Mrs. Pugglesworth opened the door before Kitty would even have time to knock. "Well, hello, dear!" The saccharine voice oozed out of a body that looked like the Pillsbury Dough Boy had started to melt in the heat. Wide rings of flesh stacked on top of each other to form a body, starting with the pudgy feet crammed in tennis shoes that had long since stopped trying to contain them, a strangely smooth and shiny roll shaped like a loaf of bread made up the calves, multiple tiny rolls created the illusion of knees, and the thighs were mercifully hidden in loose white shorts, one leg of which would have created a skirt for Kitty. The flowery, pale shirt did its best, but while it was loose and more or less shapeless, it was, unfortuneately, the type of material that clung more than it flapped. The torso was formed by two or three lopsided rings that seemed to meld and separate from each other like bread dough in the middle of kneading it. The breasts were... Well, she wasn't wearing a bra, and she was the type of woman who desperately needed one. The arms were much like smaller versions of the legs, but ending in sausage-fingered hands and beginning with triceps that could have been stretched out and used for sails but were currently folded awkwardly into short sleeves. The neck was two perfect folds of goo trapped in skin that shifted and seemed to pour from one side to the other as she shifted and talked. Her cheeks were reminiscent of a hounddog's with not much less hair, an odd nose squashed in the middle, and twin beady eyes sheltered under a lowering brow with sparse eyebrows. It was all topped off with stringy white hair that had been cut into a shape that might have looked elegant with more hair, but just looked like visible static electricity with hers.
"I say! I believe I saw you sitting on the McCleary porch yesterday reading the hours away!" Mrs. Pugglesworth said, bobbing her head adamantly with each word, causing her neck jowls to ripple and sway in a rather alarming fashion. "Yes, yes, I did! Such a diligent reader, too, I do no think you even saw me wave." A barb of disapproval peaked out of that last sentence.