How Green Becomes Wood

"I've never had much of a problem telling them apart," Daizi said lightly, trying to ease at least some of the tension. "And I don't know if there are any jobs that are really exactly what people on the outside perceive them to be. A lot of people presume my job is just wandering around the museum all day, but that's not true, either. And I'm sure you can imagine the misconceptions people have about being a teacher."

Dark looked at the two boys, and their different expressions, before asking, "Alec, do you have any questions for Tristan?" because he knew, in that moment, if he asked Xander, they were likely to jump into the deep end with much less grace.
 
"Um..." Alec nervously messed with a speck on the table in front of him. "Do you... do you have any kids? Wife? Anything like that?"

Tristan shook his head. "No, no kids, no wife, no girlfriend. I was dating someone, but we ended things a few months ago. We weren't really right for each other."

"So, you were a jerk and you don't want to admit it? Or she just got fed up and left you brokenhearted?" Xander demanded.

Tristan took his time answering. "Actually, it really was a clash of personalities. When you first start out with someone like that, it is easy to focus on the things you like and ignore the things you do not like, but if you are going to be honest, you have to face the things you do not like, and sometimes you find you do not want to try to work with them. She really cannot stand the smell of chlorine, and I wasn't willing to give up swimming, Transversely, she loved rock collecting and leaving them in spots around the room, and I could not stand what I felt was clutter."

"Sounds pretty shallow to me," Xander grumbled.

"I get it," Alec said hastily, nudging Xander under the table. Even if it was more serious than rocks and swimming, that was personal. "Thank you for sharing. What about the rest of the family? Yours, I mean. Are they all red-heads? And will we be meeting more of them? Of which there are how many?"

Tristan hesitated, tapping one finger on the arm of the chair. "The... majority are red-heads, it is a strong family trait, and I do not think you will ever be meeting any of the others. As to how many, that is... It depends on who you ask."

Xander looked actually bewildered at that. "How can that be?"
 
Daizi considered mentioning that people are allowed to break up for shallow reasons, but decided it may not have been the place for that sort of conversation. Perhaps later, if there was a natural way to bring it up, but that seemed unlikely. Instead, she tried to give the most basic explanation for why different people in the same family may count differently, "Well, in my family, one of my cousins married a man with kids from a previous marriage, and some of us consider his children, my cousin's step-kids, as family, but others in the family don't. I don't think it's too uncommon, especially in larger families, to have an uncertain count."

"And some people do not know how many relatives are still alive." Dark added.
 
"Oh, that makes sense," Alec said, nodding.

"So, which is it for you?" Xander asked Tristan.

Tristan took a breath, bracing himself a little before explaining. "In total and legally, there are eight of us Walsh children. I am the third from the last or the sixth child, whichever way you wish to look at it. Seven are boys, and our oldest sibling is - was - a girl. A few months after turning seventeen, she walked away from the family and has not had any contact with us since. I do not know why or any details around it because I was rather young at the time, and neither parent will speak of it. Actually, neither of them or the eldest of my brothers will speak of her at all. As far as they are concerned, she has ceased to exist. I did try to get in contact with her a few years ago, but when I was able to find a means to do so, she told me in no uncertain terms that she did not want to ever hear from a Walsh again and severed that tenuous tie. I have honored her request. As it happens, I am not certain if my family counts me any longer, either. I am not as fully cut off, but we are not on as friendly terms as we once were."

"Sounds like your family is a real choir of angles," Xander drawled. "I am realizing more and more how pea in a pod Declan was."

Tristan could only shrug. He had no idea how to react to that. Perhaps he was supposed to defend his family and brother? There really wasn't anything to defend, but he wouldn't try to deliberately malign them, either. He'd been there, done that, and he was tired of it. It was too exhausting, but letting go was not quite as easy as one might hope.
 
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Oh god, Ivy had ruined her, Daizi thought. Or maybe Ivy and the twins. She had always been a bit more soft-hearted than her husband, but not like this. She wasn't about to cry, or anything, nothing he had said was even upsetting to her, but although she did her best to fight it off, she failed to resist saying, "I was cut off from my family for a few years. It's better now, and most of them have come to accept the choices I made, but I know how difficult it can be, regardless of if it is something you think is for the best or not."

Damn. She may be fussed at for that later. Their intention with this whole process seemed to be keeping all cards close to their chest, but she understood, or at least partially understood, and she couldn't---Lord, she tried, but she couldn't not admit to that, and maybe, maybe it would help make the conversation easier if Tristan knew he wouldn't be automatically judged for something that complicated.
 
Tristan looked at Daizi, startled, then smiled a little. "I am glad you were able to reunite with your family. I am not sure if it is what is best for me even now, and I have been separate from them for a few years now, but I am glad that I was at least in some contact with them because it meant that I was able to learn about you." He nodded to Alec and Xander.

"How exactly did that play out?" Xander asked suspiciously. "Did he just show up on your doorstep and demand money?"

"Basically, yes," Tristan said honestly. "I was going to deny him and was about to tell him to leave when he told me why he needed it. A child support payment. Naturally, I had questions. He answered as little and as vaguely as possible, I gave him the money, and then he left and I started searching."

"Did you know our mum?" Alec asked timidly.

"Ony a little. Four years is a big gap when you are in highschool," Tristan told him. "I always thought she was pretty and way too cool for Declan."
 
"Sometimes it is better to be rid of them," She agreed with a compassionate nod, "There's really no right answer, all we can do is try to make peace with whatever we have. But I hope you have more agency in it than I had."

Dark glanced at his wife, knowing it was her story to tell if she wanted, but a bit surprised by her... pity? Her gentleness? Those were qualities in her he had always admired, and they had been a big part of why he had felt safe with her when they just met, but she wasn't quite used to seeing them given so freely to a true stranger who wasn't a child. He looked again at Tristan, "Do you have any photographs of her?"
 
"I did. It was entirely my choice to walk away. In a manner of speaking," Tristan said with a slight smile. At Dark's question, he frowned in thought. "I might. I know I have a yearbook somewhere in a box, and I think I have a few pictures of friend groups. I can look once I get home."

"What was highschool like? For someone who... sorry." Alec blushed. "That's probably a really rude question. I didn't realize until I started to say it out loud."

"That's alright. At least you realized. Actually, I was not in a wheelchair until shortly after my last year in high school," Tristan told him.

Alec's eyes widened. "What happened?"

"My legs decided to join a union without the rest of my body," Tritan replied cheerfully. "So, what about you, two? What about some of your hobbies? You look like fairly athletic teens. Are you in sports or dance? Perhaps art?"

Alec lit up and started telling him all about his art and his newly discovered cyr wheel. Tristan listened diligently, nodding and asking the occasional question, his focus entirely on Alec. Xander sat back, arms cross, watching suspiciously.
 
Dark continued focusing on the three of them, impressed that Tristan seemed truly interested in what he was being told. It was a low bar, but one Declan had tripped over, so although it wasn't much, it was a point in his favor. As Alec talked, though, Ivy accidentally dropped her rabbit onto the floor and was not quiet about it, which pulled his attention, and when he bent to pick it up for her, she reached out to him, making a fuss while he tried to shush her without causing even more of a distraction.
 
Alec paused in his explanation of how a Cyr wheel to look at Ivy. He didn't mean to draw attention to her. It was habit.

"That is a darling little child," Tristan remarked. "I have some sanitation wipes if you need one for her," he paused to look closer, "rabbit toy."

"No," Xander said flatly. "Thanks."

Tristan held out one hand slightly. "I mean only as a-"

"She's none of your business," Xander said caustically. "Forget about it. And her."

Tristan hesitated, feeling both a loss of what ground he'd managed to gain as well as a bit of confusion. He'd thought Ivy belonged to Dark and Daizi and was perhaps a new foster (he did wonder briefly if they'd lied to him about not having any other fosters, but he couldn't think of why and dropped the idea almost immediately), but with Xander's quick, protective response, a new possibility presented itself. He really didn't want to ask and either confirm or deny the idea, but now that it was in his head, it was taking firm, terrifying root. An awkward silence fell.
 
"Don't worry, we have some, but thank you," Daizi said, going into her diaper bag to get wipes, taking the toy from Dark and doing her best to clean it off, but since it was a plush, it was a bit tricky.

"I apologize for her," Dark said, taking Ivy out of the stroller and bouncing her on his knee, "we had hoped she would stay quiet." Seeing the confusion on Tristan's face, he took a breath and knew there was no point now in pretending like she wasn't around, and with only some lingering hesitation, "This is our daughter." He paused, then lied, "We could not find a sitter today."
 
"Oh, I see," Tristan said carefully, fighting down any outward sign of relief. "She looks very sweet."

"She's the sweetest baby in the entire world!" Alec gushed. "We all love her immensely."

"Of that, I have no doubt," Tristan chuckled. "I can't imagine not loving her." He thought about asking more questions about the baby, but since he'd not been officially introduced, not even her name, he figured that was a topic they wanted him to avoid. "So, Xander, how about you?" he asked instead, turning to the other twin. "Do you do Cyr wheel as well, or is there something else you're passionate about?"

"Judo," Xander said shortly.

Tristan waited, but there was no further information given. "That is an interesting sport. Quite rough, though not as rough as something like football, I assume? Do you get many injuries?"

"No. That's training 101. Injuries don't happen much," Xander replied.

"That's good. Is there a place around here you practice?" Tristan asked, valiantly trying to keep the conversation going. He didn't know the first thing about Judo. He didn't know any martial arts, really, and certainly not enough to tell them apart or ask in-depth questions.

"No, I fly to the moon every Friday," Xander retorted. "Why do you want to know?"

"Perhaps that was a little personal. I apologize," Tristan said quickly.

"I really don't know where you get off thinking you can just pop into our lives like this and ask all these questions," Xander snapped. "We're not zoo creatures you get to gawk at whenever you choose. We're not here to make you feel less guilty or satisfy your curiosity. We're people. Not things or events, and just because you're a cripple doesn't mean we'll feel any sympathy to meet your demands. You can leave and go on about your life like nothing happened while we pick up the pieces, and I'm not interested in doing that."

Tristan maintained a careful expression as Xander lashed out, but the words cut deep, especially as he was already questioning the wisdom of disrupting the twins and their lives. When Xander paused for a breath, he shifted in his chair and pulled back slowly. "I think perhaps there is a misunderstanding. I had no intention of causing you any sort of grief. Perhaps I should just go."
 
Daizi inhaled sharply, knowing she had promised Xander he was in control of the conversation, but she felt, also, like he had lived with her long enough to know not to call a disabled person 'a cripple' and so she inhaled slowly and said, her voice calm yet firm, "Xander, that is not an appropriate word, and you should not have said it. However else you are feeling, that is over the line." Had Tristan used it to describe himself, that would be one thing, but that was not the situation they were in. He should have known better, and she wanted to tell him that, but she held back on it only because if she didn't want to come on too strong and make him lash out further.

Holding up one hand, Dark said, "There are a lot of complicated emotions in this. It is difficult for everyone to navigate. If we could maybe have... a few moments..." He looked at both twins, trying to tell if having some time in private to talk would give them some time to settle.
 
Tristan wasn't sure if he wanted to come back, but he nodded and told himself to buck up. He'd been through worse. "The walking path looks like it goes in a circle. I'll take a spin and come back in a few. A break might be for the best for all of us." He scooted back from the table, turned his chair, and rolled off. This was going both better and worse than he'd hoped.

Alec waited until Tristan seemed to be out of earshot before scowling at Xander. "You're being really mean. For no good reason!"

Xander scowled back and crossed his arms. "I meant what I said. I'm not a trained dog to bark at his command."

"And he's not Declan. He's not asking you to," Alec shot back.
 
"Xander," Dark said slowly, after Tristan was out of earshot, "I understand why you are concerned, and why you are guarded. I think it is healthy to be guarded. If you do not want to get to know him, you do not have to. There is nothing wrong with establishing boundaries. But that was not the way to go about establishing those boundaries."

Daizi nodded slowly, and then added on to what Dark had said, "I know you're worried about forming an emotional attachment and then it being ripped away from you, but is there anything he has done or said that has explicitly crossed a line for you?"
 
Xander fidgetted unhappily, well aware he was in the wrong but really not wanting to admit it. "He asks personal questions," he finally muttered.

"Like what? Where you did Judo? You could just say yes, it's nearby or something," Alec complained. "I don't think he meant to pry. I think he's been pretty nice, actually."
 
"What do you want to do next?" Daizi asked gently, unhappy with how he handled it, but nonetheless wanting to make sure he was okay and he felt safe. "Regardless of if we go home right now or if we stay and talk, I think you should apologize for what you called him, because that was unacceptable. I know that isn't easy, but... that is a difficult thing to be called, and I think you know that."

"You are also, at any point, able to answer his question by saying, 'I am not comfortable answering that.'" Dark pointed out to Xander.
 
Alec sat back and waited. He was annoyed at Xander because he'd actually been having a good time. Then, suddenly, a realization hit. Were they switching places from when Declan had come to visit? Was this how Xander had felt then? What if history was repeating itself but mirrored? He bit his lip and looked away, suddenly uncertain.

Xander scuffed the ground with his shoe. "Yeah, guess we can keep talking if he comes back," he mumbled. "Guess I should apologize."

Meanwhile, the walking path wasn't nearly as long as he'd thought it was, so Tristan had started to loop back sooner than expected. He slowed as much as possible until he rolled to a stop in sight of those in the pavilion but still a decent distance away. He turned and looked at a small bed of decorative plants and tried to focus on them and their beauty as he breathed in, held it, then breathed out. A slow, steady exercise that he used to bring awareness to every part of his body. He couldn't control what other people did or said. He could only control how he reacted to it.
 
'I think that would be the adult thing to do." Daizi replied, feeling very deeply for Tristan over it, this time not because becoming a mother had softened her. She had enough restraint not to lecture him on exactly why what he said was so bad, but Xander lashed out when he was scared, and when he lashed out, he tried to hit where he thought it would hurt most. He already knew why it was bad. But just like when he was saying thoughtless things about Dark's history with self-harm, it did bother her that he still would strike there. She tried to not let it show.

Dark pushed his hair back, bouncing Ivy on his knee. After taking a deep breath, he said, "I like that he shows interest in both of your hobbies, even if he is not familiar with them."
 
"Okay," Xander said quietly. "Sorry. I'm just... I guess it doesn't matter. I shouldn't no matter what."

Alec sighed and gave him a sideways hug. "Just tell him sorry, and we'll try again. Okay? You can tell him about Judo and why you like it."

"Okay," Xander agreed.
 
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