How Green Becomes Wood

"Oh no," Daizi said, her pleasure at the prank immediately fading when she heard Alec's yell, and immediately falling out of her fake accent, she quickly said, "I think we went too far, habibi," and then hurried outside after him, holding one very confused but unbothered baby, and not stopping long enough to put on her shoes.

"It was a joke!"

The yell stopped Cooger just as quickly as it stopped Lex, only he recognized the voice, and moved with surprising urgency, and would likely have pushed past Lex, had he not wanted to risk hurting her. He made it outside before Daizi had, and when he saw his nephew, he hurried over to him, "Alec, what's up dude? Why are you yelling, what happened?"
 
"Cooger!" Alec changed direction when he heard Cooger's voice and changed direction, running straight to his uncle and grabbing his shirt with both hands. "Cooger! Daizi and Xander have completely snapped! They're insane! Or possibly cursed. I don't even believe in curses!"

Lex slowed, stopping in the middle of her walkway to give Cooger space.

Xander felt only a tiny bit guilty, figuring that Alec would be fine the moment he knew what was happening. He followed her and called after Alec. "Screaming is unbecoming to a young man!"
 
"What are you talking about? Hey?" Cooger said, putting his hands on Alec's shoulders, then letting go, then replacing them, flustered and having absolutely no idea what was going on, "I'm sure they're fine and not cursed.

Then, he heard footsteps, Daizi yelling, and looked up to see his blind friend in a pencil skirt and a baby on her hip. And behind her, Xander, dressed as a nerd. "Tarot, we're over here!" He called out to her, and wrapped one arm around Alec to be certain he wouldn't flee, "Your newest neighbors driveway!"

"Alec," She said, slowing down as she followed the sound of Cooger's voice, "I--" She smirked slightly and gestured behind her to Xander after his comment, "He's right, yelling is very unbecoming on a young man, but--It was a joke, we were joking."
 
"You sure ran out fast. I haven't even gotten to talk about my new fascination with ballpoint pens," Xander smirked. "I'm thinking of collecting them."

"Ah!" Alec yelped and shrank into Cooger. He pointed at Xander. "I don't think he's joking. I think he's actually possessed!"

Xander came around Daizi. "Also, I'm going to join a club. I'm thinking the golf club. It doesn't get much more refined than golf, right?"

"Golf? What? No! No way!" Alec studdered, slipping under Cooger's arm and ducking around behind him. "You hate sports and clubs and make fun of golf!"

Xander followed him around Cooger. "How about mathletes?"

"This is punishment for what I did today, isn't it?" Alec protested, starting to get annoyed as his worry dissipate. He continued scurrying around Cooger while Xander chased him. "Stop that! You're creepy!"

"Am I... needed?" Lex asked, watching them and completely mystified.
 
"I don't even know if I'm needed," Cooger said, turning awkwardly as the twins chased around him, "I'm, uh, sorry?"

"We just thought," Daizi said, finally breaking and allowing herself to laugh, slipping in and out of the American accent as she tried to decide if she wanted to keep up the joke or not, "It's important to be a respectable family, and mathletes would look so well on college applications! And," she pressed her face against Ivy, who was now also babbling, mostly because she saw her uncle, "and after talking with Mrs. Appelbaum, I thought I may redo the house to be more beige. It's so classy, you understand, Alec," She laughed again, stumbling towards the loud ball of terror and befuddlement, and said, towards where she heard Lex's voice, "I'm sorry, this was not part of the plan."
 
"That's alright," Lex said, now amused as she watched the two redheads circling Cooger energetically. "Looks like a pretty good joke to me! I'll leave you to it. Lemme know how your husband reacts, would you?" She chuckled and turned to head back into the house. "Good luck, Cooger!"

"Ballpoint!"

"No!"

"Pen!"

"Stop it!"

"And no more bright colors!"

"What do you mean?"

"Earth tones and pastels all the way!"

"Argh! That's just evil to take away my rainbow!"

"Sparkles, too."

"No! My sparkles!"
 
"I will," Daizi promised, and then said, "Really, we're causing such a ruckus. Whatever will the neighbors think! We're making such a bad impression! But I suppose if anyone says anything I can point out that I'm a Boy Mom and that boys will be boys."

"Well he seems to have really recovered from his illness," Cooger commented, and looked at Daizi, "What on earth did you dress her in?"
 
Alec and Xander finally stopped running around Cooger, and Alec stared at Xander. "What are you wearing? You look like a walking stereotype. You are missing the pocket protector, though, and the leaking pens."

"I don't even know what a pocket protector is," Xander smirked. "Come on, let's go inside before someone comes out to see what's going on. I mean, shall we take this indoors?"

Alec shuddered. "This is so wrong."
 
"Are you coming, Cooger?" Daizi asked, taking his arm as she began to walk back to the house. It wasn't really a necessity, but it made her feel a little bit more comfortable, and it didn't occur to her that she wasn't really giving him an option because of it.

Reaching over and taking Ivy from her, Cooger said, "I'll visit, but I ain't dressing like a yuppie."

"You can hide in the bedroom when Dark comes home until we've successfully shattered his psyche," Daizi giggled.

"As long as I can stay for dinner, I'm--Woah, careful, Kitten! Let go!" He had to pull away from Daizi so he had a hand he could use to stop Ivy from tugging on his beard, "You have no idea what's even going on, do you? Two braincells and not a single one is aware of how absurd you all look."

"Are you going to try dressing normal with us, Alec?"
 
"Do I have to cut my hair?" Alec asked mournfully.

Xander snorted. "That's a bit extreme. Nah, just slick it back."

"Alright, I suppose I can help with this prank," Alec agreed.
 
"You can tie one of my cardigans around your shoulders," Daizi said, going inside, "oh, and I made soup, but that's not relevant to the game. You should hurry and change, though, because Dark will be home, soon."
 
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"Soup?" Alec asked, perking up instantly.

"It lives up to its legend," Xander muttered to Alec.

Alec grinned and nodded. "Alright, for the sake of soup, I will help you continue your shenanigans." He headed upstairs with Xander on his heels to help him get changed.
 
"It's fortunate you were able to have it last year," Daizi commented proudly, walking inside with them, "Otherwise you'd be missing out. But we can talk about that later, you've got to hurry!" She urged, gesturing for him to get upstairs and change, "Cooger, I should probably take Ivy back, Dark will be home any minute, and you don't want to spoil it!"


Soon enough, Dark did come home, and like Alec, as soon as he heard the music, he knew something was... different. And the decor had changed, which was... odd. So, although it wasn't something he liked to do, he called out, "...Hello?" but Daizi didn't respond immediately, this time giving Xander the time to make the first impression if he chose.
 
Xander made sure his suspenders were straight and walked down to greet Dark. "Welcome home, sir," he greeted politely, hands behind his back. "Did you have a pleasant drive?"

Upstairs, Alec had dressed in a dark, somber attire without a bunch of accessories or layers, but he was having a bit of trouble getting his hair to behave.
 
"It is only respectable to attempt to invite as little criticism as possible to the family name, particularly if the family is adopted," Xander said bluntly, his tone smoother, more mellow, and sounding a lot more like Alec than his usual gruff self.

"Indubitably," Alec agreed, coming to stand next to him. "After all, we have a new little lady of the house, and we want to ensure she learns the appropriate virtues so she might succeed in her life."
 
"I see." Dark nodded. Then he took off his shoes, and strode past them, "Tarot, the children are broken."

"Oh, no, dear," She replied, emerging with a drink in her hand which she promptly gave to him as she kissed his cheek. Again, she used her American accent, "I think they're swell. They've just been telling me so much about their plans, and I think we've raised two perfectly well behaved sons. You should go sit down, my beloved husband. I'm sure you've had such a terribly long day at work."

He blinked very slowly at her, looked back at the twins, and chuckled uncomfortably, "So you all, planned this then? It is, uh, very clever. Well done."

"Oh no, my dear, it's not a joke, I just decided, and they all agreed, we have to really be careful about our image. And I've been doing a lot of soul searching, and I think Ivy would really benefit if I became a stay-at-home mom. I think it's imperative I teach her about a woman's duty."

As he tried to process what on earth was happening, Dark almost instinctively took Ivy from her, and seeing her onesie sighed and said, "Oh no, Hummingbird, what have they done to you?"
 
"I think she looks quite lovely," Alec piped up. "And she is wearing such a pretty skirt. I thought for certain you would be pleased that we are all taking such consideration for Ivy. After all, she is of the fairer sex and must be guarded at all costs. However, it will be some time before she is old enough to need such protection, so, in the meantime, I have chosen to quit my foolish, childish hobbies and take up a career path in accounting. Numbers are such lovely things!"

Xander nodded soberly. "I believe I may join either the school's golf club or possibly the mathletes, and I wish to put greater effort into my studies so that I might become a government official aid. A census worker! It would be so thrilling!"
 
"Do not listen to your brothers, my darling girl," Dark murmured, kissing the top of his baby's head. "I will support your brothers whatever they decide, but I will not allow you to be corrupted," he walked beyond them into the dining room and stopped when he saw that table cloth, "Why?"

"I was told the beige is so much lovelier. I wouldn't want anything to be hard on the eyes of our guests. Would you mind painting her toys for us? So they're more aesthetic?" Daizi commented, which made him laugh again.

"No, I am not doing that, you ghoul."

"But don't you think it would make our home look so much cohesive? I fear we seem like heathens, or worse!"

Dark turned again and looked at her, "You are not my wife."
 
"What a terrible thing to say," Xander frowned, following Daizi. He stood next to her. "Dearest mother, I think your choice to paint the toys is an excellent idea."

"As long as it is all organic and ecologically sanctioned," Alec nodded. "Too much color is far too stimulating for such a delicate creature as our sister."
 
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