breed by taking their lives away, just like what his father did to his mother. He was a monster in a world dominated by them. It was then that he learned that he will never have a place of respect in the cities.
By the age of 24 he was out alone, staying away from the cities and travelling west, as far west and alone, hiding from everything he could. Traveling to survive in hopes to find a new family and a new home. He was lost and confused. Eventually though, he was back into the freeholds and a couple months after, he reached the tribes, asking to be one of them and explaining what happened, that he was alone and had no family, and that he is lost, wishing to be a part of something greater and to live in peace with his own people. They accepted him with open arms, his new family was the forest tribe of the lizardmen. The tribe of Zutibor.
For the rest of his life he’d live with his own people, happily and enjoying his life with them as he found it to be a truly peaceful life. He’s ('d) learn more about his magic by the tribe’s shaman, learning to better hunt and utilize it as he mastered the art further. He learned how to truly fight with a spear and knife and how to hunt like they did. He learned how to fight like a true lizardman should and most importantly, he learned the honor his people had and the ways that they held so sacred. He would live on the near-outskirts of the tribe, loving to wander in the forests and gather herbs and poisons in it, learning to brew elixirs and tonics with the shaman, along with how to cure his poisons.
As he lived happily with his people, he’d feel at peace but thinking back to his life in Rheinfeld and how he was treated. Remembering how united the races were and thinking more on the fact that his own people were split apart in their tribes, he’d begin to ask questions about why they never united the tribes. A foolish idea and a clearly dangerous one, yet still he wondered and thought about it. Wondering how a state of lizardmen would be or better yet, how a life with united tribes would be like. He held onto it, loving it as much as he loved the tribe he was a part of. He wanted to live to see the day his people were one, a day where all races no longer looked at them with fear, but rather with honor and pride and a day where the tribes traded not only with themselves, but were important enough to trade with the other cities.
As time passed he decided it was finally time, after hearing from a lizardman marauder, just like he was, trading with his tribe peacefully he learned of a man named Amora Mann. A man looking for a princess of sorts who ruled over large, powerful lands at some point. A spark of hope was brought to him and an idea. A month after hearing the rumor he decided it was time that he brought great honor to his tribe and people. And with his final goodbyes and getting supplied with the help of his tribe, he’d leave off of a lie, that he was going to adventure out to find a mate and by honor and pride, win them over and bring her into the tribe to be one of them.
And so he left, both looking for such a mate so he didn’t lie to his people and to find the princess with this Amora Mann in a fool’s hope that she would help him and allow his people the freedom to be one and their own state. This time with all the lessons of his past, learning about the world he never knew or cared for until now, realizing that it was far more cruel, harsh and broken than anything he ever knew.
-----OPTION: MAGIC----
MAGIC CONCEPT: Path of the Venomous Snake ~ Tribal styled Poison Magic ~ This magic concept is mainly focused on the summoning and creation of poisons, toxins or corrosive slimes or the curing of a poisoned wound. Many spells rely on the use of his own body and few spells target his weapons or are formed from ‘nothing’.
SPELL EXAMPLES:
- Poison Spit: He is able to turn his saliva into a harmful poisonous slime that he can spit out, poisoning a target via skin-contact, blinding them as it irritates the target’s eyes and skin or to coat a weapon with poisonous effect of sorts.
- Toxic Cloud: Summons a large cloud of toxic green-yellow gas that, if breathed in can slowly cause internal damage to a target’s lungs, numb their muscles and make their body feel heavy so the target is ‘slowed’ in a sense or force them into a temporary coma, knocking them out for a long enough time to make an escape.
- Scales of the Viper: His scales are coated with a translucent slimy poisonous liquid which can be used to poison grappled enemies that his scales cut or the slime could irritate the skin of the grappled target which will then be affected by the poison as it quickly spreads to numb and paralyze the body before attacking the target’s organs.
- His Special Touch: This spell creates a red slime-like liquid to be formed on Bakar’s hands, allowing it to quickly weaken and damage organic or non-organic material such as armor, weapons, locks or wood in order to create more weak points within the touched object. Harmless to skin.
- Pheromones: Enhances Bakar’s body odor with a magical supplement, creating a sweet smelling invisible toxic gas around the lizardman. When those around him inhale the toxic fumes, their mind is affected slowly as they become more agreeable, less cautious and more willing to co-operate as they feel slightly at ease from the hypnotic, disorienting or hallucinogenic effects of the toxins in the air. This effect doesn’t last all too long-however, at most around about 10 minutes once the toxic gas is gone for the toxins to be cured by the body’s system.
- The Curing Lick: Bakar is able to magically turn his saliva into a hyper anti-venom, anti-toxin or a curing solution for poisons. When applied to the affected area via licking it or having his saliva digested, it will slowly cure the body of poisons, venoms or toxins. Of course the said poison must either have been created by him or by magical means, otherwise he must know the specific cure the the poison in order to magically turn his saliva into a cure for it.
STRENGTHS:
- Poison Magic: (See above)
- Hunter-Survivalist: Bakar learned from his time as a Mercenary and as a Tribe’s man how to find and hunt for food, how to find water, now to navigate and how to create temporary shelters in the wilderness of various types of terrain. He is an expert only in Forest and swamps however and moderately proficient in surviving other terrain types.
- Lizardman Martial arts: Bakar was taught how to properly wield and use a spear for combat and how to utilize terrain for and advantage in guerilla tactics. He’s especially trained in using his magic and body as one, using his large size, long tail and body to overwhelm while his poisons slowly take their effect, slowly weakening and killing his foes for him as he buys time.
- Lizard of the Wilds: Bakar spent a bit of his time practicing his magic through hunting or wandering the wilderness around his tribes, keeping himself in the peak of physical fitness in the process by constantly running, carrying heavy game that he caught and more. Thus making him a very big and fast lizard.
- Herbs & Apothecary: He has an interest in learning how to identify certain plants that can help or harm the body and turning those plants into cures, tonics, teas and the like, wanting to help more and learn ways to better help others. What he doesn’t know he’ll happily test to learn more.
WEAKNESSES:
- Shy and Silent: When dealing with other races, he learned to keep his head down, staying silent and keeping himself at a distance. He’d give short responses but nothing more, almost completely distant in this regard and will try his best to stay all but completely hidden from those he’s supposed to be allied with, work for or accompany. Afraid of the worst after living it before. In major cities or large towns he’d even feel a bit of anxiety. (Other Lizardmen in the other-hand calms him down a bit.)
- Gross: His magical talents are… abnormal at best. Slimes, mucus-like substances and more that he’d let cover his body and even spit out. It adds up when you learn how he uses his magical prowess. To make matters worse is that sometimes he leaves the stuff on him or taking extreme measures to take it off, leaving him needing a river or lake all the more.
- Curious: He is still learning much about the world and while that may not seem like a bad thing, it can cause him to take major lapses in judgement or common sense which tends to get him into serious trouble unintentionally, especially since he never once lived within the civilized world and only ever knew of his tribes and being a mercenary during his upbringing.
- Passive: Despite his magic, he would rather not want to kill people and instead would prefer to use non-lethal or even possibly diplomatic methods in order to solve situations. This is another weakness because it makes him hesitate when he shouldn’t or let major threats go to lick their wounds and come back another day. (That said, he CAN kill when absolutely needed.)
-----BACKEND-----
MOTIVATION: There are two reasons why Bakar wished to join this journey. The first is to be a hero to his people, bringing honor to their name for all to see. The second is that with the Princess returned to her rightful throne, she’ll help protect his people and allow him to unite the lizardman tribes.
GOALS: Besides what’s mentioned in his motivation, he’d simply like to learn more about the world and find a mate that’d accept him and allow him to breed with. Maybe make friends and allies with people outside of his tribe.
VALUES: He values the ability to fend for the self and the ability to survive alone, being a survivalist himself. He does hold up to a relatively loose code of honor and looks up to those who uphold stricter codes. He values learning and finds it good to be curious and ask about everything possible in the world he only just began to discover. He values a foolish idea of bettering his people and them becoming a united people, working with the other countries rather than being alone and growing as a proud, honorable and praised people rather than fearsome rape-monsters. He values silence and appreciates long quiet moments where he can gather up his thoughts or focus on interests that he have. Finally he values friendship and acceptance the most.
ANATHEMAS: He finds large cities to by crowded and confusing, sometimes to the point of getting anxiety. He dislikes loud noises, finding it distracting and despises closed, close spaces. His past experiences with other races lead him not being too trusting with them and would often distance himself to stay out of their ways. He doesn’t fully understand the desire for material things, finding such frivolous spending on things without worth to be annoying as he prefer the more simplistic lifestyle.
SIGNATURE: Drakel
Referring to line: "A month after hearing the rumor he decided it was time that he brought great honor to his tribe and people."
#1 (Error): Timeline-wise, Amora would only be recruiting for maybe a month, tops, at the most. Probably closer to two weeks. It'd be better to have him have some sort of reason to be interested in the princess to hear about it early on.
#2 (Error): Overloading a bit. Pure magic is described as a discipline that takes years to master, enough time so as to basically ensure that mastery of non-related combat skills (eg: martial arts) would fall far behind one's peers. Maybe he is reasonably competent with a spear, but if he truly focused himself on magic, he wouldn't have had the time to become as good at spear combat as his peers are, or others beyond his peers. Switching to Hybrid may alleviate this, but only if he then focused all of his magic's expression through his spear.
#3 (Informational): His pheromones are similar in nature to some Free Holder slaver mages, and may elicit a highly revolting or even somewhat hostile response from those around him. He can keep it, and use it, but the consequences may be severe for doing so.
Final Recommendation: This sheet is fine, actually. Just polish it.
NAME: Barrett Ironforge
RACE: Dwarf
AGE: 33
SEX: Male
APPEARANCE: He’s on the taller side for dwarves, standing a full 4’7, and though his body is normally covered by armor, when in casual clothes one can see that he has a musculature to match his rigorous training. His hair is blonde, kept short and naturally swooping up and to the left, while his beard is traditionally long. His eyes are a deep blue, accentuated by the tan coarseness of his skin.
View attachment 1700
EQUIPMENT: He’s dressed in full dwarven plate armor. No helmet as he never saw the point in obscuring his vision just for more protection. His reinforced steel shield has Liveria’s national symbol. His favorite weapon is his battle axe, which he wields in tandem with the shield, though he keeps a Warhammer on hand in case blunt force is necessary. What people never see until it’s too late is the hidden blade he had forged into his right gauntlet for assassinations
BLOODLINE: Liverian Witch Hunter/War Veteran
BIOGRAPHY: Barrett was born a peasant in Liveria and was only a child when the civil war between Liveria and Renalta broke out. Instilled with a firm patriotic belief in his nation, he signed on to serve in the army when he was old enough and fought on the losing side of the civil war for nearly a decade, watching friends and allies fall left and right. His dwarven blood combined with his natural talent for fighting helped him survive, but the losses of his friends has made it harder for him to truly open his heart to others anymore.
After the war, a 23-year-old Barrett was recruited into the Liverian Witch Hunters for his tenacity, patriotism, and loyalty to the cause. He took to his training in espionage quite well. Despite his gruff nature, he has a very amiable personality. This makes people want to talk to him, thus making attaining information much easier for him. It also helped that he looked like a soldier, not a spy. It decreased his suspicion.
After 10 years and a very successful early career in the Witch Hunters, Barrett was called before the crown prince of Liveria and given a crucial task. A rumor had spread that a former noble of Liveria, one Amora Mann, was openly declaring that he is recruiting a mercenary band to find the lost princess of Renalta. Barrett’s mission was to join this mercenary band and use his mage hunting skills to help find the princess, as a show of Liveria’s good faith and wish to make true peace with Renalta. This was merely a cover however, his true reasons for being asked to join this adventure are far more ambiguous.
----OPTION: MUNDANE----
SKILLS/TALENTS:
Living Tank – Barrett’s early life in the military taught him a very valuable lesson. Be able to take a hit from your enemies and hit them back even harder. Combining his heavy armor with his dwarven adrenaline for blood, he can dive into the fray, cutting enemies to ribbons, and stay a dominant force on the battlefield for hours at a time.
Casual Spy – His amiable nature makes him approachable, and his soldier background steers suspicion away from the thought that he might be a spy. This leads people to be more open with Barrett, allowing him to ascertain pertinent information much more easily than other Witch Hunters.
Mage Killer – His specialized training in the Witch Hunters has helped him become adept at hunting down mages. His armor and shield have been custom forged to resist magic, so that a head on attack will be more likely to turn in his favor. Though he prefers the more silent approach. He gains their trust, or catches them by surprise, and ends their life quickly with a strike from his hidden blade.
STRENGTHS:
Loyalty – He’s been in service to his country since he was a teenager. Anyone who shares his devotion to Liveria will have earned a comrade for life.
Empathetic – He’s lost much in his brief time on this world. As such he’s grown adept at helping others cope with loss. He’s an excellent shoulder to cry on if one ever needs sympathy.
Strength – Those muscles aren’t just for show. A superior officer once said that Barrett had the ‘strength of an Ox’. If you ever need help with something heavy, he’s the man to come to.
WEAKNESSES:
Shrewd and Cold – if there’s an aspect of your character that he doesn’t find acceptable or worth his time, prepare to receive the silent treatment. Barrett has no time for fools.
Graceless – He is a dwarf after all. His short and stocky body isn’t very dexterous. Ask him to perform a nimble feat and he’ll more often make an ass of himself.
Magic Discrimination – being a Witch Hunter, his disdain for magic runs deep within him. Mages beware, you shall not have a good time conversing with Barrett.
-----BACKEND-----
MOTIVATION: Barrett is here because it was asked of him by his prince. The events that transpire on this adventure have the potential to alter the world’s course forever, and he would gladly lay down his life to ensure the world turns in Liveria’s favor.
GOALS: Barrett is a soldier, first and foremost. His life has been dedicated to serving his country, and he shall continue to do so until his dying breath.
VALUES: He respect’s loyalty to a person’s country, whether it be Liveria or a foreign area. A good fighter will always earn a nod of approval. Cunning is also a trait he holds value in, the smart survive, and the stupid get themselves killed.
ANATHEMAS: Magic first and foremost, all mages will earn the stink eye from him. Poor liars are quick to be cut down by his blade, or if they’re an ally, receive a verbal tongue lashing. Traitors are high on his list of things he despises and finally the ignorant can go rot.
SIGNATURE: I, jrusso20, sacrifice this character as tribute
#1 (Suggestion): Add weight to your appearance description.
#2: (Informational): The favourite weapon of most Liverian Witch Hunters is the Crossbow, as a relatively silent long ranged weapon capable of penetrating armour. The bolts themselves can be modified with various properties to combat different types of creatures. (Eg: Silver.) You don't need to do this for your character, I just figured you might like to know.
#3 (Error): Minor correction, but most of the Liveria-Renalta civil war were indeterminate skirmishes. Liveria wasn't truly brought to its knees until near the end of the war, when the response to the Archduke of Renalta's son's death was to besiege Liveria's capital and kill its Crown-Prince and his daughter at the time.
Final Recommendation: Make a few small edits and this will be just fine!