How Green Becomes Wood

[pandakatiefominz]

"The next day was when you told us the secret you had been carrying, I was too focused on you," Daizi said, her face still pointed away, "and then... there were just a million more things to do. I didn't want to dwell on it."

 

[BookKnight]

"Oh." Xander shuffled a little. "I guess the one thing I learned, finally, is you can't... ignore stuff like that." He shrugged. "I know. I'm one to talk."

 

[pandakatiefominz]

"I don't want you to feel worse about it," Daizi told him. "and I don't have a lot of spare time."

 

[BookKnight]

"Can I fix this?" Xander found himself asking. "Is this something I can... do anything about? Anything to help? Even if it's just leave you alone for a while."

 

[pandakatiefominz]

"I think it just takes time." Daizi replied, "I thought someone had broken in. In that moment, I didn't know what was going to happen to me. Because I didn't know who was there."

 

[BookKnight]

Xander inched closer and finally sat next to Daizi, still giving her what space he could. "I'm sorry I scared you like that," he said softly.

 

[pandakatiefominz]

"It wasn't your fault," Daizi told him, taking a slow inhale, "At least, not like that."

 

[BookKnight]

"But I still did it," Xander said. "Meaning to or not, I still did it, and I can't fix it." He looked down at his hands. "I can't fix it."

 

[pandakatiefominz]

"Have I held it against you at all?" Daizi asked lightly, turning her face towards him finally, "If not, it doesn't matter much if it is time or you that makes it better. I love you all the same."

 

[BookKnight]

"I... love you, too," Xander said quietly, "but you can't take time to heal because of all of us. I just feel like it's not fair when you do everything you can to help us heal."

 

[pandakatiefominz]

"That's the difference between being someone's parent and being someone's child, I think." Daizi told him, "I talk about it with Dark, sometimes. It's just... I have you both, and Ivy, and work..."

 

[BookKnight]

"But you need to heal just like us," Xander said quietly. "Don't you? Being a parent doesn't mean you're immune and don't need it. So, you know, if you need me-time or whatever, just tell us. We'll make it work."

 

[pandakatiefominz]

"That's what people keep saying it comes down to," Daizi mused, "I'm not sure if it's that simple, but that's not your problem to deal with."

 

[BookKnight]

"It feels like it is. Or at least that I started it or made the problem or something," Xander mumbled.

 

[pandakatiefominz]

"Yeah, but... You didn't... know. I know that you wouldn't have, if you were aware of yourself. That's why I was able to forgive you easily." Daizi told him, "It's just... the stranger I was afraid you were that really hurt me."

 

[BookKnight]

Xander sat for a moment, trying to figure out what to say. After a long silence, he asked, "How do you get over something like that? Or heal from it?"

 

[pandakatiefominz]

"Honestly?" Daizi asked with a sad sort of smile, "I don't know. I'll let you know when I figure it out. I've been in situations where the threat was real. And I've been in situations where I thought there was a threat but there wasn't. But I've never been in one that was... sort of both."

 

[BookKnight]

Xander gave a little nod. "Do you... want me to stick around, or would you rather be by yourself?"

 

[pandakatiefominz]

"I don't know. I guess you can stay." What she really wanted was a hug, but she knew Xander couldn't give her that, and she wasn't going to ask. She'd go to her husband later and disappear into his chest.

 

[BookKnight]

"Okay." After a moment, Xander reached out and gently took her sleeve, tugging it lightly so she could feel he was there and then just held it. He couldn't do much more, but maybe he could do this.