Smugglers Cove (Love2write and Silence)

Killian was given a little note to pass onto Star. Sasha told him to tuck it into the bread box so he did. However, soon as he finished tucking it away and walking for the living room he heard a distinct screech about his shoes. Almost wincing he grabbed the mop and started to clean the floors walking back toward the door again. At the doorway he leaned the mop against the wall. "I got some other stuff to do. Don't forget the mop over here." Star was incredibly grouchy from what he could see and the heart rate was elevated. He had no idea why she was so mad at him.

When suppertime came around he sheepishly took his shoes off after he'd tracked halfway to the kitchen. Just because he didn't want Star to be upset he grabbed the mop and cleaned the floor again as best he could with one hand. His arm was a little sore after a day attempting to work on machines and prepare the ships for another raid. Then it occurred to him that Star was probably upset about that so it was better not to say anything.

After dinner Killian sat up with his pad for a while. He reviewed the flight plan and updates for the fly list. Eventually he noticed that his fingers had begun to swell again and he got up to take another lozenge before heading to bed. Wandering into the room he tried to get into the bed as quietly as possible so as not to disturb Star. Maybe she needed him to try and get up at night to take care of the baby. Gently laying his casted arm on her side he leaned over her shoulder. "Do you need me to take care of the baby tonight?" By now she was past waking in the night for feedings. It was more about soothing her and putting her back to sleep.
 
"Do you need me to take care of the baby tonight?" Killian asked.
She glanced up at him. "No, that's ok. I got her. You've done enough." She pats his arm. "I'm sorry...I know I've been super short with you all evening. Its not you...promise. Sasha kind pissed me off."
Killian winced when she patted the cast though it was very lightly and he figured she had noticed after about the second pat. "What did she do?" He couldn't think of anything that the woman did that could have made Star so mad.
"Well, first she had the gall to compare how she raised you to how I am going to raise Claire...then she got off on another topic." Star's voice faded out and she glared to the side. Everything within her didn't want to tell him. But he was her husband now, and she would've been pissed off if Killian had kept something like this from her as well. She looked back at him. "Sasha said something about the bippens kidnapping the Chippequoti in droves and sending them to the masters. She wants us to help, but she was being super manipulative about it. She's playing some sort of game, Killian and I REFUSE to let you or me be that damned woman's pawn."
Adjusting how he was laying in the bed Killian scooted a bit closer to Star. He usually liked to be in close proximity with her. "Hmmm...I wouldn't say she did a bad job raising me." For the most part he couldn't have blamed her for running from the man and Killian knew he couldn't have actually protected her. At least now he knew that. Far as he was concerned Sasha did him favor by leaving. "The Bippens are what?!" Sitting up in the bed he could feel himself growing more angry by the second. "I never did like those little blobs. Sick minded bastards." Muttering under his breath he finally pulled himself together and reluctantly settled into the bed again. "Where are they keeping them?"
Star sighed. "She didn't say. But its bound to be somewhere dangerous." She put a hand on his chest. "Listen, Killian. Hearing about what they were doing upset me too, but Sasha...she's playing a whole 'nother game. She wants you to free the Chips so we can use them as soldiers against the masters. No doubt she has other things up her sleeve as well." She clutched his shirt, her forehead wrinkling in worry. "I don't want you getting hurt or killed in whatever game Sasha is playing. So you'd better check and double check everything before you go after them, lest you end up as a pawn in her war too."
"Of course its somewhere dangerous." Killian moved a hand up to meet the one resting on his chest. "You know as well as I do that the Chippequoti wouldn't fight for her. They might fight for me and then its all out of her hands soon as I get them out."
"I wouldn't be so sure about that." She looked up at him. "According to the Sasha, the Chippequoti have been through some pretty horrible things...including being isolated from one another and having their voiceboxes removed. They may very well want nothing more than war. And Killian, they won't have the boundaries we do. They will commit mass murder on a massive scale just to get to the masters. You know they would."
Clenching his jaw he refused to look at Star for the time. "How do you know that? Maybe if they could see reason or logic they would be more willing to scale back."
"If I wasn't there when you were making plans against the masters...would anyone have been able to convince you to scale back?" She asks seriously. "The only reason you did was because you loved and respected me. These Chippequoti don't have that. If anything...the ones they love and care for have been tortured and killed. I can't imagine any sort of reasoning stopping them. Especially if you rescued a whole group."

Gradually he moved her hand off his chest. "I don't care if you think they can't be handled. Sitting here and letting them be treated like that isn't acceptable. They will respect me. Chippequoti aren't void of love either and I don't think you understand that."
"That was not the point I was making. I know full well they are capable of love...if anything they probably love their mates more deeply than any human could. That's exactly why they'd want war and on a massive scale. I can imagine what it would be like to lose you permanently, and the amount of anger I would have towards the people who did it. Hell, if I were them...I might want it too. I'm not saying we don't rescue them...I'm saying we be careful, check and double check all the options, all the scenarios. Cause if we don't, thousands of innocent people could be killed."
Killian settled down a little bit when Star finally admitted that not all the Chippequoti were bad. At least she could see something and she wasn't 100% against getting them out. "Well whose to say that there won't still be the ones that they care about to be left? Would have never thought that we would have had another chance."
Star shrugs. "Maybe you're right. I really hope you are. But we should have a plan for if things go south. What will we do if they don't listen and start a mass massacre?"
"Then we hope it's in the right place that they start the massacre. Besides where could it be better than where we release them. Direct access to the nobles prisons and the link to their wealth. Maybe even a way to get to the nobles themselves." Killian was almost pleased with the idea.
"Maybe." Star sighed lightly as she lay back. She still didn't like it at all. The situation in its entirety was dangerous and risky. Add to that Sasha was in the background with her own motives, while the Chippequoti would have motives of their own no matter what Killian said to them. Up till now this war had been mostly defensive. The moment those Chippequoti were loosed, the war would erupt and everything would become far more dangerous and violent than it already had been.
The last thing she wanted was her family stuck in the middle of it...but that was exactly where they were. "I hate this..." She admits quietly. "I hate that our family seems to constantly be stuck in the middle of one war or another...and we're forced into situations we can't ignore." She swipes away a frustrated tear. "I can't lose you Killian...but this whole situation is just going to make that 40% more likely, if not more."
She looks at him confused. "What? No...I don't mean lose you mentally...I mean physically. This whole situation...it just puts you in that much more danger of being killed."
"Oh..." Killian laid back in the bed and sighed. "Well I think of it this way. I'm just as likely get put out here at home as I am in a ship, or making a raid."
"That is not comforting. And I think its far less likely here at home now that you've dealt with Clay's men."
"How do I know that one of these times there won't be a mole somewhere?" Rolling to his side again he gently rested a hand on her. "I can't die till its my time anyway. Obviously with the poison it wasn't time so I'll just do what I have to till I drop."
"Again...not very comforting." Star shakes her head, and snuggles close enough to rest her head on Killian's chest, holding him close. "I know you have to do this...doesn't mean I'm not going to be worried sick every time you step out that door. Knowing you're taking every precaution possible, like some of that fancy new gear and shields...that will help make it a little easier."
"Fine then," Killian rubbed her back a little. "I'll let you do the gear searching so you feel comfortable with me wearing it." He figured she wouldn't be happy unless she was the one to pick out what he wore on raids.
"I already have the gear in mind." She smirked.
"Huh....How did I have a feeling that you would." He could have rolled his eyes and yet it was a little funny at the same time. "She left you a number for contact and I put it in the breadbox."
Star groaned in annoyance. "Why would I ever want to call her?"
"To find out where they are keeping the Chippequoti and to do your research. I know you won't trust me cause I'd go no matter what."
She sighed. "Great, so I get to be in charge of helping you run into a dangerous situation...again. At least I'll get to help you navigate the best possible route and battle plan."
"Exactly." Killian couldn't help some of the excitement in his voice. "We'll get to do what needed to be done a long time ago. You make a great partner in crime."
She groaned again. "And just when I thought we were finally settling down a little."
"We will!" Star was sometimes so strange and he didn't understand her.

************************************************************

The sky was finally mostly clear of the ash, and the sun (though dulled by the ash in the atmosphere) was showing once again. Everything was still covered in a thick layer of ash and people wandered out of their homes, masks still covering their faces as they worked to sweep the garden clear of the ash in order to set up the greenhouses and begin planting again. Star was inside on her data pad diligently researching everything she could with the information given to her by Sasha. She'd been overly curt with the woman on the phone but she hadn't seemed to care, which just made Star more annoyed.

According to Sasha, the Chippequoti that hadn't already been sold as or put in the games were being kept on a desert planet strictly used for mining beneath ground. Above the ground, the sun was near lethal during the day causing for minimal planet and animal life. Thus the majority of the operation was underground where the Chippequoti worked, slept and ate in secluded dark environments. There was a moderate amount of guards in each section of the mine with hundreds of other sorts of slaves scattered about. The best way Star could see to get in quietly was the transport ships that carted away the crystals once every two months. It was heavily guarded but if Killian and the crew could take it over before it reached the planet, they'd have a much better chance of getting in and using stealth fighting to work their way through the mines with minimal resistance.

Star jotted down a few notes then looked up as the sound of ship landing reverberated through the house.
In the distance a familiar ship landed in the shipping yard. On its side the name “Comet.” So Timo had decided to come after all. "Killian...Timo is here." She says somewhat shocked. After the two had left things last time, she hadn't exactly been expecting to see the boy again.

The ramp lowered and 20 or so refugees, men, women and children shuffled out of the ship, looking shell shocked. They stared in awe at their new home, and at the ash that covered the ground like snow. Timo approached Killian as he and the other colonists met the new group. “You told me to bring any refugees, so I did. Most everyone here has some sort of experience building and managing a colony. There’s eight more people on the ship. Five of them are severely wounded, the other two are nurses and one is a doctor. I’ve also brought some supplies to help supplement your own with the new influx of refugees until you’re able to get more of your own.”

Timo looked to the side, and looked like he was about to eat a lemon. “I’m uh...I’m sorry for the way I spoke with you last we met. You’re right that I still don’t know much about my place in this world...but...I think I’ve found it by doing this. I’d like to become your supply ship...if you’ll let me. Like, legitimate supplies. Tell me what you need, give me the credits and I’ll make sure to get it and more if possible.”
 
Killian couldn't help starting to feel a little annoyed. He'd waited a long time for Star to say anything and it was taking her forever to track down the information. Part of him wondered if she was dragging her feet just because she didn't want him out there or if it was because of the information itself. If they had contact information how long could it take her to come up with an idea and she already knew what kind of gear he needed.

While he was outside working on the new storehouse building the distinct rumbling of a ship came in. Setting down the tap measure he almost dropped his half of the framing on the other worker till they yelled, "Hey!" Almost irritably Killian grabbed a hammer and nail then slammed the nail through the boards with one blow. "There its fixed now." It didn't matter if it was crooked or not. Whoever just landed wasn't anyone he had been expecting and that meant they were found again. Killian was getting tired of this random discovery stuff and he was pretty sure that he needed to set up an alert type system that would give them time to respond to incoming aircraft. They were just building this planet, but there was still plenty of risks that they faced everyday not including possible intruders.

The ship came open and more people came out. Instantly he knew it was Timo and the name of the ship gave that away too. After the last conversation he hadn't really expected the boy to come back much less trust him with these people. Obviously Timo cared very much about people and Killian was both shocked and flattered that the boy would trust him with their lives. Considering the fact that Killian was thinking about taking on a highly risky mission he was wondering how well placed that trust was now.

Patiently Killian waited until the boy approached him and neither of them seemed to like this anymore than the other. Undeniably Timo had done his part quite well and he was offering some direly needed services. Ones that Killian hadn't the time to train some of the other men to do. Sighing he peered into the boy's eyes. "Damn it Timo! How do you always...." Glancing away from the boy he couldn't help the growing smirk and pulled the kid into a bear hug. "You little bastard. Every time I think I get rid of you, you just come back to bite me in the butt." There was hardly words for the frustration and the fact that Killian was still glad to see him. "Yeah I need you. Need you train a few of my men for that work too. We'll need a fleet to do that, but for now it'll be just you." Releasing the boy from the hug he gave him a hard pat on the back. "C'mon, Star will want to see you and I need a little input on a project we're working on."
 
Timo was shocked by the hug and the somewhat friendly greeting but was also relieved. He'd spent days debating whether or not to bring them here but eventually it was the majority vote by the refugees that had swayed him. They all liked the idea of joining a human colony on a currently safe planet. So, here he was. Timo nearly topples from Killian's bear pat but catches his feet and followed him to the house where Star stood waiting at the door, the priceless grin on her face.
"Long time no see, kid. You don't call, you don't write?" She pulls him in for a tight hug. "You trying to make your mama worry?" She chuckled lightheartedly.
Timo smiles and returns the hug, standing taller than her now. "No..sorry. Been pretty busy."
"Yeah, I see that. Well, come on in...I'll make you hot chocolate and you can tell me all about it."

The two spend the next hour exchanging stories and updating eachother on life. Finally Timo brings up the matter at hand and looks over at Killian. "So...what's this project you need input on?"
"Its another rescue mission. The chippequoti are being shipped off their planet, isolated, and sent to work the mines on Hist." She says.
"Oh yeah...I heard about that. The attacks on the colonies have slowed quite a bit because of that. The nobles are all distracted and putting all their resources towards buying one of the "rare tamed" chippequoti." Timo looks between them. "You're seriously thinking about rescuing them? It'll be a blood bath."
"We're considering all the options, Timo." Star sighs.
"So...what's the plan? Doesn't Hist have like a toxic sun and atmosphere?"
Star nods. "Which is why the invading crew will have to land at night." She told them what she had so far as a plan. It was somewhat vague, being that she didn't have the exact details of the layout and the number of guards.
"Wait...so...you want to use my transport ship?" Timo asks incredulously.
"No...for the plan to work the transport ship that the mining colony uses needs to be hijacked and filled with our own crew. Once the mine is clear, then the other ships can fly in and pick up the slaves before the sun comes up or backup arrives."
 
Killian let Star do the explaining, she was always better at this sort of thing and he wasn't really surprised by the boy's reluctance to immediately volunteer. "Yeah well the deal goes two ways." Glancing at Timo a little grin came to his face. "You said you wanted to transport and I need you to be ready to help me. Besides I think that Chippequoti and humans are compatible when they need to be." Somehow he had a feeling that Timo may not like that statement, but Killian was pretty sure it would work.

"Lets say you lead the group of transports. I'll provide the rest of the ships and pilots." This was where he knew that he was taking a chance. The boy could leave him on the planet with the rest of them. Still he didn't figure that Timo would leave him there and ever face Star again. "I won't get off that planet till the last Chippequoti is loaded into the ships. You won't have to worry about any of them getting mouthy either from what I've heard." There was a mental debate going on too. Killian knew he couldn't control them and if they were all in a ship with him then he was sure they would behave. For a human? That was debatable.

*****************************************************************

That night Killian got into the bed with Star. "How's Claire doing?" He'd noticed the baby was crying still and it seemed to be more than usual. Dr. Witteck was due for his baby and mom check up pretty soon. This was perhaps the one reason that Killian had been a little nervous about taking the mission so early. If the girl was going to be sick he didn't want to leave.

To make it all worse now he had strangers besides Timo who had come to stay. Timo was in one room with a few of his crew and the rest of his crew piled into another room and a few of the injured were in the last room. Claire was sharing their room still and it felt odd to share his space. He couldn't help disliking the arrangement. To make all matters worse they had to load a few of the ships with some of the refugees in better condition and the doctor was staying on the couch. Killian wasn't even sure if he could whisper to Star and still have privacy or if someone would be eavesdropping. "Do you have the gear lined out for that job yet?" It was best to be careful about saying anything. Based on past reactions he was nervous about bringing it up and he still wanted to get there eventually.
 
Timo stared at Killian somewhat incredulously. "You want me...to put a bunch of Chippequoti on my ship? What if they decide they don't like my crew. You alone were able to take out an entire crew! How much more so 5 or more of them!? I can't agree to do it without a guarantee that me or my crew won't be harmed by them."
"We could...knock them out..." Star suggest, looking up at Killian. "Make everyone go through a decontamination chamber but gas the chippequoti? Only problem is...if just one chip sees another go down, they'll all attack no doubt."

********************************************
Star had just laid Claire back down after another feeding but the poor girl would either spend hours crying or laying lethargically. "Not good. Something is definitely wrong. She's losing weight and she'd not acting right." Star replies worriedly to Killian's question. She was glad that Witteck would be arriving soon, but it wasn't soon enough in her opinion. What if their precious little girl had a virus or something?

She lays beside Killian as he asked about the gear. "Um, yeah...its ordered with some extra shields for the rest of the crew. You just need to pick them up at the station on your way to the planet." Star was beside him but her mind was far away as she worried about the refugees, and Claire and Killian, and the job they were about to do. She felt sick from it all. There was too much to worry about.
 
Of course Timo was going to think of the exact little detail that so far had Killian hung up. "Uh...Yes I expect you to haul a bunch of Chippequoti." It only got worse. Timo wanted guarantees that Killian couldn't give him and then Star wanted to try and knock them all out. If the gas didn't work or caused harmful side effects....His eyes widened slightly at the suggestion and thankfully Star caught on. "I'll have to think of something." Killian sighed and started to pick at the cast on his arm. So far the arm was healing well and when the doctor came he was probably going to get the cast off. "Timo, there will never be a guarantee. I wouldn't do this if I thought that I would lose all my ships and the majority of my best men. If they do revolt and kill everyone I'm stranded on that planet or I'll be uh......" Cutting the idea short he decided not to say it. Star was already touchy as it was. "I still need to get this arm checked again and we have a few things before it comes to that." He could hope for now that Timo would at least be willing to hear further plans.

*********************************************************************************************

Dr. Witteck arrived 2 days earlier than he was expected. He got a call from Killian who seemed to be rather insistent that he come early and from the further description provided by Star it was quite disturbing. A baby should not be acting like that at nearly 3 months old. Anxiously Killian stood out on the edge of the landing field. He knew that the doctor should be landing anytime now. Little Claire had even stopped crying for a whole day and slept most of it. Part of that had worried him. When baby's stopped crying all together it was bad news. Not that Killian knew anything about babies, but he took the cue from Star who was hovering over the child almost night and day. There was nothing further that Killian could do besides try to rush the doctor so he submerged himself in his work.

Finally the ship broke the barrier and he waved the doctor over to the nearest landing spot. Before Witteck could get off the ship Killian was rushing up the ramp to gather his material. "Baby stopped crying yesterday."

The doctor was mostly surprised, but he let the Chip carry the equipment though a few seconds shorter likely wouldn't make that much difference at this point. His jaw dropped open and he almost warned the Chip against picking up equipment with the broken arm, but it should have been mostly healed by now so he let it be for the time. Considering circumstances it was best if he looked at the baby first. Ambling quickly as his old joints would take him the middle aged Doctor almost had to groan. The Chippequoti no matter how many times he'd been nearly killed still moved at break neck speed for nearly everything. They were a hardy and fiery people. In fact since this one's appearance there were more in this system though they were quickly sold from the block and never seen again. It had become rare to even see them in the games unless there was a fellow Chip that they put on the opposing side. It had become quite brutal and watching them kill one another was an ugly thing.

Inside the house the doctor immediately picked the baby up and peered into her eyes. They were not healthy bright green like her father or mother's. Both parents had green eyes and they weren't dull. It was as if someone was sucking the life out of the child. Putting a stethoscope to her chest he listened for a few moments. "Her heart rate has become a bit slower and her breathing is faster." Peeling the shirt up on the child he poked at her belly and that only seemed bring on a set of wails that he hadn't anticipated. Resting the stethoscope on the baby's stomach he listened for a few moments.

Killian watched the doctor with narrowed eyes. He wanted to be sure there was nothing missed and he wanted to be here when the doctor said what was wrong. It seemed to be taking the man a while to come up with something. "Well?" Stepping next to the doctor he peered into the man's face. "What is it?"

"She's malnourished. Her body needs something more than what she's getting nursing." Pointing to the baby's stomach he sighed. "It's distended and that's not from over eating. Somehow her body is still starving." That made him wonder how the father had survived among humans as baby if the story was true. "What were you given as a baby?"

"Formula. My mother left some with the whore and then I was fed regular food starting at the age of one and a half." Killian didn't know what the man was getting at. "Does she need formula?"

Dr. Witteck shook his head. "I can't design one fast enough or even guarantee that I would find the ingredients needed in time. Are you ready to risk a procedure?" He hated that it had come to this, but it was maybe the only way to save the child and the mother had expressed a desire for the procedure only about a month ago. By now Killian should be in the health that he could drill into the bone. "Both of you will need the help. Killian I imagine that we'll have the crib put on your side of the bed so you can get the baby up in the night and change her."

At the mention of changing the diapers Killian's nose wrinkled. "I don't know how." So far he'd eluded that particular learning curve with some style and cunning though it was impossible at this point.

"Well then I'll show you how to properly change the diaper while she's dry so there is now way for you to mess up." The doctor nodded and began his instruction to peel the edges open and pull it open. "Then you grab the baby by the ankles and lift her bottom in the air. Suspend her there while you grab a wipe that should be nearby and package open. Wipe her rear end and be sure to clean all her parts carefully."

Even if there wasn't any mess Killian winced through most of it and he barely got the diaper back on her before an involuntary shudder took over. "Ugh...How long is that gonna be my duty?"

A broad grin came to the doctor's face. "Oh you'll be doing that for a few weeks. My last patient had debilitating growing pains for just a few weeks and even a little bit of time past your leg being healed enough to walk on." While the doctor hated to do the procedure again he knew it would need to be done. "I'll have a room prepared on my ship in a few hours. Both of you get showered and come on board my ship where you'll wash up again before I have you go under. If you have anyone here who could act as my assistant that would be most helpful. Also you will need someone to watch the baby overnight."

**************************************************************************************************

They didn't get dinner that night and Killian couldn't help grimacing. He only had one week left with the cast and he would be laid up instead of being able to get everything done. Not to mention he hated the feeling in his leg after the doctor drilled into it. Still he knew the worst of it would be for Star. She would have the growing pains and they were excruciating. Perhaps her bones wouldn't be as sensitive as his own.

When they laid down on the beds Killian reached across and grabbed Star's hand. "Nothing to worry about. Tomorrow we'll go home and Claire will be there." Even he was nervous. What if the poison immunity did kill Star? What if she got too sick and never recovered her health? Could her body accept his bone marrow transplant? None of those questions stuck long as he started to fall asleep and then it was all black. A few dream played over and over of Star grabbing the baby and walking away only this time he knew they were going to kidnap Claire. She couldn't hear him when he tried to call her back or warn her. Claire's little curls still waved ludicrously in the wind and her bright eyes watched without any kind knowledge of what would happen.

Suddenly it all ended as quickly as it had begun. The horrible aching pain in his leg and the burning incision forced his attention to reality. Killian could feel where the drills had gone to steady the bone and where the doctor sawed it open and scraped marrow out. Staples in the bone held it together and there was a slightly smaller incision on Star's leg where they had opened her bone and transplanted the marrow. Wincing a little he sat up in the bed. "Is she awake yet?" That was so far the greatest concern.

Even with his leg propped up Killian fought to get himself leaning far enough forward to catch a look at Star's face. He wasn't about to take the doctor's word for it. Holding onto the railing on the edge of his bed the Chip tilted his head and craned his neck to be sure he could see her face before hissing quietly. "You awake?"
 
"I'm want to stay a few days longer and make sure the refugees are settling in alright." Timo replies with crossed arms. "And I'll hear out the rest of your plan. But if you can't come up with anything better than "we hope they won't attack" or "I'm taking the same risk" I'll have to respectfully decline."
*****************************************************************************************
"She's malnourished. Her body needs something more than what she's getting nursing." Pointing to the baby's stomach he sighed. "It's distended and that's not from over eating. Somehow her body is still starving."

"Starving!?" The word hit Star like a dagger to her heart. Her own baby was starving because of her inability to provide the nutrients needed for a Chippequoti? She dropped to her seat on the bed devastated. She couldn't even take care of her own baby. She should've noticed the signs earlier. Claire had been suffering for weeks and she hadn't even known! The heavy weight of guilt on her heart nearly made her sick. Killian and the Doc talked about formula but it sounded like he couldn't make one in time. She looked up at him startled. She was that close to death? If he couldn't make a formula...then... "Are you ready to risk a procedure?" For the sake of Claire yes...though the thought of the procedure itself terrified her.

The doctor was now showing Killian how to change Claire's diaper. How sad was it that it was taking their daughter nearly and her going under for a painful procedure for him to take on the responsibility. She would've smiled over the amusing look on his face but her heart was too heavy. What if it didn't work? What if the procedure didn't take, or what if it wasn't enough? Her baby was going to die..."Oh you'll be doing that for a few weeks. My last patient had debilitating growing pains for just a few weeks and even a little bit of time past your leg being healed enough to walk on." Debilitating growing pains? She couldn't imagine anything being worse than birth. Was she really going to be stuck in bed for nearly a month? That sounded awful. And with her nursing there were only certain types of pain meds he could give her. God save me....

"I'll have a room prepared on my ship in a few hours. Both of you get showered and come on board my ship where you'll wash up again before I have you go under. If you have anyone here who could act as my assistant that would be most helpful. Also you will need someone to watch the baby overnight."
"We know people who can help with both." Star replies softly. Her first words spoken since this nightmare had started. Timo had brought with him a couple nurses and a doctor and Lisa would be more than happy to watch over Claire. She gathered the needed items for Claire. As her hand moved to pack the normal human baby formula, she almost broke down. Not even this was going to feed her baby the way she needed. Maybe stem off the hunger for a bit but... She took a breath. Now was not the time to break down. She needed to be strong for Claire and Killian who was looking extremely nervous. That and his heart rate had begun to steadily climb since being shown how to change a diaper. Star took the supplies and the lethargic Claire over to Lisa and knocked on the woman's door.

"Star! What a welcome surprise!" She said cheerily, but upon seeing her friend's face immediately looked concerned and ushered the distraught mother in. "What's happened? Did you and Killian..."
"No, no. Nothing like that." She set the bags down and held Claire close to her chest, her eyes welling up with tears. "Um, I need you to watch Claire for tonight and maybe part of tomorrow."
"Of course! What's going on?"
"Claire's uh...she's uh starving to death. I'm not able to..." She couldn't say any more as her throat closed up and her face twisted in anguish. Lisa sat her down and made a hot cup of tea, though Star couldn't have gotten it down if she tried. "Dr. Wittick is here to do a procedure that may be able to help...but it requires putting Killian's bone marrow in me."
"Isn't that a little dangerous?" Lisa asks astonished.
Star nods. "We know someone it worked on already...but...his situation was different. I don't know if this will be enough to help Claire or not...but we don't have any other options at the moment."
"Oh, Star. I'm so sorry. Anything you need. I'm here." Lisa wrapped her in an awkward hug, being careful not to squish Claire.

Frank pushed through the door carrying an armful of wood. "Star! Hello! Did Lisa tell you the grand news yet!?"
Star looked up at him confused and Lisa got a sympathetic smile on her face. "What news Lisa?" It was then she noticed the ring on her hand. Star wiped away her tears and Frank was standing awkwardly realizing he'd burst in on a tender moment. "Oh, Lisa. Congratulations. I'm happy for you." Star manages a tight smile.
"Yes, well. This is a wonderful surprise but..." She looks over at Frank. "I uh, was going to tell you...tonight actually...but uh, I'm pregnant. About 3 months in now...I wanted to wait to tell everyone just in case...I lost it."
Star smiles a little brighter and squeezes Lisa's hand. "That is so exciting. I'm so happy for you two. I know how much you've been wanting this."
Lisa nods and stands with Star. "When do you have to go?"
"I really should go now. Take care of her?" Star passes the babe off to Lisa, stroking Claire's curls tenderly...and horrible feeling of guilt washing over her again.
"Hey, everything is going to fine. You'll see." Lisa hugs her again.
"Yeah...I hope so." Star swiped away another tear. "See you soon." She hurries away to shower and meet Dr. Wittick.
***********************************************************************************************************
Star trembled as she lay in the bed waiting for the Doctor to come in and star the procedure. The refugee nurse, Shanti, was wandering around making sure everything was ready. Killian reached over and grabbed her trembling hand, holding it tightly. "Nothing to worry about. Tomorrow we'll go home and Claire will be there." Star nodded. She wasn't convinced it would be that simple. So many fears and worries were rushing through her mind. This was almost more nerve wracking than birth. Their baby's life was on the line. Dr. Witteck comes in dressed fully in scrubs and Shanti starts the I.V. Star watches Killian till the last possible second till the trembling abates and her eyes close.

A voice calls to the deep recesses of Star's mind. Everything was black. Where the voice was...there was pain. She could sense it. She wanted to retreat back into the dark but the voice continued to call out, drawing her mind to consciousness. The beeping of the heart monitor seemed extremely loud and annoying. She took a deep breath opening her eyes slowly, blinking at the lights in the ceiling. She heard Killian's voice and she turned her head to better see him, catching glimpse of both their legs suspended slightly. Her entire thigh throbbed with every heartbeat, despite the painkillers that she knew where still in her system. "Hey..." She says hoarsely. Shanti comes over with a bottle of water and helps her drink then leaves it beside her hand for easy access. The nurse does the same for Killian then moves around the room doing various tasks. "What time is it?"
"Around 10pm." Shanti replies. She had a thick foreign accent that was hard to understand. Perhaps that was why she didn't talk much.
Star glanced back at Killian, nodding as he asked how she was doing. "Leg aches...but its bearable. How's yours? Did he do the incision in the same spot as before?"
 
Killian was relieved to see Star awake. True this was the time when they would be waiting to see if her body accepted it or not. The only odd discovery that the doctor had found with the Chippequoti was that their blood and bone marrow was actually a universal donor type and it didn't even have a positive or negative quality. It had been a very strange discovery though it was so far proving to be effective. It was as if it took on whatever quality it needed for the time. Yet even that understanding didn't comfort Killian. What if the poison killed Star, that immunity might be too much for her. Witteck had said there was some increased risk though it would only be slight. As for the baby that was the real risk.

Taking the bottle from the nurse Killian only sipped at it. He was feeling sick and it was hard to even want to eat anything when his leg hurt like this. "Do we head home tomorrow?" The nurse nodded and he gingerly laid back making his best attempt not to move the leg at all. Just as he started to get semi comfortable Star returned his question. "I wouldn't say its bearable....it has to be though." Grinning a little it was soon replaced with a scowl. "Ugh....I think he did it in the same spot."

It was almost dawn when the nurse got up to check on them again and give a little more pain medication. Killian sat straight up when she touched the dressing on his leg. "Ow!" He glared at the woman even though his eyes had teared up slightly. "My gosh do you have to try and rip my leg off?" Glancing down at where her hand was he groaned and laid back. She'd barely touched him and here he was complaining already. "Never mind." Throwing one arm over his eyes he grit his teeth and waited for her to finish before she went over to Star.

By mid afternoon it was time to get moved back to the house. Having a few guests in the house was especially unnerving when they were both down. Killian wanted to sleep with a gun under his pillow or something that could be considered a weapon. Of course Dr. Witteck wasn't about to allow that because in their current condition he couldn't trust their judgement 100%.

Dr. Witteck put a hand on Star's head and frowned. Pulling out the thermometer he scanned her head with it and waited for the reading. She was reacting a little faster than his last patient. It could have been in part due to the body size difference, gender, or the fact that she was healthier. Kato's body had some delayed responses. Pulling out another scanner he hovered it over her leg. It was already taking root and her body was synthesizing it very quickly. "You may experience symptoms faster than my past patient. Tell me how do you feel so far?"
 
It was good to be back in her own house and in her own bed but her leg was extremely tender and painful. She'd never broken a bone before but she imagined this is what it would feel like. Star looked up at Wittick as he checked her temperature. She felt warmer than normal and kept pulling off layers of blankets. "I could be better." She grumps. "A little sick. I just want to sleep."
*********************************
Only a few days in and Star felt like she had the worst case of the flu she'd ever experienced. Her entire body ached, a high fever made it difficult to get comfortable and the nausea made it impossible to keep any food down. She kept drifting between a pain filled consciousness and a restless sleep. During her moments of lucidness Wittock hovered around her looking worried. She tried to ask about Claire and Killian but it was hard to tell if anything she was saying was coming out as more than a moan. Star wasn't processing half of what was going on around her and briefly she noted that this wasn't unlike the time she'd first begun waking up from her coma.

Time meant nothing. There was pain and sleep. At one point she remembered a foul smell, and a warm wet covering her chest and cheek. It took a moment but she realized she'd thrown up all over herself. Shanti appeared at her side and began to clean her up, gently lifting her and changing her before continuing with the sponge bath. It was frustrating feeling like this and being so useless.

She didn't know how long her feverish state lasted, but by time it broke she was completely exhausted, feeling like she'd just survived a war with the grim reaper. Wittock was talking with Shanti and Killian was laying by her side. He looked like he was sleeping. She looked over at Wittock. "Claire..." Her main concern. How was Claire? She didn't remember feeding her at all during the last few days.
 
Witteck had watched Star attentively during the last few days. He had the nurses use breast pumps to get bottles for the baby since that would require less weight on Star's chest and her breathing had been sporadic at best. Once the fever broke it seemed that the worst of it was over for her. Then it would probably revert to only the growing pains which he knew would start soon enough and the added weight.

Seemed that her first concern was the baby and he smiled. "She's fine. Gaining weight and the fever she got from the extra antibodies only lasted 2 days. Like the Chippequoti she did get some of the seizures and she is more prone to them. However, they were not as severe as her father's." Seemed that there was considerably less difficulty with a half Chippequoti child than he thought. "Claire has been eating like a little champion and she's even accepted the bottle from Killian though I will admit that the first night we had to have the nurse feed her. Little stinker wouldn't have food from a man only a woman was acceptable." Dr. Witteck waited for Star to seem more contented before he continued. "In a few days we'll start having you move around as you can manage. I'm afraid that to start it will feel difficult and possibly painful."

******************************************************************

Killian was getting tired and irritable the longer he had to take care of the baby all by himself. Claire didn't need food at night, but she would fuss till he pulled her out of the crib to share his bed. The baby didn't want to be left alone and even then she fussed while laying on his chest. Best he could figure was that Claire had started growing pains again.

Changing diapers was still his task and he was trying to think of some way to be sure that the Chippequoti wouldn't attack Timo. The boy was right. He was doing what was best for himself and his crew so Killian had to find a way to make it worth their while. He'd noticed that Star was starting to get a little thicker though not by much. She still had female genetics that wouldn't allow her to look like a man and that was good. Unfortunately that meant that he would have to take her shopping for an all new wardrobe. As that idea struck he groaned. "Oh no." Reaching into the crib he pulled Claire out and held her. It felt good to have the cast off now and he could actually move his arm as he needed. "Ok little rat. Time to eat."
 
Star was relieved to hear that the treatment was working and Claire was improving though the revelation about her little baby having seizures startled her. She calmed a little as Wittick continued. He didn't seem too concerned so there was no reason for her to be. Then he mentioned having her start moving. Normally she would've been glad too but tenderness of her bones made that sound like an extremely uncomfortable task.
*****************************
The next few days were spent sleeping and recovering her energy. When she woke up this morning the sun was shining through the window and Killian was holding Claire and feeding her. They hadn't talked much since the procedure due to her sleeping the days away. Her body had begun to feel heavy and the pains in her bones were steadily increasing. The last thing she wanted to do was move around like this.
Despite the image she couldn't help but smile at the precious image of her now healthy babe eating in Killian's arms. He looked tired. She wanted so badly to reach a hand out to him, but even the small movement of turning her head was difficult and painful. "Hey. How's the leg?"
She smiled lightly and gestured with her chin to Killian feeding Claire. "She's looking much better. Wittick said it's working. What a relief."
*******************************
Star groaned as Shanti helped her sit up. Every spot that the nurse touched her felt like a horrible burn. Wittick was standing close by to help. Every movement was like trying to lift heavy weights. "Should I be this heavy?" She asks in concern. Even her fingers and ribs were heavy. Her hips and thigh were especially tender. Sounded like Kato had gone through the same thing, and now he looked like a body builder. "God, that better not happen to me. I like my figure."

With Shanti's and Wittick's help she was put on her feet, nearly crumbling from the added weight and pain. Pained tears smarted in her eyes amd trickled down her cheeks as they forced her to walk a few steps. "I'm done...im done. Sit me down." She pleads. Wittick wanted her try a little longer but the pain was too much and she shook her head. They finally sit her down.

"Sh**. There's 3 more weeks of this!?" And she may very well get a bit heavier before it was done!? Torture... Shanti lay her back down and help put the covers around her.
"I'm afraid I'll not be able to remain here much longer. There are other patients in urgent need of my services." Dr wittick says as he does one more extensive exam and reviews her bloodwork.
"But shanti is very well trained and she'll keep a good eye on all of you as well as update me regularly on your condition."
Star nods slowly. "Thank you for all you've done for our family. And saving Claire."
Wittick nodded. "It's my pleasure."
 
Killian turned toward Star while he was feeding the baby. He hadn't thought she woke up even though the watches would have said they had to remove them for the surgery and Star didn't get hers on yet. No doubt her wrist her too much for it. So Killian only had his on because he knew he would lose it otherwise. "So uh...." The baby grabbed his shirt and squealed with indignance anytime he tried to move with her during the feeding. "You little poop head I'm not taking the damn bottle anywhere." With a slight growl he adjust as best he could while ignoring the squeals from their daughter.

"Oh the leg still hurts like hell." He couldn't even do so much as twitch a muscle without it aching and with all the pain in the leg there were a lot of muscle spasms going on. It turned into an unhappy circle of events that he couldn't bear to participate in. Finally by the end of the feeding he was able to let Claire rest and he shifted to get a little closer to Star except he noticed the wince. "Oh yeah...I forgot." Her entire body felt like his leg. Last time that happened was with the poisoning and he hated every minute of it. The bones hurt and even having Star crawl into bed was horribly painful so he tried to keep that in mind and move as little as possible. About time they had Star getting up and moving around he was given a cane and told to walk.

Like usual Killian was reluctant to get moving at first. It was painful and he didn't like it. Still there wasn't much to do for it. A few of the patients that had been staying in the house were starting to walk around too. Whenever he got past the room he felt like he was in a sick ward. There were others walking around limping toward him, along the hall and through the living room.

Coming back into the room it was just in time to hear that Dr. Witteck was leaving. They still had a ways to go with Star and his own leg. Still Killian expected he would be taking himself outside with the aid of the cane in about 2-3 days. Taking a seat on the edge of the bed he gingerly moved his leg onto it so he could lay next to her. "The pain fades eventually and then it comes back randomly towards the end of the growth. After a while you get used to it and it doesn't seem as bad." Even though he couldn't really say that a person was ever used to pain it did fade into the background with time. "You think you'd be up to talking a little or does your jaw hurt too much? I have a few ideas of what we could do for the Chippequoti when we go to pick them up. Need to be working on something to get there and the next 3 weeks is the perfect time to be doing that."
 
Poor Killian. He had no concept on how to reassure people. His bluntness/honesty meter was much too high. While she appreciated his efforts to assure her about the pain, and while knowing what to expect did help a bit...it still wasn't very encouraging. Not that there was much he could do to help with pain anyway aside from not moving around too much. "What ideas did you have?" Star asks. She was amazed to find that her jaw was indeed tender. As was her skull. It seemed to be pressing in on her brain more and more everyday.
"Sounds stupid, but its the only thing I got. Tell the Chippequoti what I plan to do and see if they'll agree to it." Killian sighed. "I'll be wearing my watch and they'll all be free at that point. So you can tell if they try anything stupid and tell the men on the ships to get out of there."
"That is stupid." Star grumps. "Your whole plan hinges on whether or not they honor their agreement to adhere to your plan before getting on the ship. I wouldn't go for that...Timo sure as hell won't either."
"That is stupid." Star grumps. "Your whole plan hinges on whether or not they honor their agreement to adhere to your plan before getting on the ship. I wouldn't go for that...Timo sure as hell won't either."
She winces as she adjusts her neck. "I have a better idea. What if...we leave them ships to take for themselves. It risks losing a few ships...but its safer than them taking them over themselves and killing the crew members."

"Yeah and then they can shoot our ships down if they want and what if they don't recognize some of us?" Killian growled. "Then none of them can even talk if they need to make contact unless you think that they could write in a language that you know proficiently." She was coming up with ideas equally bad. "So...I was thinking about the talking thing and this is why. Have you ever had a Chippequoti lie to you about anything? They value straight forward honest answers. At least that's what I got when I was with them. Same way I like to do things. Anything less than telling them what I plan and they will revolt."

"I'm not saying you don't tell them what you plan, but I don't trust them to keep their agreement either. We only met a handful of them and we have no idea how much they lied about." Her jaw was hurting from the talking but she wasn't willing to let this matter settle yet till they had a plan that didn't rely on just hope and trust.
"You can easily disable the weapons on their ships and install a translation system with which they can communicate in their language to our language. If they decide to follow us back to the planet or wherever you plan to take them...then you know they probably intend to follow you. If they go off on their own...then they aren't our problem anymore."

"I can't afford to lose any of the ships we have." Still her idea worked somewhat. "Alright then if we do that what do we do when they reach the planet? You still don't trust them. We have to be able to trust them at some point and they have to trust us." As ugly as the gassing idea had been he was starting to think it might be the one way to do it. "What if you have a single gas chamber for all of us. I'll step in with them and Timo has to take lead from there. We'll test it to know how long it takes to wear off. If they trust me enough to get knocked out with me then we'll have something to work with. If they don't come with then we'll know we don't want them."

"Like what?" Killian stared at her. "I can't think of anything else. They won't go in willingly unless they think its safe. Once we're gassed you'll have a few minutes to get us all loaded and to the planet. Timo will still have to take charge while I recover and that depends on the effects of the gas or if I could build an immunity to it so I'll be awake before the rest of them."

"You say "you" like I'm going..." Star notes. "i can't go, someone has to take care of Claire and be there for her. Either way, just because we can't think of anything else right now...doesn't mean we won't. Its an ok plan...but its still not all that safe. I'm not willing to settle with this idea until we're absolutely certain its our only option."

"Yeah I said you cause I expect you will keep track of Timo." Killian only half trusted the kid. "He still thinks I'm a monster in part and I don't think he likes me all that well." Sitting up in the bed the baby started to whine and he winced. The leg was throbbing all over again. "Star, you know that Timo would't let any Chippeqouti on his ship unless it was me and even then its not likely. So having them knocked out is the only way he'd even consider them being on his ship or close to his person. He's gonna have to get over it at some point."

"I don't blame him for wanting to be cautious. Heck, I agree with him in part." She breathed a painful sigh, and relented, more so because she was tired and her jaw was killing her. "If you think thats the best move...then...let's figure out the best way to do it."

"Quickly is the best way. One whole ship used as a gas chamber when it's sealed off except for the captain's room and then carry us in there. Rest will be back up." Killian didn't know what else to do and the 'Comet' was the largest ship. "C'mon was I that different from the Chips when we met them? Just think of a whole bunch of people like me and its not half so bad."
Star chuckles lightly. "You forget that you took over entire ships on your own and killed crew members who didn't agree with you?"

"I had to get started in the business somehow." Killian knew his own record could be damning, but it was hopeful at the same time. "If we offer them what they want they won't feel the need to revolt against us. We take care of them, make sure they're ready to fight and take them on raids. Let me deal with them from there."
Star smiles lightly at him. She gingerly moved her hand closer to him, just needing to touch him, if only with a finger or two. "Ok. I trust you."

"It's all I could come up with that would gain their trust. I need an army and they'll be more than willing to do it." Killian knew that Star probably didn't like that thought. Still it was coming, the war whether they liked it or not. "Star I need you to be able to trust the Chippequoti as much as you can when we rescue them."
She frowned a little. "I'll try...but trust needs to be earned...its not so easily given."

"They'll be trusting us first. From there it might be uneasy on the planet and I know it." Killian knew that they hadn't killed those they considered lesser on their home planet, but they liked to make them serve in capacities that they considered lesser. "I think we'll have trouble with the hierarchy of blood. Probably wouldn't kill everyone on the planet as a first option." At least that much he'd gathered from when he had been on the planet and Star's one day of being upset and telling him all about his aunt's talk.

"Maybe we should just give 'em their own damn colony." Star grumps a little. The more they talked about this the less she wanted to rescue them. "Well, you'd better think of ways to deal with those problems if they arise. You might want to consider building a prison before we go get them...just in case one or more start causing trouble and don't listen to reason."

"If they cause problems I'll kill them. It's just that simple. No reason to make a prison if we won't be having anyone in them." Killian figured you could only talk once or twice and give folks their own way of life. "You think their own colony will fix the problem? Star they would find reasons to raid this one. Only reason I'd say that is because...well I would do something like that."
Star scoffed lightly. "I was exaggerating with the 'give them their own colony' bit. "This could turn into a huge mess really fast. A dozen or more chippquoti in the colony. There will be tensions on both sides. We may have to worry about our own colonists trying to kill them as well."
"Maybe brining them here is not a good idea."

"Where else do you suggest I take them?" Killian was starting to wonder how it would work. "I can't just leave them somewhere in the condition they will be in." Even though it was risky he knew that some of the people here were still frightened of him as well. Especially the newest members. "Ok then maybe we can figure out what it is that frightens people. Why are they afraid of me? Why were you afraid of me when we met?"

"Lack of morals for one." Star says seriously. "Though I didn't understand that's what it was at the time. You're powerful, large and tough. Nearly impossible to kill and have tendency to kill or beat up anyone who crosses your path. That is enough to terrify anyone who doesn't know you or isn't an ally. You know even Mike had a contingency plan in case you mentally broke and started going crazy on everyone."

Killian couldn't help starting to feel a little offended by Star's comments. "You make me sound like some murderous freak!" Plucking the baby from his chest he put her fussing into her crib. "I don't care if Mike had a contingency plan. He never gave me reason to kill him. You were reasonable enough to work with and I'm done talking about this." Groaning a little he rolled on the bed so he could reach over the edge and grab the cane. Hobbling toward the door he peered back at her and growled. "Maybe I'll just go live with them someplace else so you humans won't be bothered by our morals."

"Killian..." Star sighed and groaned inwardly as he stormed off. "Sorry..." She murmured. But that's the way it was.

*********************************************************
As the end of the 2nd week rolled around the growing pains did indeed seem to fade mostly to the back of her mind as she helped Killian continue to plan or slept, or watched movies on the datapad. Twice a day Shanti forced her to her feet, usually about the time she had to use the restroom and forced her to walk and move every part of her body to help build the muscle. She'd already noticed an immediate increase of muscle mass. None of her clothes fit anymore aside from her baggy sweats. Killian promised to take her shopping when they were both back on their feet. She was looking forward to that, but bemoaned the fact she wouldn't fit into that gorgeous green dress anymore. Her hips alone had grown at least two sizes. She almost liked the view of the muscles in the mirror, but the pain involved in growing them was so not worth it.

She'd just finished a seated shower and was limping back to the bed with Shanti's help. Killian was about to start feeding Claire again but Star stopped him. "I want to...I need to hold my baby for a bit." She didn't care about the pain it would cause right now. She needed to hold her baby. Once she was settled Killian passed Claire over. Every movement was difficult and the weight of Claire in her arms and on her chest was agonizing...but it was worth it. Claire was so much heavier than she remembered. Her last weighing came in at 15 pounds, a significant increase from the mere 8 pounds she had weighed two weeks ago.

Star smiled lightly. It was so good being able to hold Claire again and the babe seemed to think so as well with the many smiles she was giving her mother while feeding. "Oh, did you know Frank and Lisa are pregnant?" She asks Killian suddenly, regretting the sudden jerk of her head. "Oooh..." She moaned and winced as her bones protested.
 
Whether he was ready to walk outside or not that was exactly what Killian did. He'd just about had enough of this moral stuff. Star was so hoity toity about everything. Just too good and she married him out of what...pity? Had she really catered to the story of taming the beast? Wincing with every step he growled to himself and nearly stumbled a few times. At last he reached his ship. That was the only place where he could feel halfway sane about things. It was a safe place and he could feel like he was roaming if he turned it on. The ship had plenty of charge from the solar energy over the last few days.

Inside the ship he imitated her voice. "It's your lack of morals even though I didn't know it at the time. You're so big and tough and whatever else it was I said." Killian returned to his normal voice. "The hell did you want me for?" Batting his eyelashes he went on her voice. "Cause I always had a thing for the bad boy." Turning around and around in the navigation chair he mumbled under his breath till he noticed that it was getting dark and decided to spend the night in the ship. It was a little cold, but he had some blankets and...."Damn it all." He did have to go back to the house because Star couldn't take care of Claire and more than likely the kid needed someone to feed her again.

Cursing under his breath for most of the limp back to the house and he passed Mike who gave him the look. Knowing what Star had said about Mike only made him more angry. Everyone here did what he said and waited with baited breath. Like they wanted him to drop over dead or thought they should protect themselves against him. It all made sense now. Mike stayed close so he could off him. Whatever the contingency plan was it didn't involve any kind of weapon that was easily spotted.

********************************************************************************

Since he had been the one to ask Star Killian knew he shouldn't have been so mad. Still it was two weeks later and he was still angry. Mad with Star and Mike. At least Timo could show his disdain outright. Instead Star was trying go merrily along with her planning and it was so far following his thoughts that mixed some of her idea and his though he was starting to doubt leaving her in charge on this end. Maybe he would want to make contact with whoever gave them the information and have them run the operation. They might have more news and he knew where to find the numbers that she kept. Killian wasn't sure that he could trust Star with this part of it anymore. He wanted to know for himself what was going on.

Picking the baby up to feed her he heard Star ask for her and he passed Claire over to her. "Go ahead I got a few things I need to do." Star didn't like talking with them and he knew she kept the number that she'd been given last in her night stand. Just as he limped over to her night stand she was giving him her nice news and he grinned momentarily. "Oh that's nice." Pulling the drawer open he grabbed the number and started limping for the doorway.

There wasn't any reason to hide what he was doing and it didn't matter. He wasn't much good at lying so he wasn't going to bother trying. "I'm gonna call for myself and see what's going on. Be back in a few hours."
 
Star frowned as he left...again. They only time he came in now was to sleep and take care of Claire. But even when he was here...he wasn't. He was giving her the cold shoulder...big time. And every time she tried to bring the matter up to talk about it, he found some sort of excuse to leave or just blow off the conversation all together. It was hard enough suffering alone through these growing pains, being unable to do much more than sit or stand for short periods of time, without him treating her like some sort of devil for asking his question honestly. Perhaps...it had been too honest...but sometimes he was so thick he didn't see what was right in front of his face.

When she'd finished with Claire, she held the baby on her chest to burp her. Her arms were burning from holding the baby so long...she'd only wanted her for a few minutes, but Killian was acting like a baby himself right now. There was a loud gurgle and she gasped as Claire just threw up half up what she'd eaten all over her. "Oh...Claire..." She moaned, looking around for help. There was none to be found. Damn you, Killian. When I need you most you aren't here. This tantrum has gone on long enough. With an incredible amount of pain and effort Star got them both out of bed and cleaned off in the bath.

By time she'd gotten both herself and Claire in clean clothes she could barely move. Her leg especially felt like knives stabbing over and over. She lay back down, setting Claire beside her. Her vision spun and suddenly blacked out. When she came too, Claire was crying again and there was still no Killian. Tears sprang to her eyes. I need you. Where are you? Stop being a selfish brat. Star put a tender hand on Claire's chest. It smelled like a dirty diaper but she had no energy to change her. Another 20 minutes passed and Killian was still gone. Now she was getting pissed off. Did he not realize how much his temper tantrum was hurting her, physically and emotionally? Maybe he did...maybe it was purposeful. His way of punishing her for saying something he didn't like. She hadn't thought him to be that petty...but after 2 weeks of this crap...it was hard not to think that way.

With him still gone she had no choice but to grit through the pain and change Claire herself, which meant getting up and moving around the room for the needed items despite her leg not being fully healed yet. By the time she finished, she felt sick. Her face had gone pale and she was sweating profusely from the effort. She collapsed on Killian's side of bed after changing Claire (as that was the side with the changing table and items and baby rocker). She caught his scent on his pillow and tears of distress began rolling down her cheek.. Why are you ignoring me? I need you...do you not know how much I need you...now more than ever? You're my husband...you're supposed to love me, no matter what, not ignore me until you're no longer angry. How dare you act like a spoiled brat after the hell I've gone through for you...for us. Perhaps I was too harsh...and if I could reword things I would...but its too late now. Just come back to me...come back.
 
Killian came back after he'd finished the call and had a bit more information. It was about time to check on Claire again. Pushing the door open to the house he limped through and got all the same stares as before. He was sick of being watched in his own house. As soon as he walked through the door he saw Star was laying on his side of the bed and a dirty diaper was laying on the floor. Picking it up he took it to the trash can and then limped to her side of the bed. "So now you want to be obstinate and make me get up to take care of her at night."

She looked over at him wearily. "Obstinate? What the hell did I do to deserve this sort of treatment, huh?" With a pained groan she turned to look at him. "This tantrum ends tonight." She says sternly. "You left me alone...with Claire, for over two hours. I had to get up and clean throw up off of both of us and then change her a few minutes later...by myself. I'm only laying here because I'm in too much pain to walk or roll over to my side of the bed right now." Star took a pained breath. "You asked a question...and I answered it honestly. Maybe I should have been more thoughtful of your feelings. Heck, if I knew you were going to throw a fit like a baby I wouldn't have said a damn thing!" She was on a roll now. All the pain she'd been put through these last two weeks erupting. "I...am...your...wife! You do not get to treat me like a crew member and ignore me for two weeks when you don't like me! God, be a man and say something...but don't you dare leave me alone and make me feel like you don't love me. Don't do that."

"It's not a tantrum Star...I can't trust you." Killian glowered at her. "What do you think I'm supposed to do when I find out you knew Mike had a plan to kill me if he thought I went too far. What was too far?" Then she added the screamo wife statement and he sat up. "Yeah and I'm you're husband. I'm not supposed to be some kind of freak or alien that you married because....whatever your reasons were. Its supposed to be because we're compatible and I question that very deeply when I've had to think about the things you push and why. What have we gained from the things you wanted?"

She looked at him stunned. "After everything we've been through, after all the ways I have continually loved and accepted you, no matter what...you honestly think I married you out of ulterior motives?" Seriously? What had been going on in his head to create this dramatic of a reaction. "What I said with Mike happened months and months ago. After we lost your ship everything flipped upside down and backwards, it wasn't even a thought in my mind until you started asking what about you really frightened people. I gave you the truth. A man without morals is a terrifying person. Why do you think I've pushed so hard for it?"

"I've known Mike longer than I've known you and he was almost like a father to me. If he would kill me in a heartbeat then why should I trust you? You tried to kill me when that Kafus guy had your head all screwed up. How should I know what you're going to do." Killian got himself off the bed and shut their bedroom door. "All these people are wandering around in our house and I don't even know if they aren't going to try and stab me in the back. They don't like me and I know it."

Star gaped at him, tears welling in her eyes at the horrible words. "So, the fact that we've saved one another's lives dozens of times...that I bore your child, that I stuck with you through every horrible situation...that all means nothing now, right? One stupid series of words and suddenly none of what we've gone through matters? Why the hell did you marry me then if you didn't think you could trust me?"

"That's why I'm so damn upset." Rubbing the side of his head he stared at her. "I love you even if I don't want to right now. I'm scared spit-less every damn day since that guy poisoned me and I can't trust Mike anymore. It would be so easy if you just..." Killian knew it didn't make sense, but fear never did and he had plenty of it. "I've always done my best to be reasonable and people turn around and decide that they hate me for it. What did I ask any of these people here to do that was so hard? I don't make unrealistic tasks for these people to do and Clay still tried to kill me. Always gave Mike a fair cut and he had a contingency plan. None of those folks said what they wanted from me. How am I supposed to believe you?"

"Well..." Her voice was strained from her throat closing with emotion. "I'm not like other people...am I." She stared at the bed. "This is what happens when you let things fester and you don't talk about them. They turn into these horrible paranoia's that no one can convince you don't exist." She met his eyes. "You've gotten the short end of the stick more than most and gaining trust from people is much harder. That however does not mean that the town is out to get you. Honestly, most people love you here cause you either saved them from the games or from a life in prostitution. Just look at our house...they built all this just for us. One bad egg like Clay does not mean the whole colony is out to get you. And a contingency plan that Mike had once a long ago doesn't mean he wouldn't give his life for you now." She looked at him sternly. "And even if the whole world hated you and was out to get you...I'd hoped that I would be the one person you could continually trust in. But...I guess i'm just like all the rest of them...still under the influence of a monster far away...glad to know what you really think of me." She swallows bitterly, a tear rolling down her cheek.

"Now you pull out the tears." Killian turned his back to her. "I don't get it. I don't understand you. One day you say one thing and the next you're harping on me for the exact opposite. Maybe I'm paranoid and it would be for good reason. I'm used to being hunted and I still have bad days. You get dreams about Kafus I know you do. Star what I can't get is where you say things like you just did about me and then turn around to say I don't have morals. It's like you bought into the idea that I'm still a monster and I'm not. I never was. This is me. Its the same me that I was when we met. Now its different circumstances."

"I never said you didn't have morals now, Killian. I said back then...when we first met, the reason why it took so long to begin trusting you." She sighed deeply, wiping her face. "You're not a monster. I never thought you were though I thought you were a jerk sometimes." She breathes a pained laugh. "I'm sorry, Killian. I'm sorry that somehow I made you think that I still view you as some sort of monster or person not to be trusted. That couldn't be further from the truth. If anything that whole situation it morals and the like hasn't even been a thought on my mind in a long while. Not even through this whole situation with the Chippequoti cause I know you're fighting do to the right thing despite the risk to yourself. Forgive me already...please. I miss my husband."

"Ugh..." Letting his head hit the wall he felt it give way. "Oh hell." Of course he would stupidly put his head through the wall cause he forgot to make sure there was a stud behind it. Now he had a portion of the wall to fix too. She apologized and that meant he had to do the same. Killian stared at the dent for a moment and turned to face her. "Well then...I uh...Ok I"m sorry!" Throwing his hands in the air he couldn't help the moment of exasperation. "Its so easy for me to think the worst and I did. I'm sorry you got puked on cause I wasn't here for 2 damn hours. I'm sorry for all that other shit that I probably don't remember saying, won't remember saying, or wasn't here for."

She would've laughed at the comical display, but something far heavier weighed on her mind. Was he truly sorry...or was he just saying that to end the conversation. Did he still think so horribly of her? He'd essentially told her he didn't trust her not to stab him in the back at a moment's notice. And he clearly had some buried pain from her time of influence under Kafus that she'd thought they'd gotten past. She wasn't quite sure how to deal with that without opening a whole new can of worms. Suppose only time would tell if he really meant his half of the apology...or if he was going to continue treating her like a potential enemy. "Thankyou," She replies softly. This situation still wasn't fully resolved, but at least she'd finally got him talking again.

Killian limped back over to the bed and slept on her side that night. No matter how hard he tried it was almost impossible not to see betrayal everywhere. His mother left him with that prostitute and as much as he wanted to say it didn't matter that Sasha let him get beat up or that she left him it did matter. He wanted parents like any other kid. Street urchins didn't have much for promising lives and he made it one step further by becoming a smuggler. Killing folks wasn't as easy as Star made it sound like it was for him. Mike...Mike had been his best friend for years. There wasn't anything in the world that Killian wouldn't have done for the man and now he was the one that had planned to kill him all this time. Turning over in the bed he was partially glad for the fact that Star wouldn't want to cuddle. Just the thought of getting close to her again was scary. Logically he could tell himself that she was telling the truth, he could emotionally argue that he loved her and she felt the same and it still fell prey to the fear of what could or might be.

********************************************************************************************

Despite all his best attempts to try and act like the conversation never happened Killian was still finding himself wanting to leave whenever he had chance. His ship was perhaps the only little bit of refuge left. It didn't feel like the folks here felt the way Star described it. They were nearing the end of the week and Star could manage to get herself up and take care of the baby if she needed. Nervously he watched for a few minutes. He could tell her or just leave. Inside he knew that he should tell her and yet he was terrified to do so. Finally, Killian walked over to where Star was. "I need some time to go sit in the ship. Star I really do want us to be ok."

Mike tried to talk with Killian again, but whenever he saw the man it was a quick brush by and hardly more than a nod. Usually if there was something this big he would have heard about it by now. If there was a job to do Killian would have asked him to take part. Instead he was getting a feeling there was a bit more than what met the eye.

Wandering to the house he knocked until someone answered and he took himself to the room. "Hey it's Mike." Poking his head around the corner he nodded to Star and walked over to the cradle. "You must be the little princess." Grinning he picked her up and held her for a few moments before he set her down again and decided to ask Star what he came for. "What's going on? Killian won't talk to me, hardly looks at me, and he's got that wild look. The one that makes me nervous." Star's explanation made all the horrible sense in the world. "Oh lord." Running his hands through his hair he sighed. "Well that's gonna take a bit to mend. I don't even know what to say to him about something like that." Mike thought for another moment. "If there's something else big going on let me know. He needs an experienced engineer on at least one of those ships. Even Timo's engineer is hardly more than a clown."

It seemed that Star was especially down and he sighed. "Here and I forgot to ask how you're doing." Sounded like things weren't a whole lot better and he sighed. "Well I've got more than one thing to talk with him about. You know I still think that you're the best thing that ever walked onto his ship or shook up his life. Just keep rattling that cage. For a while he liked it and now you got a little close for comfort, but always remember to take care of yourself and never stop demanding he take care of you to."

A little grin came to his face. "I'll let you in on a secret. Us men find women completely irresistible and especially when they're kind, they smile, and they need us. You need him and I know that. He needs you and he has yet to find that out. Keep him around with little things to do and I'll do what I can for my part eh?" Mike winked at Star and headed for the door. "What you said isn't what I would have wanted, but we might as well work with it instead of letting it put us behind."
 
"I need some time to go sit in the ship. Star I really do want us to be ok."
"Me too." She replied softly as he exited the room, Claire in her now well-muscled arms. She may have been stronger and tougher on the outside now, but inside she was dying a little everyday. She sat in a nearby chair, holding the green-eyed Claire close to her chest. "What if he leaves and doesn't come back..." She whispers to the babe. Claire's only answer was a tired nod. Star took her over to the cradle and lay her down, stroking her face. She turned when someone knocked on the door. "Mike?" He hadn't visited much since Killian being poisoned. How ironic the very thing that Killian was pissed off about most was visiting her.

Mike had always been intuitive when it came to her and Killian. Somehow he always knew when something was off, though...this time...there wasn't much to hide. With a heavy heart and guilty conscience she told him what had transpired...what she'd stupidly said and how it had blown up into Killian completely loosing his trust in her.
"How do you think I'm doing? The man I love doesn't trust me, won't tell me he loves me. He's given me the cold shoulder for over three weeks, Mike. Three weeks...not a tender touch, nor kind word. He barely looks at me and when he does it as if he's worried I'm suddenly going to stab him in the back. I'm dying. If...if I'd been dating him I'd probably given up already." She buried her face in her hands, most tears that could've been shed had been shed already. She was tired, and lonely. Lisa even had been too sick to hang out much. Timo she couldn't talk to about this...he'd just get pissed off at Killian and make things worse. Mike understood but he couldn't give her what she needed.

"I'll let you in on a secret. Us men find women completely irresistible and especially when they're kind, they smile, and they need us. You need him and I know that. He needs you and he has yet to find that out. Keep him around with little things to do and I'll do what I can for my part eh?"

Star looked up at him. She wasn't sure what she could do that would keep him around that wouldn't just be straight out manipulative, but she nodded. He left and she lay back down on the bed staring at the ceiling. The light bulb was flickering badly, hinting that it was on its last legs. Her eyes widened slightly. She knew exactly how to keep him around that had nothing to do with her, though perhaps it was a tiny bit manipulative. She rolled over with a wince, grabbed a datapad and started wandering through the house.
-lightbulb in master bedroom needs changing
-sink in the kitchen is leaking
-the stove burner isn't working properly
-the door to the bathroom creaks loudly
-Claire's cradle is shifting dangerously
-(when we have time) star needs a new wardrobe

Star looked down at the list and nearly deleted it. They were so petty and little...but she was desperate. Desperate for him to come back to her...to need her as much as she needed him. She sits down at the dining room table and opens an email document addressed to Killian. She sends the list in email form to him, hoping he wouldn't just ignore it. Then...she opens up a new email doc:

Love of my life,

I've loved you since the day you bought me that beautiful red dress. I loved you as you sat me down for a glass of wine, awkward and unsure of yourself but adorable and passionate. I loved you as you held me, carrying me from my wheelchair to my bed. I loved you while you gave me the strength to walk again. I loved you as you promised that you would work with me to make sure there were lines we didn't cross and boundaries we didn't push unless absolutely needed. I loved you as you continually treated me like an equal and brought me in on your plans, listening to my suggestion. I loved you as you protected me when the ship began to crash, as we were taken in by the Chippequoti and while you refused to let anything they did or say change how you cared for me, and protected me. I loved you after discovering you weren't exactly human, and that I wouldn't grow old with you.
I loved you even after what happened with the Cannibals, and the torment of the games and slavery. Even Kafus could never fully take away that love that is so deeply ingrained within me. Nothing will tear it away. I will die before I stop loving or needing you.

That love has only grown since the birth of our daughter, since our marriage and covenant to never abandon the other. My need for you in my life everyday grows with it. But now I have hurt you...broken your trust and I have begun to die inside. While I love you as deeply as before, you withhold your love out of pain and fear. Every time you walk out that door without saying "I love you" I die a little more inside. Even now I'm on the cusp of hopelessness, wondering if you'll ever love me the same again and I think it would be better to kill myself then to suffer much more of your rejection.

I need you...do you not know how much I need you? You're my husband..for better or for worse. You are my life, my other half, my reason for existing. If I could reword things I would, my careless words have caused you pain and broken the trust you had in me. Give me another chance. Let me show how much I love you...that I would never betray you, even if it cost me my life. I miss you so badly my heart feels like its breaking, and I can't take much more. Just come back to me...come back and love me again.

~Your other half, Star

Star wiped away the flood of tears and sent the email but with a two day delay, giving Mike a chance to talk to Killian and hopefully giving him time to consider whatever Mike said. There was an audio function so he could listen to the message if he couldn't read it all. She just hoped it would be enough to reignite the fire that had been lost. She sets the datapad down and weeps softly, hoping beyond hope it would work and bring him back. She was at her limit...if this didn't work...she didn't know what she'd do.
 
If there was ever a time that Killian wanted to leave it was now. He couldn't leave because of Claire. What would that little girl do if she didn't have a father? Who would watch out for her when there were men around that potentially wanted to harm her? For the time he needed to just tough it out. Somewhere this all had to make sense there needed to be some kind of explanation.

Mike waited a day. Sounded like Star hadn't even been able to talk to Killian and he knew that had to be killing her. As for his own situation Mike had to find a way to talk to Killian without possibly making it all sound like Star was somehow involved. In the end that wouldn't work so he decided after an entire day that he would have to tell Killian exactly what happened. That would include talking about his contingency plan. Since Killian was mostly hiding in his ship these days the colony had gone on under Frank's command. For the most part that was what Frank did anyway. However, there were a few needs coming up and Killian had to get his head on straight. Walking up the ramps Mike typed the code in only to find that it changed. Beating on the door he yelled. "Let me in. I know you're in there."

The slid up and Mike stepped inside. He could already feel his heart start to beat a little faster. This wasn't a good look on the Chippequoti's face. Almost that same as it had been when he went to kill his brother. "I talked with Star yesterday. First of all she's broken hearted. Secondly I know she told you about my plan. That was back when we were part of the rebellion. I'd watched you kill entire crews of men and the people we had were good folk. I killed Adam to protect you and Star. After all those years I still had my original back up because you were unpredictable and it was my duty as much as it was yours to see that the crew was safe." Mike took a step closer. He was close enough to be in reach of the Chip and he swallowed. "Then we learned you were a Chippequoti and it started to make sense. You aren't actually that unpredictable. I noticed a few things about them that are the same with you. Star needs you and whether or not you'll admit it you need her. Killian you need someone you can trust and she was always straight forward with you. Stabbed you with that darn needle cause it suited her. Maybe I wasn't straightforward with all my actions, but she always was with you. She could drive a bargain like no other and you liked it. I've told you before that if you lose her its your own damn fault and that's still true."

Watching the gaze soften some Mike figured that he would ask Killian to do one last thing. "Don't go rushing back to her in the passion of the moment. You stay here in this ship for a night all alone. If you have to take off and fly tomorrow. Go be by yourself and determine if you really want to do this alone." The real question in Mike's mind was if Killian actually loved her. "I'm going now...When you've decided what you want to do with me I'll figure you'll talk to me." Motioning to the door he waited for Killian to open it and stepped out. Mike hoped that though this would cause some fear for Star it would propel Killian to some kind of action.

********************************************************************************************

Spending a whole night without Star...It was exactly what Killian thought he wanted to do for a few weeks now. Just a night to clear his head. Star was waiting he knew that much. The night all by himself felt lonely. In many ways that had been the worst. Killian hated being all alone. He'd always kept a crew around and folks that he could pester if nothing else. His bed felt empty and he couldn't even sleep. There was a combination of dreams and then the constant reminder that he had the bed all to himself even though he only slept on his half.

Morning came and so did the letter that followed the list. Everything in the letter screamed that he was indeed on the verge of losing her. Pulling on the same shirt from yesterday he started over to the house. Killian limped heavily as he was still having some problems with the leg. That would resolve in a few weeks time and then it would all be fine again. Almost busting through the door he marched straight to their room and pushed the door open. Inside Star was sitting with Claire. His eyes roamed the room quickly and he shut the door behind himself. "I decided I would rather have you than be alone. Star, I want you and you're still the only woman I'll ever need." He waited for her to finish feeding the baby and he gently put a hand on her shoulder. "Lets go. Just the three of us and get you some new clothes to wear. We need a few days to get this sorted out."

Killian wanted to have her to himself and away from all these people. "I'll fix the stuff in the house today, but get packed up while I do that. I'll go get a list of what the colony needs and uh....This trip Star....It's only about getting needs for the colony and us. No raids, nothing like that."
 
Star looked up startled as Killian suddenly came through the door. She waited in trepidation as he stood there a.momemt And then closed the door. Was this it? Was he going to come back to her or tell her off. His declaration took the weight of sorrow off her heart and she finished with Claire as quickly as possible. After she'd laid the babe down and turned around, Killian lay a soft hand on her shoulder.

An outing, as a family...just the three of them with no agenda other than supplies. It seemed too good to be true. Perhaps the letter in combination with whatever Mike had said really had gotten through to him. Still, she guarded her heart, hopeing cautiously that this was real and not just a moment of guilt or inspired by needs that hadn't been fulfilled in over a month.

She wanted so desperately to hug him but instead just nodded. "Ok. Yeah. That sounds good. I'll...start packing." When he turned to get started on the list she hesitated the called out. "Killian...thanks, for coming back." She offered a cautious smile and turned to start packing.
****************************************
Later that evening Star gave Mike a grateful kiss on his cheek and walked with Killian to the ship with their luggage for a few days. She has her watch packed too but wasn't quite ready to it back on. She hesitated at the ramp, Claire in her arms. She couldn't help but worry that this was just some elaborate plan to get her off the planet and leave her at the next habitable planet. It was irrational..she knew...but this sudden turn around after 3 weeks of cold silence made her a bit nervous about the true nations behind it and his true thoughts about her. Did he still not trust her and this was his way of trying to mend that? Or was this a trial to see if he could trust her again? What happened if she failed the trial?

Killian looks back at her and she carries Claire into the ship.
****************************
It was the first time since the procedure that she wasn't in too much pain to actually stand long enough to cook. Claire was napping amd killian came in just as she'd put the meal on the table. "So, where are we going?" She asks tentivly as she sits across from him.
 
Back
Top