How Green Becomes Wood

"I dunno. I almost wonder if we should be worried about you because you haven't started in on your dad joke phase yet," Alec grinned. "All dads do it! Surely there's some gothic-themed dad jokes you could pull out."
 
"I dunno. I think you'll be depriving Ivy of a fundamental aspect of growing up with a dad," Alec teased.

Xander snorted. "I doubt Gomez did this kind of stuff. He did other stuff. You'll be fine without puns."
 
"If the greatest failing I have as a father is I did not provide my children with sufficient puns, I will be satisfied in my success in the role." Dark replied, pulling into the parking lot at the thai place, "Anyway, Cooger makes enough puns for the both of us. They say it takes a village to raise a child."
 
"I never understood what that saying means. Most people seem to get annoyed when other people interfere with their kids, and Mama and all other mamas hate getting advice," Alec remarked, getting out of the car.

"Hoe your own row and raise your own babies," Xander remarked, stretching briefly.
 
"Daizi does not hate getting advice, she hates getting unsolicited advice. Sometimes, she just wants to be able to vent without people trying to fix it because talking through the problems aloud helps her to work through the problem herself and she just needs someone to listen and agree the problem is difficult rather than just telling her what she should do about it. Everyone has their own process." Dark said, defending his wife until his dying breath, "Anyway, when they say it takes a village it means sometimes relatives, friends, babysitters, or whoever, typically help the parents at times. The way all of the Aunties came to make Daizi soup and take care of Ivy and the house last week was it taking a village. With the exception of the soup I could have done all of those things, but it made things easier for her I did not need to."
 
"Why would you tell someone about your problem and vent if you don't want advice on how to fix it?" Alec frowned, confused. "If you just want to talk about a problem without discussing potential solutions, isn't that just complaining? I do not see the difference at all."
 
"There is nothing wrong with complaining," Dark replied, "Sometimes you need to get what you are feeling off your chest, and sometimes support is worth more than answers. Having someone to just sit and listen matters. I cannot tell you how often my conversations with her are just one of us telling the other what's bothering us and allowing the other one remind us they are there, they love us, and we are not alone. You can talk things through without giving solutions. Daizi is wonderful at asking me questions and helping me to find the core of what is causing me strife, and that is so much more helpful than just being told what she thinks I should do." As he explained this, he thought back to the night he decided to quit, the night (although he still didn't know about it), Xander sat on the stairs and watched Daizi hold him to her chest as he cried. Eventually that evening Daizi had been the one to simply tell him to quit, but that wasn't what had really saved him that evening.
 
Alec continued to frown. Since when had anyone ever said that there was nothing wrong with complaining? That made zero sense. Not to mention, he really and truly could not see how a person could talk through an issue of any kind without giving solutions. Wasn't the point of talking about issues to try to find ways to help make something better? Why else would Daizi constantly desire to be told how they were feeling? Wasn't it so she could know how to help them? The fact that he felt like anytime he brought up issues to his parents, they both offered life lessons did not help his viewpoint. He opened his mouth to argue back.

Xander reached out and gripped Alec's shoulder lightly, giving it a little squeeze. Alec turned his frown to Xander, but he recognized the "not now" expression. For once, he settled down. Maybe he'd get it "when he was older," as adults were prone to saying.

"Does Mama want us to bring her anything from the restaurant?" he asked instead, changing the subject.
 
"She might like some pad thai," Dark answered, seeing the frown on Alec's face but not addressing it since Alec wasn't, "but I know she is going with Ivy to eat with her aunts before they go home, so she may not be hungry."
 
"Alright. We shoudl get her some pad thai before we leave then, just to say we were thinking of her," Alec said brightly, willingly moving away from the troubling topic and back to the happy times of the day. "Oh! Ba! What would you do if you ever met someone taller than you? Would you have a measuring contest or make all the tall jokes people usually make around you?"

"There's no way he'd make a tall joke, but that'd be hilarious," Xander smirked.
 
"I have met someone taller than me, just once," Dark answered, looking up as though he was recalling the memory, "When I was at college. He was on the basketball team. It was a very strange experience for me to be looking up at someone. Normally all I see are the tops of heads."
 
"You must have a lot of opinions on hair styles," Xander remarked.

Alec snickered but didn't continue the conversation until they were sitting down. "What will you do if Ivy is taller than you?"
 
"I notice people are balding before they notice themselves." Dark replied coolly as they were led to the table. After they sat, he stretched out his legs and said, "If Ivy grows to be taller than I am, my primary concern will be for her joints and her heart."
 
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