How Green Becomes Wood

"I really liked getting to put life into something. For a long time it was all I had. Rats only live two to three years, and I started gardening before adopting Enkidu. So I began with Neith and my garden. She's older than you are, did you know that? Female tarantulas can live thirty years. And Neith is the goddess of creation, wisdom, weaving, and war. But the garden reminds everyone of how things come and go in their season." She inhaled deeply to smell all of the night blooming flowers and then exhaled. She was far calmer than she was when she went off to be alone, "Is the moon out?"
 
Alec looked up and searched around. "I don't think so, but it shouldn't be much longer," he told her. "It's growing later by the second. Maybe it is and I can't see it because a tree is blocking my view. Shall I tell you if I spot it?"
 
"I'd like it if you did." She replied, and stopped walking when she heard to the shed closed, because she knew in just a moment Dark would be coming up behind her, which of course he did, and she couldn't quite resist squeaking when he put his arm around her waist, "What took you so long?"

"It has only been a few minutes," Dark replied, kissing her cheek, "Alec and I were talking about the nursery, he suggested 'Bambi meets Victorian Elegance,'"

"That's an interesting idea... Oh," She spun in towards him, "I made dessert. Or, I'm going to. I have everything set out and ready," She looked over her shoulder at Alec, "We can eat it outside, so you can point out the moon to me. And if there's a glow around it. It's called a hala."
 
"Alright, that sounds really nice," Alec agreed. "What desert are we - you - making?" He headed for the house, occasionally trying to spy the moon. He caught a glimmer of what he thought might be it, but the neighbor's roof was in the way.
 
"Don't worry, I'm not going to overexert myself making dessert." She went inside, with Dark following behind her, and in the kitchen and spooned a strawberry mixture she had already made into three narrow glasses she had put graham cracker crumbs on the bottom of, and then added one scoop of vanilla ice cream followed by a scoop of lemon sorbet, before adding more of the strawberries and then the slightest amount of whipped cream on top. Then she sprinkled some more graham cracker crumbs on top, "There, see? Just a little ice cream sorbet, minimum effort."
 
"That is really pretty!" Alec said in awe. "Please don't make me one, I'm not hungry and wouldn't enjoy it, but it looks so pretty. Does it have a name?" He bent over so he could be at eye level with the delicacy, watching how the colors worked together perfectly.
 
"It's just an ice cream parfait, I don't think there's a fancier name," Daizi replied smiling, handing one to Dark, who thanked her for it, before putting the ice cream containers back in the freezer.

"Do you want to go back outside?" Dark asked, standing.

"I do. Are you coming, Alec? You don't have to if you'd rather be alone."
 
"Thank you for the invitation, but I think I'd rather be by myself for a bit," Alec told her. "Don't forget to find the moon!" he reminded Dark. He felt a little guilty turning down the parfait, but when he thought about eating it, his stomach squeezed painfully. He just didn't want it. Maybe later. He was grateful neither of them had pushed even gently.
 
"Okay, well, if you need us, you know where we'll be," She said, "try to get some rest, you've had a busy day."

Then she and Dark went outside and sat on their little bench, and when it was just the two of them in the night air, with their little icecream cups, it felt so much easier to be calm about everything. Daizi shared with him some of the concerns she had realized she had been holding in during the time she was desperately trying to not think about Xander, when of course she could only end up thinking about him. And they both could move on, at least temporarily, and not have their whole night be ruined by their fears.
 
Alec sat on his bed in his room wrapped up in a blanket, watching the clock. It was a nice little analog clock with a second hand that ticked, ticked, ticked away the time. Tick. Tick. Tick. It was so aggravating! And yet, he couldn't look away. It was counting down the time until Xander returned. He gripped the blanket tighter as the room darkened. The walls felt like they were gradually creeping inward, chasing away the light. He huddled in deeper, seeking the comfort of the blankets. It was all in his head. It couldn't keep going like this, could it? It had to stop eventually! It had to!

He dozed off sometime around ten, only to startle himself awake half an hour later as he started falling sideways. He got himself propped against the wall and allowed himself to close his eyes. He couldn't lay down. That was too vulnerable. Laying down could wait until after Xander got home. Apparently, sleep could wait, too as he only caught a few fitful moments of it while he waited. It seemed to drag the time on. He checked the clock every time he opened his eyes, sleeping even less once the clock reached 11.

11:00
11:07
11:32
11:40
11:49
11:59

Alec sat up, hid breath catching. It was almost midnight! He was going to be home soon! He strained his ears, trying to hear. Midnight! Then a minute past. Then two minutes. Five. Seven.

A car pulled up out front, and a car door opened and then slammed. Alec leaped out of bed and dashed for the bedroom door. He stopped at the top of the stairs, listening.

Xander, still singing one of the band's songs, swayed his way up to the front door and opened it, half stumbling inside. Home at last!
 
When they realized it was getting close to when Xander would be expected home, Dark and Daizi went back inside. They normally stayed up a bit past midnight, so it wasn't difficult for them (although Daizi was privately grateful she had napped earlier, and was frustrated the baby made it so hard for her to just live her life some days), and when Xander came inside, they got up to welcome him home.

"How was the concert?" Dark asked, locking the door behind the teen.
 
"It was so awesome!" Xander nearly fell over trying to pull off his shoes. He grumbled and finally got them off before touching the salt and spilling a little. "Absolutely awesome! They did Down with the Sickness and their cover of Sound of Silence. Epic!" His voice was a little louder than necessary.

"Are you drunk?" Alec asked from the top of the stairs.

Xander looked up. "What?"

"I said," Alec came down the stairs, "are you drunk? Or drugged?"

Xander snorted and weaved over to the nearest chair. "My legs are shot, ya dope, I'm not drunk or drugged."

Alec tapped his ear. "You are deaf."

"What? Oh." Xander pulled out the earplugs. "I forgot. I had the earplugs in the whole time. And you were right about the sound, Daizi."
 
Dark, who was also a bit concerned Xander had come home drunk, was relieved to learn he wasn't, "I am glad you had fun. I love going to concerts, it has been a few years."

"Thank you for wearing them for me," Daizi smiled, and went to get him a cup of water, because she could hear him stumbling and knew his throat was probably scratchy because everyone screams at a concert like that, "and I told you. It cuts down on everyone's screaming and--well, you know. And in twenty years you will still be able to hear the music at the concerts."
 
Xander groaned and stretched out before taking the cup. "Thanks. It was one of my best nights ever. It was so awesome!"

Alec came over and sat next to him. "I'm glad you had fun. We missed you."

Xander grinned and draped an arm around his shoulders. "Maybe you can come next time. We'll go to something you like."

Alec smiled, practically glowing as he snuggled under Xander's arm. "Did Declan mention where he got the tickets so late?"

"Some dude he met had just had a fight with his girlfriend and broke up, but he'd already bought the tickets for them and their two pals. So he sold two of them to Declan for a steal just to get something back." Xander yawned and thumped his head back. "So tired."
 
"Then go to bed, sweetheart," Daizi said sweetly, "we can talk more about it in the morning." She took the now empty cup back from him and rubbed the side of her belly where her ligaments gave her the most trouble.

"We should probably all head to bed," Dark murmured, looking at his wife. Then he looked Xander up and down in the dim light, "Your hair looks good."
 
Xander looked up, surprised he'd noticed it. "Oh, thanks. Declan said he needed a trim, too, so we stopped and got it done. Feels pretty good."

Alec stood and tugged on his hand. "Come on, let's go to bed. I'm tuckered out."

Xander groaned but forced his legs to function. "You know they had everyone standing on concrete? For hours! Concrete really wears a-" He was interrupted by a yawn. He let Alec lead him upstairs, half leaning on him as they made their way up to bed. Xander barely had the energy to change as he came down from the concert high. He flopped down and was out like a light in seconds. Alec climbed into bed with him, nestling up against his brother, finally feeling secure. The missing piece had returned. Now he could rest.
 
Dark suggested they go to bed too, but Daizi felt, for no good reason, very awake. Maybe it was the moon, maybe it was the safe return of her kid, but she found herself energized and wasn't going to question it. And she knew the twins were going to be asleep the moment their heads hit the pillow, so when she respectfully made these points, Dark politely agreed to not question it either.
 
The next few days developed a terrible pattern. Declan started coming by every day, and every day, Xander went out with him. Alec went out once when it was just supposed to be a small party with Declan and some friends of his, but when they returned, he went straight to his room, closed the door, and refused to talk about it. Xander was a complete loss, swearing up and down that Alec had never left his side. And he hadn't, but the sheer stress of the event had driven him to such anxiety that he wanted nothing more to do with Declan after that. Xander had seemed hesitant for a short while, but when Declan offered to take him to the skate park, he was gone again. Xander spent more time with Declan or at least in Declan's vicinity as Declan did work or similar nearby than he did with the rest of the family. All he thought about was the next time he could get away. Declan had offered him a version of freedom, building up an idea within his mind of what he had versus what he could have, and Xander wanted nothing more than to grab it. He had a vague plan brewing in his head, but did he dare go through with it? He still wasn't sure. He didn't want to leave Alec behind or to really hurt Dark and Daizi, but he also really, really wanted what Declan was dangling before his nose, blinding him to all else with its glitter and shine.

For his part, Alec waited. And waited. And waited. He waited for Xander to get home each evening, his own interactions with Dark and Daizi growing sparse. He waited in fear for the next time Xander left. He waited for the day his brother wouldn't come home. He stopped eating, though he did his best to hide the fact. Food hurt his stomach and made him feel sick. He didn't sleep well. It was a dramatic change in only a few days, but the worst changes usually were. He just wanted things to be better. But they weren't going to get better magically. He was avoiding Dark and Daizi a lot, too, fretful and nervous and seeming ready to break at the first wrong word.

Xander lay on the couch that morning, foot tapping the air as he listened to music on his headphones. For once, Declan hadn't made plans with him that day, and he was trying to decide what he wanted to do. He looked even more a mess than usual as he hadn't bothered to change out of last night's clothes.

Alec sat across the room, curled up in one of the chairs, idly drawing lines in his sketchpad. He didn't look at his brother, seeming to be entirely focused on his project.
 
Dark and Daizi noticed the change that came over the house, they noticed how often Declan was coming over, and they knew. They knew it was destroying Alec, they absolutely knew he was hardly eating, but they hadn't really figured out how to get him to start eating more. Well, they knew it would probably help if Xander stopped hanging out with that man so much, but there was nothing they could do about that, because forbidding him would only strain their relationship with Xander more.

And it didn't help Daizi had reached 20 weeks, which meant she was stressed and frightened for reasons unrelated to this unwanted interloper. Every day she woke up in fear that it would be the day something went wrong, and she kept thinking about how stress in pregnancy increases the risk of preterm labor, and she knew she was more stressed out than she probably had ever been. At least once a day she would break down in tears, mostly at work, and she was grateful to be close with her coworkers, who were very understanding of everything. And she was glad to be crying there and not at home, because at least then the twins wouldn't know. She was pretty sure Xander would not care, he was too busy having fun--and really, at her core, despite all of her fears, she was glad he was having fun, which made it all so much harder, because she was seeing, vividly, that Xander was happier with Declan than he was with her. And she wanted for him to be happy--and safe--but she was worried he'd leave altogether. Not when he was still a teenager, but that when he'd turn 18, he'd pack up all of his things, and walk out of her life for good, because for everything she desperately tried to provide, there were some things she'd never be able to, and she feared Declan valued those things. And it would probably kill Alec, he would probably simply expire, and then they would both be gone.

And Dark just spent more time in his shed. When Daizi was home, he'd still spend a lot of time with her, because they felt stronger and more secure as a team. They needed each other's strength. He was anxious about the baby too, and he also woke up in fear every day, and probably annoyed Daizi half to death with how often he was asking how she was feeling and if she had felt the baby move at all. He was at a loss with what to do with the twins. He hadn't come to the same realization about what Declan's presence could mean long term that Daizi did, and he never cried over it, but because he needed to do something with his emotions he was always cleaning, or decluttering, and always in his shed working on the crib and the cradle, or always doing something. Enkidu was being brushed and ran constantly, but he wasn't really loving it, because he could feel the tension, too.

It was the last week of June, and the weather was beautiful. They had experienced some hot spikes (which Daizi did not love, considering her condition), but that particular day was lovely, and Dark walked past them, once more headed to his shed after coming inside, "I made lemonade," he said, "and you should sit outside, do not waste the weather."
 
Alec started a little when Dark walked in. "Okay," he said automatically, starting to get up.

Xander snorted. "Why not? You waste it stuck in that shed all day," he pointed out.

Alec hesitated, half up, and stared between Dark and Xander. "It is nice outside," he said meekly.
 
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