- Pronouns
- They/them
Desmond, unlucky Desmond, started talking. Ziessel had never been so horrified in her life. Not even with Gabriel. She had been there when he died, she had said her goodbyes. She didn't want to believe the words coming out of this man's mouth. This stranger, turned reaper, who she would probably never be able to unsee as the bearer of catastrophe. She slowly leaned forward as he kept going, her hands resting on the table. Then they tensed up, then she had a full body shiver and shifted the tips of her fingers. It was easy, she did it often to have access to claws, even if her regular nails were already sharp. But Desmond just wouldn't shut up. Silently, she was begging for him to stop. To stop naming her friends as family. Her claws scraped against the table and she stood up, shrugging off Xandre's words. She had barely heard him. Their second hadn't been speaking loudly, but she just couldn't register anything else. The squeeze though? It eased some of the tension in the moment.
Oh, he was done. FUCKING FINALLY. He was done naming names, naming corpses they may never even see. She turned around sharply and grabbed the back of the chair, picking it up. Days after days shadowing Salem, from the moment she was a just turned puppy to decades later. He gave her a chance despite her departure. He trained her for this fatidic moment. But he didn't warn her about the emptiness she'd feel. No more afternoons reading at Starmugs, no more lapsang and gunpowder tea evenings while they worked, or tending to silly paper cuts. No more nights watching historically inaccurate movies on his couch while his cat, Witch, waged a never ending war against the TV's cable.
She smashed the chair against the floor and lifted it again. No more training with Thomas and Ginny, or watching them grow into fully fledged members. Or telling them stories at the bar. They had come visit them to the penitentiary, bright eyed and bushy tailed. Bringing gossip and news. Proud to have gotten away with most of the Nyx.
She smashed it down, and picked it up again. The legs of the chair made a crunching sound and part of one broke off. No more little sparring contests with Nieve or ANYONE ELSE at the Den. No more. She lifted the damn chair and threw it at the nearest wall. It's structure, the chairs', did not survive the crash.
"Fuck you... PleaSe, I'm going to ask this once, please tell me this isn't ... Fuck... You said so many names..." She whined, bringing her hands up to her face and then crouching where she stood and getting very very quiet. She didn't cry. But she did claw at the sides of her face to try and drown out the overwhelming everything all at once-ness with pain. It'd heal, she was fast at that. She wanted to go back to a cell and never come out. Wanted to unhear and unknow all of this. Please. She had never wanted anything more in her life. Not even with Gabriel. If there was a god, now was the time.
Oh, he was done. FUCKING FINALLY. He was done naming names, naming corpses they may never even see. She turned around sharply and grabbed the back of the chair, picking it up. Days after days shadowing Salem, from the moment she was a just turned puppy to decades later. He gave her a chance despite her departure. He trained her for this fatidic moment. But he didn't warn her about the emptiness she'd feel. No more afternoons reading at Starmugs, no more lapsang and gunpowder tea evenings while they worked, or tending to silly paper cuts. No more nights watching historically inaccurate movies on his couch while his cat, Witch, waged a never ending war against the TV's cable.
She smashed the chair against the floor and lifted it again. No more training with Thomas and Ginny, or watching them grow into fully fledged members. Or telling them stories at the bar. They had come visit them to the penitentiary, bright eyed and bushy tailed. Bringing gossip and news. Proud to have gotten away with most of the Nyx.
She smashed it down, and picked it up again. The legs of the chair made a crunching sound and part of one broke off. No more little sparring contests with Nieve or ANYONE ELSE at the Den. No more. She lifted the damn chair and threw it at the nearest wall. It's structure, the chairs', did not survive the crash.
"Fuck you... PleaSe, I'm going to ask this once, please tell me this isn't ... Fuck... You said so many names..." She whined, bringing her hands up to her face and then crouching where she stood and getting very very quiet. She didn't cry. But she did claw at the sides of her face to try and drown out the overwhelming everything all at once-ness with pain. It'd heal, she was fast at that. She wanted to go back to a cell and never come out. Wanted to unhear and unknow all of this. Please. She had never wanted anything more in her life. Not even with Gabriel. If there was a god, now was the time.