How Green Becomes Wood

They were at the hospital for a few hours. Dark did his best to send periodic texts to both twins, letting them know when they arrived, when they checked in, and when they were seen. He also kept Cooger updated... But mostly he focused only on his wife, who trembled and did everything she could to keep from panicking. She knew panic wasn't helpful, but there she was, in the hospital, in labour, too early.

It was not until they checked on the baby and heard her heartbeat, strong as ever, that she was able to relax a little. She was having contractions, but her baby was okay. Her daughter was not in distress. This news Dark also reported to the twins and Cooger.

Finally, the most important text. It was by then around 9:30pm, they had been there for two hours, and it just said: Everything is fine, we're coming home.

About twenty minutes or so after that, they were back inside their house.
 
Alec hugged himself to keep from instantly rushing to Daizi. "Should you be home?" he asked worriedly. "If the baby is coming... isn't that bad? I know you said she is still kicking and all of that, but is home... is home the best place?"

"Didn't we talk about this already?" Xander demanded of his brother. "If she's coming, she's coming, and somebody wants to have her at home." He couldn't help the shudder.
 
"I do want to," Daizi said, absolutely worn out. The emotional, and mild physical, toll of her day had completely worn her out, "but it doesn't matter now. According to the doctor, it's just Braxton-Hicks, not true labour."

"Practice contractions," Dark explained, "not ones that actually bring the baby closer to being here."

"That's what they say," Daizi said softly. She knew it was what the doctors said, and she really wanted to believe them, but... "I'm going to shower. I hate smelling like hospital."
 
Alec looked to Dark instead of Daizi and whispered, "What can we do to help?" He knew she was overwhelmed, overwrought, and overstimulated. The last thing she needed was him pawing at her and fussing.
 
Dark put his hand on Alec's shoulder and squeezed it, "Just let her be," he said, while Daizi went upstairs again. Maybe she was overreacting--the doctors would know, right? She tried to remind herself she had trauma related to this, so she was bound to be paranoid. Sure the ER was busy, but that didn't mean anything.

"They are both okay," Dark said, with a heavy sigh. He ran a hand through his hair, heaving a heavy sigh, "that is what is important."
 
He inhaled, weighing the pros and cons of pretending that he was perfectly fine and sturdy so that everyone would feel they had one unflappable person in the house compared to just being honest. Then he finally let his shoulders drop, and heading into the kitchen said, "I would love some tea. Thank you."
 
Alec smiled and touched Dark's elbow lightly. "Tea is the one thing I can make." He led the way into the kitchen and put the kettle on the heat up.

Xander plunked a piece of buttered bread in front of Dark without a word and tromped into the living room to sit with Enkidu for a while, petting the dog and calming him.
 
"Thank you," Dark repeated, sitting down in one of the seats. He rubbed the back of his neck and munched lightly on it without saying a word, just staring into the middle distance. He was home now. Daizi was safe. Their daughter was safe. Everyone was okay.

But he so vividly recalled the day when it wasn't. And in his mind he could see... He took a breath, trying to stop the thoughts from coming. Not then. Out of all the regrets, looking at his son was among those chiefly ranked, even though he knew had he chosen not to, not looking would have been ranked just as highly. But even though he knew if his daughter had been born that evening, she wouldn't look as he had, that she was much bigger, and infinitely more likely to survive... He still had it playing behind his eyes. And he could still hear the way Daizi had cried.

He blinked, taking a deep breath, and said once more, "They are both okay."
 
In the living room, Xander found Daizi's favorite CD. It had taken him a while as he couldn't remember the name exactly, but once he'd found it, he put it in and turned it just loud enough that Daizi should be able to hear it faintly from upstairs. Maybe that would help her relax and be at peace. Maybe. He could hope. There wasn't much else he could do.

Alec sat across from Dark, watching him. After a bit, he said, "I have a weird feeling. I feel like everything is going to be fine, but I also feel like everything isn't going to be fine. I don't think that makes much sense, but I don't feel... I don't feel any dread."
 
Daizi came out of the shower, letting her wet hair just drip down her back, and she had changed into a new set of pajamas--her old ones smelled of hospital. All of Dark's shirts, except for the massive horse shirt Dark had intentionally bought for this purpose, were too small now, but she didn't care, and let the fabric ride up. He may have been just downstairs, but she wanted to be in something that smelled like him. When the music drifted upstairs to her, Daizi paused for a moment and then crawled into bed, adjusting the pillows to be like a large nest she could sink into. She ran her hands down the curve of her belly, and asked aloud, in Arabic, "What are we doing, habibti? My sweet girl, we have a room all ready for you," but she could not bring herself to say anymore. She hadn't had another contraction for about an hour, and she hoped that maybe her doctor was right. But she still felt weird. Her back still hurt.

"It is difficult knowing something you want so desperately is going to bring the person you love most in the world indescribable pain and there is nothing you can do about it." Dark said after a protracted silence. Then he looked up at Alec, "I am glad you do not feel any dread. I suppose I do not either... I would not call what I feel dread..." He thought about it for a few more moments, and then finally confessed, "I am afraid. For now, for later..."
 
Alec smiled tentatively at Dark. "You won't go through that again. I feel that very strongly. Everything is going to be okay, in its own way." Perhaps he was wrong, but if he was, Dark wouldn't remember this. Even if he was wrong, then maybe he could help his foster father feel even just a little better.
 
He returned the smile in his own muted way, but after taking a long sip of his tea said, "Even if it does not, and I do not really think it will either... and if it does, I do not know what we will do with the nursery, but... Even if everything is perfect, mother and daughter, full term, no complications... She is my wife. I know you are no stranger to strong bonds, but... We did not have to meet, we did not have to be like this, but we chose to build a life together, and a home, and," he was spinning his wedding ring around his finger, "we made a person, and that means she is going to be ripped apart. Regardless of if the ending is how we want it to be or now we fear it might be... I have to see her go through it again. Holding her, wiping her sweat, that does not phase me. But the sound of it. I had forgotten. And if it goes wrong...? If she...?"

He ran his hands over his face and took another sip of tea. It didn't really seem like the sort of thing he should be telling one of the twins, especially not the more nervous one. He should call Cooger or something. He should go upstairs and tell Daizi how much he loved her. But he sat there, drinking tea.
 
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Alec reached over and delicately touched Dark's hand briefly, not lingering too long. "If something goes wrong, then this time you'll have two more sitting with you," he said softly. "We'll all face it, together. No matter what. Xander and I, we'll be here even if we can't help except to make you more tea than even you could possibly ever drink."
 
"Thank you." Dark said, taking a breath. The doctors said today were only practice contractions, and he supposed he had to believe that were true, since he wasn't a doctor, and he couldn't know how it felt for Daizi, who herself had said they were probably right and she was paranoid. But even if that were true, all emotions and fears the belief true labor had started wasn't super easy to put aside.

But it was true he wasn't alone. And it was true that, yes, be it today, next week, or next month, Daizi was going to give birth, and yes it would be painful, but this time all signs pointed to the arrival of a healthy, living child. So if Daizi could handle experiencing it firsthand, he could handle helping her through it. That was his job. It would be okay.

Dark took another deep breath, pushing through all the anxieties, and finished his tea, "I think I am going to go upstairs, check on how she is doing. Even though we were told the baby has not hastened her arrival, it has still been a difficult evening for her." He stood, going to first wash out the tea cup, "She was incredibly brave, I thought. At the hospital, but even before. Even though it scares her so much, she demanded to go when she thought there was something wrong."
 
Alec smiled. "I know. She is a living legend! She really is. Just let me know if you need anything. It's always easier to be the one in the situation than the one sitting on the sidelines in this kind of thing. We'll be right here if you need anything!" He glanced toward the living room. "Well, I will be. Xander might need a paper bag to breathe into."
 
"I will." Dark replied, and then paused, drying his hands, "Actually, I probably will not. But I will try to make myself," He followed Alec's gaze towards Xander, and then walked into the living room, "Are you alright?"
 
Xander looked up from scrolling on his phone and frowned. "Eh? Am I alright? Sure. Shouldn't I be the one asking you that? I'm good. I'm fine." He glued his eyes back to his phone. "Especially since nothing's happening today."
 
"Probably," he agreed, looking down at him, "but Alec already did, and he pointed out that you will probably need a paper bag. It was upsetting for all of us, so it is okay if you are a bit shaken from it."
 
Xander lifted his head enough to glare at Alec before turning to Dark. "I'm fine. I'm not about to pass out, and I haven't abandoned the house in search of safer lodgings. Don't worry about me."
 
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