How Green Becomes Wood

Dark sighed, staying rested against his son, "Sometimes when a student is not there, we do not think, 'they are skipping school.' There are so many reasons why a student may miss only one class, and that is not always communicated with us. There are so many ways students can slip through the cracks, and it is not even always their teachers do not care. I would say the majority of the teachers at that school care. But we have many students, and it is not like we can leave the class unattended to hunt down the missing student, all we can do is report them absent, and sometimes teachers do not notice, because they do a quick scan for the standard faces. How many classes are you in where they still call out everybody's name every day?"
 
"I guess that's fair. It's just weird that we live in a society where it's mandatory to go to school, and so much emphasis is put on education, but there's no easy way to actually follow up, it seems like. People just whine about the system failing them or their kids or someone being dumb on the internet," Alec sighed. "So weird. But at least now he's being given a chance. Whether he likes it or not."
 
"I am very glad that he is. I would not be surprised if it is not what he wants, it was not what I wanted. But it is important." He fell silent for a little while, moving slightly as he thought deeply about something, "That is why I wanted to move towards administration. I was planning to go back to school for it, even. I wanted to improve things. I think I would have been promoted to head of the history department at the end of this year, when the current head retires."
 
Alec considered his words carefully. "I think you would have made a very big difference. I think you would have been fantastic. But... I don't think you would have been happy. Or, at least, not as happy as you are now. You are a fantastic dad, that's for sure, and you make a big difference in our three lives."
 
Dark looked down at Alec and then out the window, "I truly enjoyed teaching. More than I thought I would, when I started." He gently squeezed Alec's shoulder, "You three changed my priorities, and I woke up one day wanting to dedicate my time to three lives, rather than an entire student body. Still, it was not a decision which was easy, and I do wish I did not need to make it. I do not regret it, but if I either hated or loved teaching more... The three of you matter to me in a way nothing else ever has. Not even Daizi, although she matters to me with the same veracity, just differently. I would always choose you."
 
Alec smiled and hugged Dark fully for a moment. He let go and backed off to give Dark his space back before saying, "It is good to hear you say that. I know it, and you show it, but it's good to hear it sometimes. Thank you. I'm sorry you had to give up teaching, too, because you were great, and you did make an impact on a lot of people."
 
After squeezing Alec just tight enough, Dark sat back and said, "I can always go back, when Ivy is older. Bernice even said as much, so long as there is an opening. Maybe one day I will have both my own department and the three of you. Or I will do something else altogether."
 
"A motorcycle gang?" Dark asked, a surprised laugh escaping him, "I do not even think motorcycle gangs have 'principals.' I have thought, every so often, about becoming a tattoo artist. I had started learning once, long ago, but quit too early, in the end."
 
"That's a shame. You'd have been really good at it," Alec mused. "Probably better than a motorcycle gang leader or a principal. But I suppose interests do change sometimes."
 
Despite the sudden,mildly embarrassing, realization Alec meant principal of a school or head of a motorcycle gang and not principal, or head, of a motorcycle gang, Dark chose not to address the little misunderstanding and instead said, "It was not really a change in interest... At least, not in the normal way. When I left high school, I did not immediately go to college. I still felt rather useless, in those days, and more than anything was waiting for... Something. The other shoe to drop, I suppose. So I worked as a waiter, and I found this apprenticeship, and I got into all the sorts of trouble I got into when Daizi and I were broken up, and I was not... happy, but I was on my way. And then Daizi was getting married. So I got on a plane. And I lost my job." He shook his head, amused by the memories of those times, running around a big city unsuccessfully juggling girlfriends and boyfriends and skipping meals to afford cheap whiskey and razor blades, "My mentor understood, although he was not happy. But I could not afford to keep doing it, I was not at a point where I could support myself, much less myself and Daizi, who could not legally work at that point, so I had to stop and ended up getting this horrible office job. I said I would go back, some day. But..." He shrugged, "Life gets in the way, sometimes."
 
Alec nodded thoughtfully. "I suppose life does move us away from passions and things like that. But then sometimes it leads us back and practically drops the opportunity into our laps." He grinned at Dark. "Maybe you don't even want to do tattooing as a job anymore, but now you have that option! You'll be busy for a while figuring out how to be a stay-at-home dad, but you'll still need something for yourself, so why not consider taking up a few lessons again? If you don't like it, you don't have to follow through, but maybe you'll find something you want to do more than teaching."
 
"Maybe," Dark replied, casting his gaze out towards the window, "I suppose I wonder sometimes if that sort of thing has passed me by, now. I worry less than I used to about... All of the things which made me shy away from it last year when it came up, briefly. I am not that old, but..." He shrugged slightly, "I do not know how I feel about it, I think."
 
"I am not concerned about things going wrong. I really... I do not know where my apprehension comes from. I have spent many many years thinking about it, wishing I had stuck with it, feeling glad I did not stick with it... It really feels like a lifetime ago."
 
"That's a lot of complicated feelings to work through," Alec agreed soberly. "Well, for what it's worth, I think you should try it. Eventually, when you can make time for it. Maybe you won't even like it anymore, and that'll make your choices a lot easier, but maybe you will like it. You'll never know until you give it a try."
 
Alec nodded. "It can wait a bit. Soon, though, she'll be going on playdates! And then school. Or kindergarten or whatever." He shifted so he could look out the window. "I'm not sure I know what I want to do. I thought I did for a time, but now I'm not sure."
 
"I am excited for that." Dark replied, turning down the volume on the baby monitor he had brought with him just in case when he heard Daizi's voice come over it, "It is normal to change your mind. You do not want to be a... dancer, anymore?"
 
"I love dancing, and I'm not giving that up," ALec stated with conviction. "But... I don't think it's how I want to make a living. Just like how I love art, but I don't want that to be my living because I enjoy it too much. I might dabble in selling a piece here and there or farmer's markets or something, but not a living. I'm not sure what I want to do, but I do know I don't want to work something like fast-food. It's way too stressful, and they don't get enough credit. I do kind of like working for Uncle Tristan, though, at his flower shop. I never thought I'd like something like that, but I don't think I see that for a living. Just... for now. I just feel like I'm missing out on having a goal, any goal, even if that goal changes later."
 
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