The Vampire's Apprentice

"I like to think of it as living as I am not technically dead, either, but I see your point," Clancy said calmly. "Hmm, I keep going because I enjoy life too much to let other people ruin things for me."
 
"Of course I did at first, but then I realized that resentment got me nowhere and was a highly inefficient use of my energy," Clancy shrugged. "There was no changing things, things were what they were, so I made use of it instead of moping about it."
 
Clancy hesitated then finally shrugged. "In truth, I do not know the reason from the lips of the vampire who turned me, but I believe it was simply to see if he could turn me. Then he left me to die."
 
Clancy stiffened only a little when she leaned on him then relaxed. He didn't say anything for several long, silent seconds. "Eventually, yes," he finally admitted. "It was two or maybe three weeks before I was not feeling... delusional. Like everything was some kind of hallucination I was suffering from. Two people died before I could control myself, good people, friends of mine, but I was so hungry. So hungry. No human could ever understand that level of hunger."
 
"Yes, if you want to," Clancy said calmly. "Sometimes that understanding is understanding that there is no answer. That can be the most difficult thing to accept, the idea that there is no underlying mean, no overarching scheme, just a thing that happened. If you choose to fight against it, you can, but if you allow yourself, you will come to a level of acceptance."
 
Kitty didn't know how to reply to that. She decided after a moment that she didn't have to.

"Why do you put up with me?" As the third question she had to ask for the night. "It seems like you were fine before. Had... undeath going for you and all that. Calloused cynicism can't be all of you, seeing as I'm still very much alive right now. Selfishness, too. You called yourself that, but it doesn't sound right. It doesn't."
 
"Hmm." He considered her question for a bit. "Even the most solitary creature can become lonely after a time, and when the world ceases to hold any luster in the eyes of the beholder, it is good to find new eyes to witness the world through. Someone younger, less caloused, and curious. There is always something new to be learned, but it can get buried under all the sameness the world offers." He glanced at her and smiled wanly. "I supose you are my... how do they say... rose tinted glasses?"
 
"Is it working?" She pulled herself upright again to look at him. Her smile was implied, though it never actually slipped through to her expression. "Do you feel like you see something new?"
 
Kitty studied him, examining his sincerity thoroughly; gaze flicking between his hazel eyes. "That wasn't the question."
 
Kitty sighed. "I suppose, if you think it does." It still wasn't an answer to the question, but at least it landed closer. That was enough, she supposed, as long as the thought was conveyed, and as long as it was later mused on. "I think it's late, so perhaps I'll crawl into bed. Unless you have anything else?"
 
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