How Green Becomes Wood

After following Alec back inside for dinner, Dark set Ivy into her high chair so she could feel like them. Whereas before, Dark would sit at the head of the table, and Daizi would sit to his right, they now put Ivy in Dark's spot, so both of her parents could easily get to her and nobody had to squeeze past the high chair, since it was a little bit more difficult to move than a standard chair.

While they ate, Dark made no indication about what he and Daizi were talking about outside, although he had caught a glimpse of Alec watching them, but once they had finished eating, and the table was cleared, he said, "Stick around for a moment, I need to talk with you both. Do not worry, it is nothing bad, you are not in trouble, and nobody is dying."

"And I'm not pregnant again," Daizi joked.
 
"Well, that's three of the main worries off our chest," Alec remarked. "So, if it's not any of those, what is is it?"

Xander waited, wondering if it was what he thought it was or something else entirely.
 
Dark took a deep breath and Daizi held his hand, "I am considering quitting my job at the school to become a stay-at-home father. Daizi and I have been discussing it for awhile, now, and we believe it would make our lives easier in a number of ways, but I wanted to know what you both thought about it, because I would not want to quit and have either of you feel less supported, or worse, unsafe, because I am not at the school every day with you, anymore."
 
"Really?" Alec asked, startled. "I thought you liked teaching."

"Of course he did," Xander said stoutly, "but just because you like something doesn't mean you wanna do it forever."

Alec nodded thoughtfully. "True, it has been, what, ten years? It will be very strange not to have you there." He looked a little concerned, but he was still working through what it would all mean for all involved. "Still, Ivy would be happier with a parent than at a daycare. As long as she still gets a social life."

"I think it's cool," Xander stated.

"Oh! Does this mean we could do homeschool?" Alec asked curiously.
 
"I love teaching." Dark replied honestly, "and I think if you both were my only children I would remain content there. I have worked there for eleven years, and I do not regret it. It is not easy for me to decide to leave it behind. But if I chose to stay home, like you mentioned," he nodded to Alec, "Ivy would not need to go into daycare when Daizi goes back to work in the office, and until then it means I would be able to take equal responsibility over Ivy during the day, which would decrease her stress. It would also provide me more time to keep the house clean, and when Daizi is back at her office, if one of you were sick or otherwise needed to come home during the school day, I would be able to get you, rather than calling Cooger to do so."

Daizi hadn't been planning to really speak up during this conversation, but she did respond to Alec's question, "Would you want to be homeschooled? You have all of your friends at school."
 
"Sounds like a pretty good deal," Xander said. "I can see why women stayed home a lot instead of working in the field." He raised his hand. "Not inviting a discussion on sexism and the patriarchy! Just saying I see the bonuses of having one person staying home regardless of gender. And I wouldn't mind being homeschooled."

"I think I like the idea more than I'd like the actual act of being homeschooled," Alec admitted. "You would, too, Xander."

Xander grumbled but nodded. "Fair enough."
 
"Well, women didn't ch--" Daizi began before being hushed, and she listened with great effort, although she found it ironic that her son was telling her not to talk about the patriarchy. To be fair to her, all she was going to do was point out that women didn't necessarily choose to stay home and that lower class women did still work throughout history and leave it at that, because this was Dark's moment.

"I do not think I would be sufficient as your homeschool teacher. As I recall, you told Milo I am only the history teacher after all," He was teasing Xander, just slightly, but then much more seriously looked at the two of them. "I do believe being a stay-at-home parent would make me happier. I have not enjoyed feeling like I am missing so much of Ivy's life, and I feel as though if I was home, I would be able to be more present in both of your lives, as well, because I would always be home when you are and my time at home would not be spent grading. But I am concerned, because the last time I was at home during the school year, your grades fell, and although there were extenuating circumstances, the struggles you were having were kept secret from me," he made eye contact with Alec, "If I am not employed at the school, and cannot rely on my coworkers reaching out directly to me, I need to be able to trust we will not have a repeat of the end of the Fall semester."
 
Alec dropped his gaze and fidgeted. "I understand," he said quietly. I'll do my best."

"I'm not going to promise anything about the grades, but if you're home and not distracted, then theoretically, you'll have more energy to ride our asses about it," Xander remarked dryly. "Unless Ivy's got you completely tuckered out. Seriously, though, if you're going to be happier, and it's not the kind of situation where life's dictated that you gotta do what you gotta do at least for the time being, then do what's going to make you happy. Isn't that what you tell us?"

Alec looked up and nodded. "Truth! You tell us to do what we need to do to be as happy as can be expected. Shouldn't you be setting an example and following your own advice? Which I guess is what you're doing now."

"Yep. Otherwise, it's just a do what I say and not what I do kind of deal," Xander pointed out.
 
"I do not care if you struggle in school, but I cannot quit my job if I cannot trust you to be honest about how you are doing in school. If you are failing a class and tell me, that is an entirely different situation from failing a class and hiding it. One is significantly worse. Do you understand? I cannot help what I do not know exists, and I do not want to quit only to find out the only way for me to be aware of how either of you are doing in school is to be employed there."

He sat back to ease the pressure off of them, "I am having this conversation with you so I can tell if this is a situation where the only option is to stay employed there. I do not want to quit and then learn one of you feels abandoned or passed over, I do not want to quit if you feel unsafe not having me in the building, I can only quit if I know you both will be okay if I do."
 
The twins nodded soberly.

"I promise I'll tell you if there's any problems," Alec assured him. "I just want you to be happy, too, and as long as we know you're available, we feel safe. I feel safe," he corrected himself.

Xander agreed. "We'll be okay, and we'll do our best not to play the subterfuge game."
 
Pushing his hair back with one hand, Dark took a breath and after a beat said, "I do not think this is a 'try your best' moment. It should be sufficient to say you will not lie and hide the truth of how you are doing in school, because I believe you should trust me enough to know I am not going to get angry or punish you if you make imperfect grades. I am not the sort of parent who obsessively checks your assignments, but I need assurance that if your teachers send home a letter to myself or Daizi, we receive it. It is very little to ask. And I know that last year when this happened the situation was more complicated than, hopefully, we will have again, but I worry about it." He sat back again, passing his hand over his face, tugging lightly on his beard when he reached his chin, "I apologize, I do not mean to beat a dead horse, it is only that if I am not working there, which means I cannot keep as close of an eye on the situation, that means you both have more responsibility, and I know you both can handle that responsibility perfectly well. I trust you both, I do not want you to feel as if I do not, but your education is not a joke to me."

Then, he took another breath, squeezing Daizi's hand a bit more tightly, "Of course I will still be available for you. If anything, I will be more available, because I will not be teaching a class should you text me for any reason." He meant that, although he wasn't sure if it was true. They wouldn't be able to come to his classroom when they were stressed out during lunch, anymore, and that tugged at him. It was those moments, in addition to what he had already said, which made him doubt this choice, and he didn't have a sufficient alternative.
 
"We'll be okay," Xander assured Dark. "Alright? We'll be fine, and we aren't going to lie to you about stuff. We'll be okay there, and it's just for a little longer. Two years with the mini is more important."

"We're not going to fail you," Alec said, starting to feel the pressure.
 
"Good." Dark nodded, sitting back again, silent now. He thought for a few moments, looking at Enkidu, sleeping happily on the floor. "It was not an easy or obvious solution for me to come to, you understand. So I worry about making the wrong decision and doing harm to you both as a result."
 
"You aren't hurting us!" Alec assured him. "It was really nice to know you were there in school with us, but now we know you're going to be here when we get home."

"That'll be nice, especially with Mama working," Xander agreed. He smirked. "We get a stay at home dad. That's pretty cool. How many guys can say they have that?"
 
He nodded, looking still down at the floor, but Daizi leaned in and rubbed his shoulders, "I think it will be wonderful. And it'll take a lot of pressure off of me when I'm home. Everybody supports you, Goose. Just like I told you they would."

Dark looked at her, his eyes softening, and he sighed, "Art, Rose, and Hetty will be upset. But I will call Bernice tomorrow."
 
"I feel like we should have a celebration," Alec mused.

"Congratulations, you quit your job?" Xander asked incredulously.

"Okay, it sounds weird when you put it like that," Alec admitted, "but it's a monumentous occasion!"

"How about a nice, good job making the scary choice and maybe a cake and leave it at that?" Xander suggested.
 
"I do not need a party," Dark said, picking up Ivy from her high chair and setting her in his lap, thinking about how much trouble she continued to cause, "I am glad to be quitting, and I believe it is the right decision for all of us, but it is nonetheless a little sad."

"I know, Goose," Daizi said, kissing his cheek. "It's okay to be a little bit mournful. It's a big chapter of your life."

"I was only 28 when I was hired there. It feels like a lifetime ago."
 
"I am old," Dark agreed, finding that fact more strange than anything. How on earth did he manage to get old? He had believed for so long he was going to die young, every passing year felt increasingly more bewildering. How did he ever get here? He looked down at Ivy, who was not old, and rubbed his thumb across her forehead and down her cheek. He had no idea.

Daizi pressed again his shoulder, "It's okay, Goose. I'm old too."

"Well," He said, looking at the twins again and shaking himself out of whatever thoughts he had arrived to, "that is all I wanted to talk to you about."
 
"A warning to stay in school and actually take it seriously, and the fact that the budget is going to shrink a little," Xander said with a serious nod. "Cool. It's good to be warned."

"Maybe I should have gotten the box dye after all," Alec frowned, fluffing his amazing feeling and looking hair.
 
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