How Green Becomes Wood

"Goodnight," Dark said, bent down to pet Enkidu, and then went upstairs, his dog quickly following up after him. After his footsteps couldn't be heard any longer, Daizi took a deep breath and went into the kitchen to make a cup of tea before she went up to get ready for bed as well.

"All things considered, that went better than it might have." She said as she switched the kettle on and went to fetch a mug. He clearly wasn't doing great, but he had enjoyed parts of his day and sometimes that was the best anyone could hope for.
 
"I don't know." Daizi confessed, turning towards her son, "I don't know the dates of everything that happened around this time twenty-five years ago. I don't even know if he knows. Five years ago, the twentieth anniversary, there were just specific days that were hard and the rest of the time he's more like himself. I know he didn't arrive in the United States until January, after his birthday. Or, what he decided was his birthday."
 
"Oh. That's sad," Alec said softly. "But... it's twenty-five years ago, and he's been in therapy and had a loving family for so many years now. Surely it won't hit that hard, right?"

"Don't worry, Mama," Xander said, gently pushing Alec aside. "We'll look after him. And you. And Ivy. We'll pull together because that's what families do."
 
"Grief is weird." Daizi said, taking a slow sip of her tea, "I really wish I could tell you with total certainty what to expect, but I can't. I'm sorry. But it'll be okay. We've got so many amazing things on the horizon, and Xander's right, if it is hard for him, we'll pull together. We'll just take it day by day."
 
"I'm fine," Alec assured her. "I am not worried. Well, a little bit, but it feels like the appropriate amount to be worried."

"Same," Xander agreed. "It seems better than last time, at least. Not as hard and heavy. I think things will be okay."
 
"It is better than last time, I think. But last time was different. We had all been overloaded with so much then, neither of us were sleeping and he didn't predict he'd find it so hard to go back to work. This isn't like that. I meant what I said the other day, that's I'm not scared for him."
 
Alec went over and hugged her, careful of her tea. "I'm not scared for him either, Mama. It'll be alright! And we are prepared and far more energized. We'll be through this before you know it!"

"Maybe not before we know it," Xander replied, "but I bet it won't be so bad."
 
Carefully setting down her tea so she could hug him with both arms, she rubbed his back and said, "We are prepared for the worst, but we can all trust it won't get there. It'll be okay." She kissed Alec's head and let him go, "Now, I'm just going to finish my tea, then I also have to go to bed. Your sister never sleeps in and if anyone is energized, it's her."
 
Alec squeezed her gently and took a moment to enjoy the hug before stepping away. "Okay. We should get to bed, too. See you in the morning!"

Xander followed Alec up, heading to their room and bed. The best thing they could do for their parents right now, he figured, was to take care of themselves and not get into any trouble. That would probably help more than anything else. That and occasionally taking Ivy off their hands, but that would mostly be up to Alec.
 
After she finished her tea, Daizi handwashed her cup, set it to dry, and then went upstairs. "Hey Goose," she said, shutting the door behind her. "You still awake?"

"Please do not ask me how I am doing." Dark said with a heavy sigh, pushing himself up into a seated position.

"Okay, I won't." Daizi promised, though that was exactly what she had planned to do and they were stuck sitting in awkward silence while she sat down to brush her hair, trying to think of something else to say. "I didn't expect Cooger's fishing pole trick to actually work."

"I am fine."

Swiveling slightly towards him, Daizi smiled softly and said, "I know, Goose."

Dark watched her face carefully, "You do not believe me."

"I do."

"No, you do not."

Sitting in silence for a few moments, they both considered what to say next and ultimately Daizi confessed, "No, I do not."

Dark roughly rubbed his hands over his face and stood up, walking around the room for a few moments.

"Are you mad at me?" Daizi asked quietly.

"No."

"It kind of seems like you're at me."

"I'm not. I'm not, I just---" He groaned, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment with his forehead pressed against the bedpost of their canopy bed, "I forgot, Daizi. I forgot what day it was. Everybody else knew, everybody else remembered, but I forgot. It was just another day for me. If Xander hadn't off-handedly mentioned it was the 8th, I would not have known. It has been twenty five years. It has been a quarter of century. It was one of the worst days of my life, the day everything changed, and I forgot it."

Shaking her head, Daizi gently said, "You didn't forget."

"I did."

"Your body remembered," She pointed out, standing and walking towards him. She leaned against one of the bed posts, unknowingly echoing his stance, "You haven't been sleeping well this week and you said yourself you felt weird when you woke up. You knew. Even if you didn't know you did."

Dark swallowed, taking a few steps nearer to her so he could lean against her instead of the post. "It has been twenty-five years."

"I know," She murmured, rubbing his back.

He didn't cry, just leaned against her for awhile, not knowing what to say or how he felt. The only thing he did know was he was so tired. So much more tired than he had realized. His bones were exhausted. "I am sorry," he said at last, wrapping his arms around her and squeezing her gently, "I did not mean to be annoyed with you."

"I forgive you, Goose."

Eventually they parted, promising their love for each other, and Dark crawled back in bed while Daizi finished her nighttime routine before getting into bed and snuggling up to him and falling asleep. The last thing she recalled was his hand still holding hers against his chest.
 
Sunday passed by quietly, but not without some bright spots as Xander and Alec chose to play in the music room and mess around, something they hadn't really done in some time. They also helped out in the garden and looked after Ivy some, doing what they could to ease Daizi's burdens and therefore help Dark without hovering. No one liked hovering.

Monday was back to school with Alec frantically finishing up homework that was due, having completely forgotten to do it the day before. He managed to get it all done and relatively well done, too, just in time. Xander had his all done by Friday evening, and therefore had no rushed homework problems at all thanks to not procrastinating. A fact he chose not to mention to Alec as they headed into their first class of the day. Stress was punishment enough, and Alec couldn't help being easily distracted.
 
On Sunday, after privately discussing it with Daizi while the twins were up in the music room, Dark sent Tristan a quick text to explain they'd like to call him to talk about a concern they had with Alec, promised it was nothing about anything Tristan had done wrong, and asked for a good time to call him while expressing it was best the conversation occur when the boys wouldn't be home so they wouldn't accidentally overhear it. That way they knew they wouldn't call Tristan with something heavy during a time he wasn't prepared for it.

Overall, Dark was doing a bit better on Sunday, especially since he was now aware he was dealing with something. Just recognizing that made it easier because it meant he didn't have to cope with knowing he was feeling depressed without anything to connect to. The fear of that always his depression so much more difficult to deal with because it made it seem like it'd last forever. As difficult as having to cope with the stirred up pain in his past was, he knew it was tied to a specific time, so he knew it would pass.

That day, Ivy managed to stand up without help without needing to be tricked into it, much to the delight of both of her parents and she continued to enjoy her very simple, cozy days at home. Although, because the weather was growing colder, Dark and Daizi were steadily being faced with concerns about how to keep her occupied when they could not take her to the park like they used to.

On Monday, Milo went up to Xander and Alec in between classes, "I have some of the pictures of the vow renewal done. Not all of them, because I took a lot, so I'm still working on it, but I've gotten through a good portion of the first reel of film."
 
Tristan readily agreed to the phone call and listed the times that would work best for him, giving Dark and Daizi a choice for when his opportune moments overlapped with theirs. He was deeply curious about what this could be about as well as a little bit worried. Alec had seemed fine to him. What could be the problem? He'd find out soon enough, he supposed, so, Monday, he waited for the call while working in his office.

Alec and Xander both turned to look at the pictures eagerly. "Show us your least favorite first," Alec urged. "Which ones didn't turn out as good as you wanted?"

"Best for last," Xander agreed.
 
At the scheduled time, which luckily coincided with Ivy's nap, Dark and Daizi sat together on the couch to call Tristan. They knew it was likely only one of them would end up speaking in the call, but they both wanted to be there, just in case. Since Dark was who placed the call, he said, "Hello, Tristan, I hope you are doing well."

"Least favourite first?" Milo asked with his eyebrows furrowed, "Um. Okay." He began flipping through them and said, "I've already done away with all the ones that are, you know, blurry. I never keep those. These are all ones I've got the balance right for already, too. Oh, here," He turned one of the pictures around. It was just a nice, simple photograph of the people watching the ceremony, "There's nothing bad about it, I just don't think it's that engaging. Just people watching something. I think they're good pictures to have to show the events of the day, but it's not like... You know."
 
"Hello, Mr. Dark. I am doing quite well, thank you. And yourself?" Tristan asked politely but meaning the question.

~~

Xander and Alec shared the picture, studying it carefully. "Hmm, yeah, nothing thay great," Xander agreed. "No one is even making a funny face."

"It is very well composed," Alec said approvingly. "Nice, but dull."
 
"I am fine." Dark said simply, revealing nothing at all about his personal situation. "I should tell you, Daizi is here as well."

"Hi Tristan," She said with more warmth in her voice, "Ivy has started standing on her own. And another thing, too, but I suspect someone else will tell you that, if he hasn't already."

"We wanted to talk to you about Alec. He seems to come home with an assortment of unneeded items?"

~~

"I think of those sorts of pictures as like... the bread before the meal at a restaurant. You like to have it, but it's not typically why you went, and if they charge you extra you'll probably say no." Milo said, taking the picture back and handing them a photograph taken during Daizi's vows, right after Dark wiped Daizi's tears and her face was resting against his palm. It was angled so it was only them and the candles and the flowers in the altar in frame. "That's what you go to the restaurant for, you know?"
 
"Ah, yes, she said his name," Tristan chuckled. "He did not mention she was standing. How wonderful!" He paused. "For the items, yes, it is usually things I cannot use in my store. He said that he has projects for the items he takes, but I take it it has become some kind of a problem?"

~~

"Interesting analogy, but, yeah, I can see it," Alec nodded. He sucked in a breath at the picture of Daizi. "Oh, wow. Milo, that is so perfect! It's... it's perfect!"
 
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