How Green Becomes Wood

All this time they had spent making sure the twins felt like they still were able to spend time with their parents, they never suggested the twins should spend time with each other. Dark and Daizi shifted slightly, realizing that hadn't once occurred to them as something they should try to encourage. It just... sort of seemed like something they'd do naturally. And they both kept pretty full schedules, now, which certainly didn't help.
 
"Do you know what a Venn diagram is?" At their nods, Dr. Dre explained, "Relationships are like Venn diagrams. Some relationships are so overlapped there is only a tiny bit outside of that overlap, but it is still there. Some people have so little overlap it almost disappears, but it is still there. In order to maintain a healthy Venn diagram, you need to ensure the health of the things inside the overlap as well as outside. It sounds as though you are doing a very good job creating lives outside of each other, which could not have been easy, but you have drifted too far apart. I think it is time you start emphasizing spending quality time with each other as brothers doing something you both enjoy and not just utilitarian time or time with you plus others. What do you think?"

Xander, surprisingly, spoke first. "I think that makes sense."

"And it makes sense that you would want your own stuff and that you'd want me to ask first. I'm sorry I was being blind to your boundaries," Alec said softly.

Xander glanced at him then at the floor. "I'm sorry I was ignoring what you needed."

Dr. Dre smiled, pleased. "I don't expect everything to be fixed with just this session, and I don't expect you to get everything right on the first try. There will be mistakes, times we forget or times we are too busy to think right, but as long as you communicate and are willing to both apologize and forgive, I think you will find things will get better a little at a time." She looked to Dark and Daizi. "Is there anything you would like to bring up?"
 
Both moving slightly on the couch, both adults paused to make sure the other one was able to say what they needed, if they needed to. Dark didn't think he had anything to bring up. There were the drawings, but--He couldn't. He'd have to sit there in front of his children and admit he invaded Alec's privacy and got his feelings hurt, when he shouldn't have looked in the first place.

Daizi swallowed, knowing the focus was on her, again, and there were so, so many fears she had as a parent, but her tongue got all tied up. "I just want us to have peace again," she said at last, "We've all spent a really long time without it, and we've spent a really long time hurting, and I want to not be that way, anymore."
 
"I'm sorry, Mama," Alec said guiltily. "I'm very sorry."

"I'm sorry, too," Xander sighed, his shoulders slumping. "I didn't think... no, I didn't want to believe what I was going through affected you so much."

"It is alright to experience such disharmony for a time," Dr. Dre said. "Alec and Xander, you may have made mistakes, but you have been honest about them and willing to change. That goes a long way. Hold yourselves accountable, but be gentle with yourselves. Punishing yourselves too harshly does not help the healing process. Is there anything else you want to talk about before our time is up?"

Alec hesitated and then looked at Xander. "Do you really think I get off easier?"

Xander shrugged. "Maybe a little, but, I mean, you are less problematic than me, and you fold a lot faster. I'm too stubborn, so I guess I need the extra motivation. Plus, you carry a lot in your head and belly instead of breaking stuff like I do."

Alec smiled partially. "You are very, very stubborn, but I'm sorry if I ever make you feel... lesser."

"You don't. Just me in my own head," Xander sighed. He glanced at his mother. "Sorry I'm so hard to talk to."
 
"You don't have to apologize to me," Daizi reasserted, pushing her hair back, taking a controlled breath, "I just want to help you, and I don't want to wait too long, and have things..." She sighed, turning her face towards her husband, recognizing something but knowing they didn't have the time to get into it, and guessing this wasn't the place for it, either. His eyebrows furrowed subtly at her look, but she turned her face away, "I want for things to be pulled together when things don't feel utterly hopeless, and I say feel, because I know they never always are."
 
"Oh, Mama." Alec went around and hugged her, leaning into her. "Things are going to get better. I promise."

Xander gripped the arm of the chair, watching Alec and Daizi, wishing he had something more than words to assure her. Things would get better. He'd work to make them better.

Dr. Dre gave them a moment, watching them as she made quick little notes. "How are you two doing?" she asked Dark and Daizi. "With each other. Times like these are very hard and very stressful, and it is important that we remember to take care of ourselves and our spouses."
 
"I know they will," Daizi replied, squeezing Alec tightly, "I know." She kissed the side of his head and then let him go, her breath catching as she pulled away. It took her some time before she answered the therapist's question, "We're okay." She swallowed to clear her throat and leaned into her husband's hand as he rubbed her back.

He answered, "We are okay," and after a moment, smiled the faintest of smiles, looking at his wife while he spoke, rather than at Dr. Dre, "When I am having a difficult moment, I have complete faith in knowing Daizi will check on me, even if I thought I was hiding it well. And she listens when if tell her I am not ready to talk about it but want her to sit with me, and leaves the room if I tell her I would prefer to be alone." A mixture of love, devotion, sorrow, and gratefulness all pulled at his heart as he gazed at the woman who had been his strongest supporter for so many, many years, "I am never afraid of admitting my emotions to her, because she is nothing but gracious, understanding, and careful with me. I am safe, when I am with her."

"It's been a hard two years," Daizi said, speaking her side while trying both not to cry at Dark's words and trying not to knock him to the ground with how tightly she wanted to squeeze him because he was so overwhelmingly cute, "but Dark keeps me sane. After a hard day, he's the only person I want to talk to. And I've gotten to become a parent with him, and witness how we've both grown and changed together, because we need to be a different sort of team than we were before. I'm so grateful... Really, he makes me so unbelievably happy. You wouldn't guess it, but at the end of an absolutely brutal day, he's the one who I can trust to make me laugh. I think we're happier as a couple now, than we were before our lives changed like this. I mean, I get to sit there and listen to him learn how to be silly. It's wonderful. And I get to listen to him be empathetic, and stern, and welcoming. As his wife, I'm happy. I'm really, really happy." And she was going to ask him to marry her again, and she knew it, and Alec and Xander knew it. She had whispered it to Ivy, but she didn't really understand. Dark didn't know it, and she couldn't mention it, but she knew. "There are some things I think we both wish were a bit different," Dark nodded at this, "but we talk about that, too."

"Most of those wants come down to timing," Dark admitted, "I am a stay-at-home father, now, and Daizi has been working from home, so we have more actual time together, but we have less time just the two of us."

"We've been trying to figure out if we can stay up a bit later at night and still have energy in the morning, so we can have more time to ourselves when we aren't needed, and the twins are good at watching Ivy when we need it," Daizi concluded, the crush she had on her husband plain on her face, "but even when we don't have a lot of that time, it's still wonderful to just wake up in the same bed as him, even when it's to the sound of a baby crying robotically over a monitor."
 
The twins glanced at each other, a little uncomfortable at the awkward level of love being displayed, but at the same time extraordinarily pleased at their parents' admission that in all of this chaos, all of this mess, all of this stress, they were fine. Better than fine. All was well in the bubble that was them. They might not have admitted it, especially Xander, but it was a huge comfort to hear.

"Good," Dr. Dre said warmly. "That is very good to hear, and good for your children to hear." A soft chime came from her desk. "That's time, I am afraid."

The twins looked at her, and Alec said, "Thank you."

"You are very welcome, Alec," Dr. Dre told him. "If you ever need another session, please let me know. Sometimes it helps just to have someone to guide the conversation in a group." She stood and thanked each of them for coming and wished them well with such warmth it was impossible to think she didn't mean it.
 
With the confirmation they were okay, and the session was over, Dark and Daizi both took a deep breath, shook the doctor's hands, thanked her, and then, after Dark lifted the carrier with Ivy, they left the office and headed back to the car, a level of silence as they all thought through what happened.

When Dark spoke, all he said was, "I think we should pick up dinner, tonight. It is easier."
 
The twins murmured in agreement, but that was all they said. They sat looking out opposite windows, silent and still as they processed everything that had been talked about and all of the revelations they'd had. They both had a lot to consider for the coming week. For the rest of the foreseeable future, really. It was a lot to take in. There was... so much. All good. All serious. The next question: Where to start? They weren't ready to voice the question just yet, but they would soon.
 
Daizi didn't say much either, content to think through everything that happened and fiddle with her seatbelt as Dark drove through the drive through of a place he knew they all liked. It was times like this, as bizarre as it was, that Daizi missed being pregnant. There was something soothing to her about being able to run her hands up and down her belly and focus on this concrete future event which was going to be so, so good. The repetitive motion was a soothing way to stim, and there was so much hope in it. She wasn't so round anymore, at least not there, and though she still had so much hope for the future, she couldn't focus it all on this one specific thing to distract herself by.

Instead, she reached one hand over and rested it on Dark's forearm where it rested on the center console, running her nails lightly against his skin. It was a similar motion, anyway. And she could think about how they were okay.

"Ivy's not going to sleep tonight," She murmured, thinking about how they had thrown off her sleep schedule pretty severely.

"No," Dark agreed, as they turned towards home after picking up dinner, "She will not."
 
"I can look after her for a bit if you need me to so you can have a break," Alec offered quietly. "I finished my homework except for a couple of quick things or things not due for a while, and I don't mind."
 
"We'll see when she wakes up," Daizi replied, listening for any little noises her baby made. "I wouldn't ask you to stay up. You've got school tomorrow. And while she's still sleeping, we all have a break."
 
Alec murmured his agreement and fell silent after that. It felt like a very long ride home as the smell of food filled the car.

When they got home, the twins carried in the food, transitioning it between each other as they got off their shoes and touched the salt. Then they went to clean up and wash their hands, feeling like they were resetting before going to sit down for dinner.
 
Daizi went to the backseat to take Ivy out of the carseat like she was Indiana Jones. They didn't like leaving her to sleep in it, because they had read months ago it could be dangerous, and Daizi was typical successful at removing her from it without waking her. The plan was to set her immediately in the crib, but the moment she had her in her arms, all she wanted to do was hold her. But knowing she needed to eat her own dinner, and knew if she held her while she did, Ivy would definitely wake up, she forced herself to go to the nursery and lie Ivy down.

"Mama loves you, Hummingbird," Daizi murmured, once Ivy was successfully transferred. "You were so good today." She bent over the railing of the crib to give Ivy a little kiss, then went downstairs to eat.
 
The twins were quiet as they ate. Alec ate less than normal, but he still ate a decent amount. He kept staring off at nothing while Xander kept his eyes down on his plate and whatever he held in his hand. After dinner, they automatically got up and started cleaning up, working together wordlessly.
 
Ivy woke up shortly after dinner and needed to be changed, fed, and cuddled, in that order. With her schedule thrown off, she was quite demanding. And Enkidu needed to be fed, walked, and given his earned attention.

Once she was calm, though, and cozy in her mother's arms, Dark went over to where the twins were and said, "I think we should talk about what we discussed today."
 
"You think so?" Alec asked tiredly, not arguing necessarily, just confirming.

Xander heaved a sigh and went to the living room where he claimed one end of the couch.

Alec followed and took the opposite end of the couch.
 
He nodded as an answer, and went with them to the living room, where Daizi was curled up with Ivy in her arms. After a few awkward moments, Daizi asked, "Besides tired, how are you both feeling?"
 
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