How Green Becomes Wood

"I'm fairly proud of what we've managed to achieve together," Daizi said earnestly, "I appreciate the offer, but I think we've got it all in hand. Right now we're really just planning how the ceremony will look. Our wedding was very traditional, which we didn't mind much because we were just so delighted to be there, but because this one doesn't have any requirements to it, we're really working to decide what we want to include. We get to write vows for the first time in our lives."
 
"This time around, you do not intend to be traditional at all?" Ciara asked, completely unsurprised but aslo a little nervous as to what "nontraditional" might look like for Dark and Daizi.
 
"We'll we're not going to do it through interpretive dance, if that's what you mean," Daizi teased, "I like to as part of ceremonies draw in the corners and form a circle to create a sanctified space, so we'll probably do that, so there will be incense and candles, we're discussing doing a handfasting blessing, and we're talking about having a cup of wine and both drinking from it. Cooger's going to officiate, and he's only... largely stressed by the responsibility. I'd also like some drumming, but Dark thinks it would be distracting. Like we do at an Islamic wedding, which is what our first one was, I'm going to have henna done in advance. So it's really not too extreme, at least not by some of my practices, and it'll probably look more similar to what you're accustomed to than it will to what our first wedding was, a traditional wedding for us is centered around the Nikah, the actual signing of the document, which seems to be more of a footnote in your weddings." She took a breath, still fiddling with her earring before saying, "But I understand, with a difference of religion, if it's not something you'd be comfortable attending. Everyone's journey with their spirituality looks different. You don't need to tell me now, or at all, but if you choose not to attend, I would ask you be certain to not enter the ceremony room and if you do attend, to stay the whole time, if someone enters or exits, the circle will be broken. But I promise, there will be no sacrifices or blood oaths and very little idolatry."
 
"I was not aware Mr. Cooger was certified to officiate weddings," Ciara said slowly, truly surprised, but also clinging to something small to talk about while she tried to process everything else Daizi said. "I think it is a very good thing to do what you feel comfortable with, and while I might not uncerstand certain... traditions... I understand they are important to other people. I would not wish to hinder or interfere with something so important as a vow renewal."
 
"You don't have to be certified for a vow renewal," Daizi replied, "It's a purely symbolic ceremony, so there aren't any requirements about who is allowed to officiate. If Ivy said more than three words, we could have her officiate. Although I think Mama, Baba, and flower are probably sufficient," she chuckled to herself, "If only we could get her to say them at the correct times. But we want it to be Cooger, he means a lot to us both. You're more than welcome at the ceremony, provided the circle remain unbroken, and there's no hard feelings if you only join us for the celebration following it."
 
"I will certainly be there for the after celebration, but I will have to give some consideration," Ciara agreed. "I thank you for being conscious enough of myself and my beliefs to give me this advanced warning. I appreciate it."
 
"It's no bother. I know my beliefs are not for everyone, and I know they're more difficult to sit in on for those who have other strong beliefs. There's a reason why people are raised to believe the conversation topics you should never bring up at a dinner party are religion, politics, sex, and money. They're so deeply personal. As much as I may want to share that moment with everyone I care about, I'd rather the people I care about be comfortable." Daizi replied easily, finishing her soup with the same ease as if they were discussing the weather.
 
"I understand. I will get my decision to you as soon as possible," Ciara assured her. "Thank you. I am curious, what made you decide to do such a large vow renewal? It is akin to a second wedding."
 
This was not a question Daizi needed time to consider before answering, "Dark and I have been through such a monumental life change in the past two years. We went from having accepted we would be a childfree couple to having three children before we had time to really process a moment of it and we've found ourselves to be the center of an extraordinarily complicated blended family. We have family members from not only three different countries, but three different continents, which becomes five if you accept Sally and Jack who attend so many family gatherings they may as well be. By choosing to take on Alec and Xander, we chose to take on the role of facilitating that emulsion: we're making space for two teenagers from a different culture and their needs in our home, we're making space for a now one-year-old who takes over," she waved a hand, "everything she touches, we're making space for the twins' friends, their hobbies, and for," she gestured towards Ciara, "their family. We're making space for baby playgroups and the whole new batch of strangers which comes with it. And doctor's appointments, school meetings, Alec can't drive so Dark transports him. And that's all on top of trying to maintain our own friendships and hobbies and, in my case, work and religion, and on top of taking care of our pets." She paused, now, only to figure out how to explain it in a way that would make sense to Ciara, "This time two years ago, Dark and I were able to dedicate most of our spare time to each other. And I," Daizi touched her left hand to her chest, "deeply value that time. But our lives are so busy now, we don't have that same space. A lot of the time it feels like when we go to bed at night, we're returning to the barracks after a hard day's work or a battle. We make time for each other, but it's not like it was. And that's okay, honestly I love him more than I did two years ago because we've had to grow so much together. We're a tighter team than we were. And it's hard not to more completely love a man when you wake up to the sounds of him singing to your infant when she decided to wake up at three in the morning. But the renewal is a way for us to affirm we aren't just parents and we aren't just partners. We're lovers, we married because of the connection we have to each other. The rest of it came because of our commitment to each other." She took a sip of her drink and after swallowing said, "It's also our ten-year wedding anniversary, so it seemed the right time. And it's fun."
 
"I'm sorry," Daizi said shyly, "Our children always get on our case for going on too long. But we're both such passionate people, I find it difficult to be concise when there seems to be so much worth saying."
 
"You have every right to be passionate, and you have many things worth saying," Ciara assured her. "Perhaps I should apologize for being a poor conversationalist. I cannot match your passion, I am afraid."
 
"You have certainly gone through your share of trials and then some," Ciara said with a nod. "You have earned a bit of celebration. Alec is looking forward to it. He asked me every day after you sent out your invitations if I had gotten one yet."
 
"Dark likes planning fancy events and I like gathering all our loved ones into one place so it works for us," Daizi replied, "The truly difficult part will be getting Xander into a proper suit."
 
"Do you need the funds to get one?" Ciara asked, misunderstanding. "I would be glad to take him shopping for one that he can grow into. It is good for a man to have a proper suit."
 
"No, no, it's not the money," Daizi assured her, "He's just... resistant, I'd say, to dressing according to those styles. He's much more casual, he and Alec got into a bit of a spat over what to wear to court for the adoption finalization. A full tuxedo will undoubtedly be a bit of a negotiation."
 
"Alec likes dressing up. But he also, as you probably know better than I do, loves colour. So our battle with him will be convincing him why he cannot wear rainbow colours to the event," Daizi explained, "And also... There's been a bit of strife between him and Dark lately. I think it's okay to admit to it. Before Ivy's birthday, we went to the NICU to bring a gift basket to the doctors and nurses who did so much for Ivy as a show of our gratitude. Apparently, Alec had, without asking anyone, bought these bright, cheerful vests with animals on them and expected he, Xander, and Dark would all wear them together, but Dark refused because the visit had significant emotional importance to him, and he didn't appreciate being expected to dress 'silly' for it, because in his estimation expecting someone as goth as he is to wear a colourful animal vest is expecting something silly. Alec pointed out Xander agreed to wear the vest, despite it also not being something he felt comfortable with, and posited Dark would scare the babies and parents for dressing like he always does. It was a mess. Ultimately, Dark didn't wear it, because he didn't want to wear what felt like a costume for something he felt to be almost solemn and Alec was very disappointed. So, there's a small concern that he'll fight against not being allowed to wear bright colours on the grounds of wanting to celebrate us as himself, but then again, Dark wore a lavender suit to Spencer and Mittz' wedding, because it was their event and what they requested sp. We'll see how it goes. Or, everyone else will, I couldn't tell you the difference between vanta black and pinkest pink, besides the fact Anish Kapoor owns one and isn't allowed access to the other."
 
"That does sound concerning," Ciara frowned. "Alec has said nothing to me about this, and he has said nothing but glowing praise for Mr. Dark. Curious. I hope he will not fight you for this. It is your day. It is special."
 
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