How Green Becomes Wood

"Ah, love!" Alec sighed happily.

"Ugh. Love," Xander grunted, rolling his eyes.

The waiter came then to get their drinks orders and answer questions before leaving again.

"When are we going to return to the beach?" Alec asked, studying his menu with a speculative frown.
 
"I am two weeks away from having been married for a full decade of my life, I am allowed to enjoy the feeling of being in love," Dark said dryly before looking up to give the waiter his drink order. After he left he looked at Alec, "I am not sure. I do not know if we can go again this summer, but we can always go to Cooger's lake."
 
"You can visit him almost any time you ask," Dark reminded them, "He loves having you over. Although anyone who visits is forced into the same drawling conversation about if he should adopt a goat or not. I believe I have had it six or seven times now."
 
"I think that means he should get a goat," Alec said with a nod. "I don't know what goats entail, but he has the perfect property for one!"

"Agreed," Xander snorted. "He'd make a good goat owner, I think. What do you tell him, Ba?"
 
"I tell him the fact he has been debating this for so long can only mean two things: he wants someone to talk him out of it, or he wants someone to talk him into it. And if he wants someone to talk him out of it, he clearly does not actually want a goat. If he wants someone to talk him into it, it either means he does not want to have the goat, or he is scared of the responsibility, so what he really needs to decide which it is." Dark replied simply, "And every time I tell him this, he hits me and tells me I do not always need to speak like a King Soloman 'want-to-be.'"
 
"Yes," Xander said, forcing down a smile. "That's the right way. Say it again."

Alec nudged him hard. "Ignore him. Say whatever you like, Ba."

The waiter returned, took their order, and left to fetch the food, leaving Alec and Xander to "discuss" whether it should be "wannabe" or "Want-to-be."
 
"Ba!" Alec gasped. "Are you hiding your glorious accent? Scandalous!"

Xander nearly doubled over laughing. "You sound like those British actors trying to fake it!" he snorted gleefully.
 
"I go to the McDonald's to order a cheeseburger and a bebsi," He said, his real accent slipping back out when he said 'pepsi,' and grumbling, dropping his American accent said, "Shu, with your 'wannabe.'"
 
Alec tried not to, but he couldn't help giggling behind his hand as he watched his father attempting to be very American and mostly managing it. "Very good," he squeaked. "Almost perfect!"

Xander didn't bother hiding the fact that he was wheezing in laughter. "Want to be a bebsi!"
 
"Oh, there's no question, I would fare horribly," Alec said brightly, grinning mischievously.

They managed to rein in their laughter as the waiter returned with their food, but it took Xander a few minutes before he was able to compose himself.

"Your accent is fine," he told Dark, wiping some tears from his eyes. "It's not even that thick. Until you want a bebsi. Then you might have some poblems."
 
"Pennsylvania accent? I don't have an accent," Alec said with a return sniff. He did his best to suppress his accent, almost managing a sort of British accent in its stead. "I have my own accent! It is a glorious accent."

Xander, on the other hand, pulled out the most Philly sentence he could think of. "Yo, when you’re done your glass of wooder, wanna get a hoagie on Thirdyfish Street awn da way over to Moik’s for de Iggles game?"
 
Dark chuckled softly, wincing at the Xander's Philly accent, "I do not even understand most of what you just said. Normally I presume my English has deceived me, but I will not take responsibility in this instance."
 
"It doesn't matter, Ba. He's just messing with you," Alec sniggered.

"I still got it!" Xander grinned. "My third grade English teacher hated it so much he tried to train it out of me, and I tried to make it more."

"And I think you broke even in the process," Alec said dryly.
 
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