How Green Becomes Wood

"Well that's a very kind thing to say," Blair replied, "You can all go out back, there's a table of food out there, you'll see it immediately. Oh, well. You know what I mean." She stepped to the side to let them in. Her house was perfect, like all of the pintrest girlies gathered together to craft it. Even the family portrait on the wall was carefully posed. But there wasn't a scrap of it that felt personal, at least not where guests had access to.

Out in the yard, Sloan got up and hurried to the twins as soon as she saw them, wearing a pale orange dress that wasn't her usual style with her hair up in a bun, "Hey guys, I'm so glad you're here." Seeing them, a short, thin man wearing khakis walked up, waving a bit awkwardly.

"Hi Dark, hi Daizi. These are your kids, right? You've been busy. Hard to go from zero to three kids in a year without having triplets." He waved at the twins, "It's good to see you boys again. I hope things have quieted down a bit, Slug was telling me awhile ago it was hard to focus on school because of the noise. I remember those days."

Sloan looked at her dad, eyes lightly wide, and then at Xander specifically, before pretending like she hadn't heard anything at all.
 
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Alec and Xander practically tip-toed through the house, unnerved by the perfection around them. It wasn't natural. "Told you you should have worn something nicer," Alec whispered to Xander out of the corner of his mouth.

"I'd rather be dipped in peanut butter than add to the layers of fake," Xander muttered in response, though he was feeling that perhaps just maybe he could have put on something a little nicer.

When Sloan hurried over, Xander arched his brow at her and looked her up and down. "Nice dress," he said dryly.

"Very nice!" Alec approved, meaning it. "Oh, hello, Mr. Applebaum! Nice to see you again in a more relaxed atmosphere. You have a lovely place. Yes, things are going much easier now. Right, Mama?"

Xander didn't smirk, but his eyes did narrow ever so slightly in a worryingly satisfied way. Slug?
 
With one hand, Sloan pulled lightly on the skirt of her dress. It was not what she had wanted to wear, "Thank you."

"Oh, yeah, it is nicer when we aren't planning anything major." He nodded for a little bit too long, looking a little bit like he was just bobbing his head, "and thank you. Blair has worked really hard on it."

"It is much more relaxed at home," Daizi agreed, rubbing Ivy's back. Ivy was busy looking around wide-eyed at all of the new people, one fist in her mouth and the other in Dark's hair.

"Well she looks like she's settled in well. We never get to see her, but, you know, Blair, she was really irritated you didn't send out birth announcements. And--" At this moment, his wife called for him from the doorway in the house, and he ducked his head slightly, "Oh, sorry. The missus needs me. You know how it is," He lightly tapped Dark on the arm and then hurried inside to his wife.

"Come on," Sloan said to Alec and Xander, nodding towards the furthest back corner of the yard, "Let's go literally anywhere else."
 
"Whatever you say, Slug," Xander said cheerfully.

"Can't you ever be nice?" Alec scolded, following Sloan.

"No, I think I am categorically unable to be so."


Meanwhile, Lex and her son, Toby, showed up at the event. Toby was in a white short-sleeved T-shirt and black jeans with scuffs on the knees. That was alright, though, because he'd snazzed up the outfit by wearing a black tie. Lex was wearing clothes that had no rips, tears, scuffs, or stains on them, and her shirt was long-sleeved, but it was still a shirt and jeans at the end of things. The shirt had some sort of abstract red swirls on it, upgrading it from the usual band shirt affair she normally wore. She carried a casserole dish of baked mac-and-cheese with bread crumbles on top and looked a bit uncomfortable. Tody looked around with wide-eyed curiosity.
 
"Oh my god," Sloan groaned, whipping around to look at him, "Like I'm the only one with an embarrassing nickname from their family. It's not like I chose it."

When Blair saw their new neighbors, she grabbed her husband and marched him up to them. "Oh my god, hi!" She said with a bright smile that didn't quite disguise the way she took a quick but focused look over the pair, "It's so good to finally meet you in person! We've just been watching you two get settled in!"

"Not in a creepy way," Her husband joked, but silenced himself after a firm look from Blair.

"I'm Blair Appelbaum and this is my husband Isaiah. Our daughter, Sloan, is back there with the twins you are next door to, and our son, Benny, is, oh, somewhere. You know how boys can be!"
 
"Which makes it all the better," Xander snickered.

"I'll try to make him stop," Alec assured her. He touched her arm briefly and lowered his voice. "I know it's not your style, but you do look nice tonight. Just so you know."

Lex smiled back, or at least moved her lips in the approximate motion of a smile. She was using both hands to hold the dish. "It's nice to meet you and see your... lovely home. It looks like you put a lot of effort into it. Um, I'm Lex, and this is my son, Toby."

"Nice to meet you!" Toby grinned, completely unfazed. He held out his hand to shake. "This looks like it's going to be one sick party!"

Lex lifted the mac-and-cheese slightly. "I'm not much of a cook, but this is an old family recipe. I hope there's room for it on your table."
 
She sighed, but smiled at him, "Thanks. My mom made me wear it. Like, I came downstairs in what I was going to wear, and she actually sent me back up to change."

"Oh, no, I'm sure it will be lovely. Isaiah, sweetheart, can you bring this to the table for her? Thank you, dear." She paused while Isaiah took the dish from her and brought it to the table of food, and then she dropped her voice to a sweet whisper, "It's bound to be better than Shelby's, although she'll be furious there's two kinds of mac-and-cheese put out. But I've been trying to get her to understand, Shelby, nobody wants raisins in their mac-and-cheese. She'll take it personally but maybe she'll finally learn." Then, she spoke in her normal tone again, "Well, you've just got so many people to meet, don't you? Now, I can make the introductions if you like, but consider this your own personal welcome wagon!"
 
"Dark did that to me once, but at least he didn't stick me in a tangerine," Xander mused.

Alec rolled his eyes. "So! What do you do at one of these things? Just... talk?"

"Uh, thank you," Lex said, wondering vaguely who Shelby was, although she had to agree that raisins in mac-and-cheese was basically a crime. "Yeah, I haven't had much time to really meet anyone. Older house, new neighborhood, all of that."

Toby was already edging away, looking around the back yard curiously.
 
"He probably was kinder about it than my mom was," Sloan said, resting against the fence until she saw her mom look her way. Then she straightened up and smoothed her dress, "And that's about it, yeah. I mean, if the weather was warmer and the pool had been cleaned out, we'd probably be floating and talking. Or, well, they would be, I probably would still be lingering. When some of the other neighbors host, sometimes they play beanbag toss, but that's a little bit too 'rustic' for my parents. For my mom." She looked over, "Oh, those are the neighbors. That's Tobey, on his first day at school, I showed him around... You know, you've been suspended, Xander, he may not have realized there is more than one ginger teenager living next door."

Blair smiled, "Well that's okay, that's why we're having this little gathering. Come on, I'll get you caught up to speed. Just--when we meet Shelby, don't tell her you made the mac-and-cheese, okay?"
 
Xander looked suddenly wistful. "How fast do you think I can grow out my hair and put on a candy-themed outfit?"

"Not fast enough to play twin tricks on him," Alec said, amused. "He's a skateboarder, apparently, Sloan. Did you know that?"

Toby approached them slowly with an easy but reserved grin. "Hey! Uh, sorry, your name starts with an S, but I forgot it. I'm sorry. And... one of you are my neighbor?" He glanced between Alec and Xander uncertainly.

"Right-o!" Lex said, chomping down the urge to do just that. She agreed with herself that if asked what she brought, she wouldn't lie, but at least for now, she'd try to be "tactful" and "polite." Her two worst subjects in school
 
"I've seen him," She said. "There was a time I wanted to learn to skateboard, my mom didn't let me. I'm pretty sure what I do is more dangerous." When Toby approach, Sloan waved and smiled brightly, "Hey, Tobey. Don't worry about it, I'm sure you've got a whole list of names you're trying to get caught up on. I'm Sloan, this is Alec, and this is Xander. They live in the castle looking house next to yours." She looked at the twins, "He's actually in one of your dad's classes."

Blair turned, frowning mildly at the way Sloan slouched while talking with the twins, but tried to figure out who to start introducing Lex to. She'd probably already met the Dark-Wahids, and the neighbors to the other side had probably already also made an introduction, so... Oh, perfect, the Masons.

The Masons were not perfectly aligned with what Blair considered to be 'correct' but they were very nice, and very normal. A married couple, three kids (all girls, aged 7 to 12), and they greeted Lex casually, made polite conversation, and allowed Blair to shuffle her along.

"Okay, so this," She said, gesturing to a new woman who looked to be in about her late fifties, early sixties, "is Kimberly Mahoney, she's the president of the HOA, so you will become very familiar I'm sure. Kim, this is Lex, she's the new one on the block? Where's Dale?"

"Oh, he's lingering over by the grill, you know how he can be. It's lovely to meet you, Lex," She turned to her with a similar subtly judgmental look to Blair's, "It's so good that old house isn't standing empty anymore."
 
"No way, really? You two are both Dark's kids? Awesome!" Toby grinned, his face open and sincere in his delight at the news.

"Yep," Xander said with a slight nod. "We're his kids." Toby didn't ask, so he didn't explain about the obvious genetic differences between them.

"You're really lucky to get him as a teacher. He's the best in the school," Alec told Toby.

"Rad." He frowned, thinking for a moment. Then he pointed at the wrong twin for each name. "Xander and Alec? Like... Alexander but split? And..." He stared at Sloan. "Sloan, right? That's a different name."

Lex followed along at Blair's urgings, smiling vaguely and completely lost in this sea of backstabbing niceness. To her eyes, Blair and the Masons were identical for all intents and purposes, so why was it pretty clear they hated each other? And was she supposed to shake hands with everyone? She really hated doing that. Then came Kimberly Mahoney.

"Good to meet you too, Kimberly," Lex greeted her. "It's a pretty good house. Kind of shocked it was on the market so long." Not as shocked once she got into it and started poking and realized how overpriced it had originally been. They'd dropped the price twice already, but once she and the estate agent started haggling, he'd given in pretty easily. He must have been happy to finally get the place off his hands.
 
"You've got it backwards," Sloan said, "Alec is the one who wears bright colours, so it's really easy to keep separate. And yeah, you don't meet many people with my name, but it suits me, I think."

"Oh, I'm not, dear," Kim chuckled, and both she and Blair turned to look, "Not with that monstrosity standing next to it. I mean, really, we tried to find some clause in the HOA code to prevent it, but whoever wrote them didn't specify building materials and only forbid bright colours. If they had decided to go with pink, we would've had a legal option, but we spoke with a lawyer, even, and there was just nothing we could do. So, really, you are such a trooper."
 
"Oh, sorry!" Toby told the twins. "And Sloan is cool! I wouldn't know how to spell it." He glanced around. "So, what do you guys do when not in school?"

Alec smiled. "I'm in theater, though I'm not sure I love it. We're also in a band! And Xander has his own business making leather goods."

Toby's eyes widened in surprise. "No way!"

Lex's smile took on a slightly glassy look, but she only nodded. "I see how it would be... hard to deal with," she agreed. "It's really unique in this proper neighborhood." She glanced around, debating. Ah, why not? "I dunno, though. I like it. Makes for a great landmark so you always know where you're going, and it makes your houses stand out." There. Not a total pie in their faces.
 
"They're pretty good," Sloan said, "and I've seen some of the stuff he makes, it's rad. He works really hard at it. And I'm a gymnast. What about you? Besides skateboarding, I mean, because I've seen you out in the neighborhood."

"You say that now," Kim smiled, "but just wait until Halloween. It's frankly overwhelming and I wonder if it's a good message for the kids in the neighborhood. They're strange people, I'll tell you."

"But nice enough, I suppose," Blair added, cautiously. She didn't want to challenge Kim, but now that her child was friends with their kids, she felt she needed to have some level of allegiance to them.

"Oh, sure, sure, they're so nice. And who are we to talk, you've seen how I can be at Christmas," Kim laughed, "Well, if you've not gone over the HOA rules, Lex, I'll be sure to get you a copy. I know just where to reach you, but enough about that. What do you do for work?"
 
"Gymnast? Oh, that's sick!" Toby grinned, snapping his fingers reflexively. "Me, I mostly stick to wheels. Scooters, bikes, razors, skates, blades, and boards. I'm hoping to save up and get a motorcycle, but my mom isn't so thrilled with the idea. She said that if I want to buy one and risk my life even more than I do already, she won't stop me, but she also keeps showing me stats and stuff about the dangers. I get it, but, man, bikes are so much cooler than cars! You can feel the wind and really be a part of it, you know?"

"Me?" Lex smiled genuinely for the first time. Oh, this was going to be good. "I'm a blacksmith. I've recently started my own business where I do all sorts of metallurgy, crafts, decorations, and a hell of a lot of useful items. I'm really into gates and fences right now. Why have boring bars when you can make it look like a dragon or a corgi, right? I'm planning on setting up a home shop in the garage."
 
"You know, I've heard a lot of people say that. I like my car, though, because it lets me travel with my friends. On a motorcycle, I can have, like, maybe one person with me, but in my car I can fit five." Sloan said, "I think my brother wants a motorcycle, though, but I think it's just because he turned thirteen and now he's obsessing about the fact he's a man, and he wants to do all the 'manly' things."

Both Blair and Kim looked at Lex like she had three heads. "Oh." Kim said, blinking. "Well that sounds very exciting for you. You must be so creative. What does your husband do for work?"

At this comment, Blair quickly looked down and away, knowing (or at least guessing, living across the street) there was no husband , and feeling true shame at not alerting to everyone coming to the party those questions were off-limits.
 
Xander snickered. "Just wait until he finds out that most manly things involve keeping the toilet lid down and working yourself to death."

"I think it's nice he has goals," Alec said, trying to be positive. "I could never do a motorcycle, not ever. I can't even really do a car. Well, I can ride in one, but not drive it."

"Cars are also good for transporting things. Only so much room in a saddlebag, but, yeah, I like bikes better," Toby said with a thoughtful nod.

"No husband. Never found a guy I liked well enough to consider splitting assets with," Lex said, unruffled by the question.
 
"One of those things you listed is just an adulthood thing, not a man thing," Sloan pointed out, "and really the other one is just about being polite and not gross. I don't think I asked, actually, Tobey, what brought you all here? I mean, to Heather Hill specifically. We're just a boring suburb."

"Well. How modern." Kim replied, "You know, I hear there are more and more women like you, and I think it's just so brave. And you're still young, there's still time."
 
Toby shrugged. "Mom wanted us out of our old life and to have somewhere nice. That's always been her goal, trying to build a nicer life. Every couple of years, we've managed to move up a little better. She's not, like, snobby or whatever, she just wants to have something different than she did when she was a kid. I think she picked here because she liked the name and that awesome old house nextdoor."

"Oh yes, because hitching yourself to a woman who already has a teenage son is every guy's dream," Lex drawled. "Nah, not for me, not happening. And not because I'm 'brave.' It's how things worked out, and I'm okay with that."
 
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