How Green Becomes Wood

"She's fussy," Dark replied, "Lately she has begun to really cry whenever we set her down. I read it is not uncommon. It has made it a bit difficult, but because there are two of us, we have been able to manage. Daizi sent me to try to get some sleep, but I could not, so I took a bath."
 
"That was a good alternative." Alec fidgeted with his ripped sleeve awkwardly. He was never quite sure how to move on from these heavier moments. It felt awkward to just move on like it never happened, but what else was one supposed to do? Dwell on it incessantly? He doubted that was the right choice.
 
"I do not know how I will manage to go back to work in two weeks." He admitted, "I know I need to go back eventually, and I am fortunate to have been able to take time off, and even more so that she was born right before winter break so I had an extra month off, but I had not realized how much I would dread leaving her."
 
"Maybe. Probably. But she develops so quickly... and I'm worried about leaving Daizi alone. Not because I think she is not capable of caring for Ivy without me, but because for either of us I think it would be a difficult adjustment. I do not want her to become burnt out with long days alone with the baby. All of her friends work, after all."
 
"No, she knows already. We have talked about it, it is not a comment on her abilities, only on the stress of babies." Dark pushed his hair back, "We will be fine, because we need to be fine, but I am always going to worry. And it has been nice getting to be home with her--Daizi, I mean, every day. It has been a long time since we have had that for so long."
 
"I guess you could always be a stay-at-home-dad when Daizi can't take being home all the time anymore." Alec studied Dark soberly for a moment. "Do all parents share these kind of concerns with their kids?" he blurted, a little puzzled. Was Dark looking for reassurance? From him? Or merely venting? It just seemed weird.
 
Dark looked down at him and then shifted awkwardly, "It seemed like everytime I kept these thoughts between myself and Daizi, you and Xander get frustrated with us for keeping our concerns from you. I suppose I still have not found the balance. I do not mean to burden you with these cares."
 
"No, it's alright," Alec said, patting Dark's arm. "I like that you are trying to share, but it doesn't feel quite right to me. I guess I haven't found the balance either. The parent-to-child balance. Seems more nuanced than I originally thought."
 
He inhaled and then exhaled, not knowing at all where the line was. Quickly, Dark sorted through what he had said, trying to figure out at which point he shared too much. It felt fine to express his thoughts about going back to work... Was it? Was it weird from the start or did he cross a line?

"No, I apologize," He said lightly, "I should have been more thoughtful."
 
Alec snorted and stretched out carefully. "Forgive me if I sound like Xander here for a moment, but I don't think anyone could ever accuse you of not being thoughtful enough, Professor. You are fine. Maybe it's me. It probably is me. Anyway, I should probably do my homework. Is Xander doing his, or is he seeking distractions?"
 
"A little bit of both, I think," Dark admitted, standing, "He was making an attempt at the very least, but I think he very much wanted to be doing anything else. I should go downstairs and start dinner, let you both work. Oh, and Daizi baked cookies."
 
"It seemed like the least pressing event of the evening," Dark replied, walking downstairs, first at his normal volume and then, upon spying both Daizi and Ivy asleep, as quietly as a man his size could manage.
 
Alec helped himself to a couple of the cookies, and then he and Xander headed upstairs to actually focus on their homework. Alec felt a lot better after his talk with Dark, but a tiny nagging feeling still lingered at the back of his mind. He resolutely ignored it as he worked with his brother on their schoolwork, knowing it wouldn't help to dwell on the situation. He'd just have to try again. Later when Dark took him driving and next week during their next driver's ed class. Maybe things would be better.
 
Some portion of Dark wanted to just order food in so he could take advantage of the rare quiet moment in the house, but instead he cooked, gently waking Daizi when it was finished and texting the twins to eat.

Then, yet again, they fell back into a new routine. Now that the twins were back in school, Dark and Daizi took over cooking dinner again, since they had homework to do. Come Saturday, Dark was walking Alec down to the car, "Do you want to try driving through the neighborhood or do you want to go to a parking lot?"
 
"Um, parking lot without cars might be safer. I don't want to run into anyone's hedges or fences or something," Alec said. He glanced nervously back toward Xander, who was standing on the porch. "Are you sure you don't want to come?"

"I'm sure. You've got this, and you don't need me to distract you," Xander said, projecting far more confidence than he felt. "If I go, you know I'll do something stupid that distracts you. Go on. You're going to be great!"
 
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