How Green Becomes Wood

"I hope so," Daizi said, taking over helping Ivy eat her dinner so Dark could have his. Even to her, this soup was an amazing, comforting meal, but being the one who made it took some of the magic out for her. Sure, it evoked memories of when it was made for her, but it had been many long years since it last had been.

Dark, meanwhile, needed it more. If he were ever to write a memoir, he would credit this as one of the things which saved his life. "Do you remember, Xander, when you asked yesterday about my version of a hot bath?"
 
"Hmm? Oh, yeah, what about it?" Xander asked, opening his eyes. He lifted the bowl a little as he carefully spooned more to his mouth, forcing himself to go slow.

Alec was listening, but he hadn't opened his eyes as he continued to slowly eat.
 
"It is this soup," He answered simply, wanting to lift the bowl with his hands and drink it that way, but forced himself to resist. Few things felt as wonderful as this.

Daizi smiled softly. If the soup itself didn't have the same magic to her when she made it herself, the intensity of her family's love for it did much to make up for it.
 
"Yeah. This is better than any bubble bath," Xander sighed, stopping just short of hugging the soup bowl.

Alec smiled. "It feels... so bittersweet," he said softly. "It tastes different than the last time you made it."
 
"It makes me think of sad things. Things I've lost. People I've lost. But it makes me think of the good things about them," Alec said. "It makes me feel... sad. But happy that I can remember."
 
"I think it's a very good thing," Alec said sincerely. "A very good thing! It just... also hurts a little. In a good way." He sniffled and rubbed his eyes quickly. "There's just a lot to process."
 
"Sometimes even the best things hurt a little," Daizi replied and rubbed her thumb against Ivy's cheek, "Or a lot. Like spicy food or petting a fluffy cat's belly, even though you know they'll probably bite you."
 
Alec smiled shakily and nodded. "Yeah. Just like that." He fell silent as he ate, letting the warmth spread through him. He allowed himself to sink into that warmth, remembering times with his mother. Good times. Bad times. They were all wound together, all beautiful in their own way. And now he had a new family, new love, new life... but that wouldn't wipe away the old. It was new strands woven into the tapestry right next to the old ones. Beautiful, but hard to understand the picture until you stood back. The old and the new walked hand in hand, giving him the picture of his life. And it was complicated, but beautiful.
 
At the end of dinner, Daizi picked Ivy up and held her in her lap, knowing she was definitely coming to the end of her day, even if none of the adults were, and as everyone finished their dinners, she sighed and said, "I think we should talk about tomorrow and what you want to do for it, if anything, so we can be prepared."
 
"Something simple," Xander said first. "She wouldn't like anything big, and I don't think we have it in us to do anything big."

Alec nodded in agreement. "If you'd be willing to sacrifice them, Mama, maybe just a few flowers for her grave? I think that and just spending a little bit of time there would be enough."

"That doesn't sound like much of a day. The problem is, I don't know what else you're 'supposed' to do in a situation like this," Xander remarked. "Are there things you're supposed to do?"
 
"I am not the person to ask," Dark replied grimly.

Daizi lightly whacked his arm and then said, "I don't think there's anything required of you. Of course you can take some of my flowers to her grave, and anything else you may need. It's really up to what feels right to you. I light candles, sometimes I write a letter and then burn it with incense. A lot of my rituals involve burning. Once, when I was really struggling with missing my brother, around the time of our wedding because I knew he would be so, so proud of me, and I really wished he could be there, we had a Dumb Supper, but I don't think that's something that would feel right to either of you, but I would do it, if you liked. That's also why Samhain is so important in my holiday calendar. We do Dumb Supper most years on Samhain."
 
"It's where you cook dinner, if you're doing it for a specific person it's typically their favourite dinner, and you set a place out at an empty chair, and you all share the meal together but instead of saying anything, you all sit silently as you eat, thinking about the person, or persons. At the end, you bring part or all of it outside as an offering." Daizi explained, "Like I said, it doesn't sound like something you'd be interested, but that's what it is. Eating the favourite foods of your loved one and setting out a picture of them with some flowers is always a nice thing, though. And I've always found letter writing helpful, although I have to use my braille typewriter, I wish I could handwrite mine."
 
"Sounds kind of nice, but, nah, not really our thing," Xander said after a moment of thought.

"Come to think of it," Alec said slowly, "I don't think I know what our mother's favorite food was."

"Oh, you know, it was..." Xander hesitated, frowning. "It was... I don't know."
 
"Even I really only do it on Samhain, except for that one time for my brother," Daizi replied, not surprised they weren't interested in it, "because then it is for all the dead, even the ones which came before us."

"Ciara may know what her favourite food was," Dark suggested.
 
"Last year we had just had a baby," Daizi pointed out, "Ivy was barely home from the hospital. Samhain begins at midnight of the 31st, so Halloween is the celebration leading up to it, and then, our anniversary, November first, is the day itself. We do Dummy Supper with our guests, when we have a Halloween party, which we normally do. And then it's back to merriment, and we have a bonfire because it's when the veil between this world and the next is thinnest, so the bonfires guide the ghosts, faeries, and all other spirits to the otherworld..." She paused for a few moments and shrugged, "Or so the legend of Samhain goes. If you don't believe in it, it's a bonfire we all get to enjoy all your typical bonfire activities around. I think we were planning to do it this year, maybe a bit scaled down since there will be so few of us, and we will have a big day after." Shaking her head, Daizi said, "Anyway, you should call Ciara. I am sure she will be glad to hear from you."
 
"That sounds like a wild party!" Alec said in surprise. "I mean, I knew you were planning a party, but that's nothing like what I thought it'd be. That's going to be an interesting experience." He glanced at Xander. "When should we call Aunt Ciara?"

"How about tomorrow?" Xander suggested. "I don't have the energy to do it tonight."

Alec shrugged and nodded. "Same. Tomorrow, then. I'll put a reminder in my phone."
 
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