How Green Becomes Wood

Dark and Daizi stood helplessly in their foyer, and tried to figure out what on earth was next. As they stood there, trying to figure out what to feel, Enkidu came striding into the room, and noticing his people didn't seem happy, again, sniffed them. Dark looked down at his dog and then just sat down on the floor and hugged him, burying his face into Enkidu's soft fur. Daizi bent down to scratch the sweet dog and then went to light incense.

Eventually Dark got off the floor and went downstairs to exercise. It was supposed to be his rest day, but similar to Xander he wanted to move. He loved his dog, but cuddling his dog wasn't doing enough to help him to process his emotions, so he needed to change tactics. In the past, he had a dangerously unhealthy coping mechanism, and when he was in a really low mood, as he was then, he sometimes needed to try many different things until he found what worked, just to keep from falling back into that old habit of his.
 
Precisely on time, Sally appeared at the front door with a large basket in hand, still dressed as if for work, but in back and yellow today. She knocked at the door and waited patiently to be admitted.
 
Daizi came down and answered the door. She hadn't changed out of her dress, since it was, being so loose fit, very comfortable, and it hadn't quite occurred to her, "Hi," she said tiredly, "you can come in. Dark is..." She turned slightly, "deep cleaning, I think, but we should probably leave him be. He doesn't know you very well, so he'd shut down a bit. We can go upstairs to my office. Thank you for coming." She tucked her hair back and then wrapped her arms tightly around herself.
 
"Of course, dear," Sally said, stepping inside. She started to move farther, paused, and backed up to take off her shoes and touch the salt. "Would you be a dear and point out the way to your office. I am going to help myself to your kitchen and make us both some tea. I will meet you up there in just a moment." She moved toward the kitchen, ready for tea making.
 
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Daizi nodded, and explaining which room was her office, and explained what cabinets their teacups and tea bags were. Then she quietly went upstairs.

Dark was in the kitchen polishing spoons, still wearing his workout clothes which exposed his muscled arms and tattoos, and a rubber band around his wrist. He looked up when Sally entered and murmured a greeting.
 
"Good afternoon," Sally greeted him, setting the basket on the counter. She took a good, long look at him. "I'll make you some tea," she stated. She turned and started taking things out of her basket. Loose-leaf tea, a kettle, a ceramic teapot, cups... she had packed everything but the water. WIth cool efficiency, she got water into the kettle, but the kettle on to boil, and measured out a precise amount of leaves into the teapot. Even before they were boiled, the calming, floral aroma filled the kitchen. Once she had everything set up and she was only waiting for the water to boil, she reached into her basket and pulled out what looked like a large white and confetti colored bouncy ball.

"Here you go," she said, holding it out to Dark. She gave it a slight squeeze, revealing it was not a bouncy ball, but a stress ball. Best of all, it was massive, making it the perfect size for Dark's hands. "We have a lot of these, and I asked Peter to pick one out for each of you."
 
He took it from her, and looked at it blankly, then he sighed and gave it a respectful squeeze, "Thank you." He wanted to keep polishing his spoons, but also didn't want to be rude and set the stress ball down immediately after receiving it. So he just looked at it with furrowed brows, clealry unused to receiving comfort from people he didn't know well.
 
Sally smiled at him. "It's alright," she said gently. "You do not have to accept it if you do not want it. I just thought it might give you something to do when you run out of spoons."

The kettle began to whistle softly. She immediately took it off the burner and poured it into the teapot. Then she placed the teapot into a cozy and put the whole thing into her basket. Then she took out a small box and set it on the counter near Dark. "The tea needs to steep, but I will bring you some as soon as it's ready. In the meanwhile, I believe Americans call these 'cookies.' We call them shortbread biscuits." She picked up her basket and started out for Daizi's office. She had no intention of making Dark feel crowded, but she wanted him to know someone was thinking of him.
 
"No, I..." He turned, "I have forks and glasses and..." He looked at the ball again, and at the biscuits, "Thank you."

Daizi's office, despite being called an office, didn't feel like one. It had a desk and bookshelves, but also it was full of plush chairs, heavy curtains, houseplants, candles, and all sorts of witchy, ritual items. The ceiling, despite being something she couldn't see, was deep blue and painted with stars and the astrological calendar, even though Daizi didn't exactly believe in astrology.

For her part, Daizi was draped across one of the chairs, tracing loving circles on her belly, deep in thought.
 
"You're welcome." Sally took her leave and went up to the office. She tapped lightly on the door and stepped inside. "Hello, Daizi, I'm back," she announced herself. "I've brought a few treats. The tea needs to steep a minute, so I am just going to leave it on the desk for now."

She set down her basket on the floor and took out several items, laying them out on the desk. Another tin of biscuits, the teapot in its cozy, five teacups, and a box of tissues. Lastly, she pulled out another stress ball and came over to give it to Daizi.

"I have something for you. It's called a DNA squeeze ball, though I am not sure why. I have two options here. Which one do you prefer?" She gave them both to Daizi to feel one at a time.
 
Daizi shifted in her chair and turns towards Sally, "Thank you... you're very kind to us," She reached out to feel the stress balls, and after touching both, she selected one, "I like this one, thank you... I'm sorry, I'm worn out," She waved her hand slightly, "She's not, but I won't complain about that."
 
Sally smiled and placed a few biscuits on two little plates. She gave one to Daizi and took the other for herself, settling down into the chair opposite. "So. The social services managed to find direct family members to your twins?"
 
She nodded, eating one of the biscuits, "Their aunt and their father. Their biological father. And I just feel like they're both keeping so much from me, and I'm just expected to accept them unquestionably because they're genetic, but Josh Powell was genetically related to his kids, and he burned the house down around them... They've been out of their lives since before they were born, they didn't even know they were twins and then they show up and expect us to not ask any questions about where they've been and just--trust them. As if they aren't strangers, but they are."
 
Sally rose and carefully poured the tea. "Hmm, that is certainly a sticky wicket," she mused as she poured. She finished pouring and handed Daizi her cup. "Could it be that they feel guilty and perhaps accused when you ask these questions, however reasonable the questions may be?"
 
"They should feel guilty," Daizi said softly, and then more openly, "Probably. The man kept saying he won't sit there and be made into a villain, but the thing is--it feels like he makes nothing but excuses for what he did. And I'm pretty sure he's already been lying to us. There was someone in his motel room last night and he was so dodgy about telling us who he was, and he tried to act like I was ridiculous for asking. And that's something... He keeps talking to us like there's something wrong with us. And both he and the aunt are so dodgy about everything. They're not forthcoming at all."
 
"A moment, dear. I will be right back. I need to give the others their tea."

Sally took the twins their tea first, leaving the cups on the floor and tapping on their door as she went. She took Dark his cup next, leaving it next to him and heading back upstairs. The cups for the twins were gone, she noticed, meaning they'd gotten their tea. Then she settled down in her chair opposite Daizi.

"There," she sighed. "And I have had a moment to think. I would like to begin with the lie about someone in his room. I have noticed Americans do tend to lie more easily than some of us who have not been born here. Could it be that he thought you had no business in questioning who was in his personal room and reacted defensively? After all, you are as much a stranger to him as he is to you. Why must he tell you something so personal?" She spoke calmly, her tone still gentle.
 
When she had gone downstairs, Dark had, in fact, eaten at least one biscuit, and he thanked her for the tea politely, although he continued to painstakingly clean. This, at least, seemed like it was working for him.

"Maybe... But at the same time," she swiveled, and then quickly stopped when it caused the little pain, "I only asked because I wanted to know if it was going to be just him when we all met or if he was bringing someone, and that's not unfair or invasive. I heard someone in the background and asked if there was someone there, and specifically qualified it to say it was because if he had a partner, I needed to warn Alec and Xander. Imagine if he just showed up with a wife, or some other unmarried woman he had impregnated, and the twins weren't prepared, and were suddenly confronted with this man who deemed them and their mother not enough to settle down with and the person he did decide was good enough for him? I don't care if he had a friend or a partner or a relative or a sex worker or whomever in with him, but it's not just about him, is it?" She took a sip of her tea and took a moment to acknowledge it was very good before continuing, "But he lied and said it was a delivery person, which seemed suspicious, but I dropped it, I let it go, and then later this person laughed at us, which tells me he had the phone on speaker, which is another breach of our trust, and... I don't know, it feels like Dark and I don't have anything to prove, but he does? He made them, sure, but we've been caring for them. Dark and I have both held Alec as he cried, and we've talked Xander down, and they've said they'd rather be unhoused again than leave us. Impregnating a woman doesn't make you a father."
 
"Of course, that does not make one a father," Sally agreed instantly. "However, there is a difference between asking the rather personal question of if someone is in the room with you and the more impersonal of if you intend to come alone or with a plus one." She sipped her tea. "TO play devil's advocate, it is possible that it was the television, someone outside, or in the next room. Some of those hotel walls are frightfully thin! I remember one time when Jack and I were forced to listen to another man's rather intimate conversation on the telephone, and he was not even raising his voice much. I know this seems like a breach of trust, and perhaps it is, or perhaps it is not. I think it might be best to file it away for future consideration, but maybe not hold it against him just yet."
 
"He just hasn't given me a single reason to trust him. Even trying to get us to say why he came was like pulling teeth, and he still never fully did. I guess it might be that he doesn't know, but he really should've figured that out before inserting himself, because those boys aren't dolls, they aren't playthings, he can't just decide suddenly he wants them only to change his mind later." She ran her finger along the rim of her teacup, recognized it was not one of her own, and fell silent for a little while.

After taking her moment, she inhaled shakily and said, "I keep thinking about this one Fresh Prince episode. I never really watched the show, but I caught it while in the hospital years ago. Will's father walked out on him again, and he was so upset, and he asked his uncle, 'why don't he want me,' or something like that. And I am terrified that man will stay in their lives just long enough for them to start to trust him and then leave them all over again. And we'll be there. Dark and I will be there. But..." Again, she halted, and very slowly her face began to crumble, "I love those boys. I really do, and it's awful, because I don't know what to do with it. They feel like mine, but they aren't mine, and I have to accommodate this man who abandoned them because he decided, after being practically coerced, that he wants to 'try' being a dad, and I just have to wait and hope that he doesn't hurt them, because if he does it will crush my heart." She had to set the teacup down so she would dry her face, not that it helped because she hadn't stopped crying, "and I don't know how to tell them, or if I should, or if I have to, because I don't want to complicate things further for them, and I told Dark that I loved him on accident not realizing it, so I don't even know how it's done, but I love them so much, and I think I probably love them more than this man who abandoned them ever will, or ever could."
 
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Sally leaned forward and gripped Daizi's arm gently, giving it a little squeeze. "You'll tell them when it feels natural," she said softly. "It does not have to be a planned time, and it does not have to be at all if they know it to be true otherwise. My father was of the generation where saying you loved your children was simply not done, but I never once doubted his love for me because of his actions and the way he treated me. I have seen you with those two boys, and while I have not known any of you long, and can see that you love them, and they adore you. Both you and your husband. You will tell them, and they will tell you when you are all ready."

She sat back and cradled her tea. "For this interloper... well, as I said, I do not know you that well, but I do know you would fight tooth and nail to keep anything untoward from happening to those boys, and as a mother, your defenses are up with this man. That could be entirely warranted, and I am not discounting your instincts one little bit, but could it be your desire to protect them is causing you to act aggressively toward this man? Could it be that he wishes you to acknowledge that he is here when he doesn't need to be as a way to try to get you to be less aggressive? I know that you and I, as mothers, love our little ones more than life, but that love does not always come naturally, not even to mothers. Sometimes it takes time to grow. Just as sometimes people need time to grow. If all this happened as suddenly for him as it did for you, perhaps he is still reeling and feeling as defensive as you because he is suddenly being forced to face a terrible, terrible mistake he made."
 
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