How Green Becomes Wood

Clenching his jaw and staring straight ahead, Dark guessed there was more than what was being said. Even if there wasn't, it was hard to see his son this upset. "You know for next time," he said, "At least most of the flowers were saved."
 
"I still feel bad," Alec admitted. He twisted his seatbelt. He didn't want to talk about it. He really didn't want to tell Dark all of it, but he knew that eventually Dark or Daizi would slowly extract it, and if he didn't talk, he would feel guilty about it, and it would just spiral. He sighed. "Uncle Tristan snapped a little."
 
Hearing the tremble in Alec's voice, Dark forced himself to look back at the road. "I see." He had so many more questions to ask, but the look Alec had... "You do not need to be nervous about telling this to me."
 
Alec looked down at the dashboard. "I don't want you to be mad at him," he admitted. "I know it wasn't the right reaction, but so did he. He said sorry right away. Well, actually, first he made sure my hand was okay. Then he said sorry. He'd had a bad day, and the falling thing scared him, and just... He didn't say all of that. All he said was he was wrong. I told him it was okay now."
 
Dark nodded slowly, not knowing how exactly to respond to that. It did make him angry. And it made him angrier still that Tristan didn't admit to it, he had to hear it from his son. Maybe later he'd receive a call or a text explaining that part. He hoped so. Bad days, fear, all of that were explanations. Not excuses. But if Tristan apologized, it suggested he knew as much.

"Do you think I would react unfairly?" Dark asked instead, carefully controlling himself.
 
"Maybe," Alec admitted. "Maybe been mad at him. Maybe made me stop working there. I don't know. I know you would have stood up for me, but I don't think you need to in this situation. He scared me, and what he said hurt my feelings, but he apologized and didn't make excuses for it."
 
Dark exhaled, in a way relieved to know what was said, "That is worse than weird. But not as bad as it might have been." He glanced back at Alec, "I hope you know you are neither of those things."
 
"Maybe he wasn't wrong. I did mess up a lot today. A lot. And it's not the first time. I'm always running around with my head in the clouds and messing things up or doing my own thing or trying to make people fit my ideas or getting all emotional or not getting the right emotion or not reacting right," he babbled.
 
Dark clenched his jaw and quickly decided to pull into the nearest parking lot so he could look directly at Alec for as long as was necessary.

"Alec." He said gentle and firm, cupping his boy's face in his hands, "Look at me. This is important. I need you to really hear me. None of those things make you stupid. Okay, you messed up. It happens. People make mistakes. You just learn from them. You pick yourself up and you decide to do better next time. You get lost in your big ideas because you are passionate about how the world can be. That does not make you an idiot. It makes you someone with a boundless amount of hope, more than I have ever known or can imagine feeling, and an wealth of creativity. Yes, it is not great to expect people to just go along with you ideas, but you are not stupid. And of course you are emotional. You are sixteen. All sixteen year-olds are emotional, and before you try to argue me on that, remember anger is an emotion too. You are not stupid. You are not."
 
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Alec looked at Dark, eyes brimming with tears, and annoyed by his tears, but they wouldn't stop. His breath caught in his throat at Dark's firm, sincere words. "I want to believe it," he whispered almost desperately. "I want to! But I can't stop feeling like it's true. I just want to be more like Xander or you or Mama."
 
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